I need HOCD help

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by MrAlkali, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    Apologies but I seem to have misread your comment as well and I feel like it was just your wording that confused us
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  2. No bother. Could you be more specific about what impression I'm giving, and which part of my post's giving that impression?
     
  3. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    The first part about seemed a bit too harsh to say to someone at 15. I understand why you would say that since my dad is the same way but other people would take it to heart. Also I don't exactly think supporting compulsive acts supports the point of the site which is to stop it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  4. Well, I was about that age when I had to deal with all of this stuff, with no help, so I won't apologize for my tone.

    As for supporting compulsive acts, that's absolutely not what I'm saying. My point is that you have to accept yourself, no matter what that self turns out to be or want. In doing so, you disempower the OCD, because it thrives on doubt and fear. Acting out sexually is not something I would ever recommend, and I can't see how my post comes across as suggesting this.

    I'm wary of sharing more of my story in case it freaks the OP out more, because on the one hand, telling someone I trusted about the paraphilia was enough to break its spell, which was a massive relief. On the other hand, the person I told abused my trust because he was leveraging a 10-year age difference and using Freudian psychology to try to seduce me, which led me to have a total mental breakdown that it took more than a decade to overcome, all by my damn self. But my situation was extreme in a lot of ways, OP, so I'd like to say the chances of this happening to you are practically nil.

    If I'm coming across as harsh and being unhelpful, I apologize (having just said I wouldn't!), because that's absolutely not my intention. But maybe the OP can be the judge of what's helpful and what isn't, instead of people criticizing me on his behalf?
     
  5. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    I apologize for what happened to you and I can't say you're wrong for the tone you used. I just think despite that its hard for others to understand that tone with no context of your character on this thread and to be a bit careful.
     
  6. I take your point, but at the same time, maybe you could let OP decide what is and isn't helpful?
     
  7. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    Yeah sorry for the trouble
     
  8. No hard feelings.
     
  9. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    So if you are basing it on experience then why are you telling him to go ahead with it!
     
  10. I said to accept the possibility, because fighting it doesn't help.

    And who even are you, with a provocative anagram of the controversial and thematically unhelpful fetish 'femdom' on a porn recovery website, acting like an expert with no credentials to back it up, and trying to police a thread when you're not even staff. Are you just trying to start shit, or what?
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  11. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Is this a joke? If you know it's a paraphilia then it's very bad advice to say go ahead and do it.
    I'm just trying to help users with risky paraphilas. Is my input not allowed?
     
  12. Your input could show a more accurate appraisal of what was actually posted, for one thing. For another, you could stick to offering your own advice if you think it's better. As it is, you clearly have a very high opinion of your own opinion, and I'm done with this particular thread.

    Best of luck, OP - I really hope you get things sorted out.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I really don't care if you think this. You told him to do something that could potentially make him suicidal. And the in-group bias on this forum and yourbrainrebalanced is very common. I seem to have a knack for triggering users lol.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  14. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    Anyways the point is just don't prevent yourself from these sensations as it would ultimately slow if not stunt your recovery. Feel it out and go with the pain of it. I know it may sound scary to do it since you're afraid of being gay but you need to believe you can control yourself even through the adversity in your brain.
     
  15. MrAlkali

    MrAlkali Fapstronaut

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    i think abstaining from porn does help but at first makes the thoughts stronger then im hoping theyll fade
     
  16. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    They will just give it time. Patience is key and be respectful to yourself.
     
  17. MrAlkali

    MrAlkali Fapstronaut

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    yeah its almost been only two weeks. The HOCD seems to be getting worse and almost as if i want to be gay but deep down i know i dont. My mind makes me think ill enjoy anal and sucking a man off but to me thats disgusting. I just hope the thoughts fade sooner
     
  18. Ricardotardo

    Ricardotardo Fapstronaut

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    Don't trouble yourself about when they'll go away for the amount of time varies. Keep your thoughts on what is happening in front of you.
     
  19. MrAlkali

    MrAlkali Fapstronaut

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    im getting thoughts now of sucking mans penis and i get a groinal response and that disgusts and scares me
     
  20. lollusk

    lollusk Fapstronaut

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    you have to be strong man, i know it's hard because is a loop that you cannot stop, i guess if you try meditate to not focus on your mind this thoughts will eventually disappear, when this thoughts appear calm down and focus on now
     

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