I am 26 years old and getting crazily mad with this issue, wtf am I supposed to do if my Bondage fetish developed when I was around 6 or 7? If I quit watching porn and fapping I'm gonna have no choice to kill this fetish or else it will be impossible to do Nofap and get my life back in control and pursuing my goals and dreams, but then that other side of me doesn't want to kill it because it is part of me, and people keep saying to not suppress your sexual desires if it comes from your personality, it is something I truly enjoy. I tried to find another alternative, but nothing is close to it, I like being restricted and being totally helpless in front of women, there's no other activity that can fill that. I just don't see a life without it, it's like as if I loved playing video games since I was a kid (which is true) but I have to give it all up forever or else I will keep being a damn mess. It makes it incredibly difficult, near impossible to do. I practiced Bondage years all alone in my room, then later on went to actual parties and Munches meeting awesome people who practiced this, a man who was a friend of mine even did Shibari on me "Japanese rope ties" I also did suspensions, he took pics of me while I was in the air tied up and I was smiling with joy and I laughed a few times in the process, I also went fully naked in public and enjoyed getting beaten, which is something I never expected to enjoy but I actually did. BDSM IS a problem if I keep thinking about it almost 24/7 yes, but should I really get it rid of my life? A month ago I threw away a total of at least 300$ worth of sex toys and restraints, I was tired of fapping, procrastinating, always been buzzed and numb, depressed from the fact that I have no partners to fill that need... I also left all my friends I used to see, I literally just deleted my account without saying good bye and lost all my contacts now. I did it because I had no car and people had to always come and get me for events if I wanted to participate, I was tired of that and preferred to wait until I was fully ready having a driver license, having my life in control, making money through my work as an artist at home and be more focus and thinking less about sex, so that's why I've left to give myself a break. I am still a virgin and now I can't figured out if I want a normal partner who is totally vanilla or kinky... Everything is all over the fucking place... I'm so lost guys. And I've tried to do Nofap since five years and never went higher than 13 days.