Been on this journey for months now, but have never gotten a streak longer than 13 days. As a former fat and depressed individual, I got very emotionally attached to porn, especially specific Instagram models and videos that were difficult to find. Now I'm in better shape, I look better, lost weight, put on muscle, even talk to random women better than I used to, but there is still one major problem. There is a specific category of video that has been my biggest weakness and I relapse to it every time I come across it. I've been avidly avoiding that category for the past 2-3 months, and even when I relapse I make sure it isn't on that. Once I fall down that rabbit hole, it takes days sometimes weeks for me to crawl out of that dark pit. Anyway, yesterday I broke my one rule and relapsed to that... I'm now super anxious and in a terrible place. I went to work out today and was at the gym for almost three hours. Absolutely went ham and had and incredible workout which kept the thoughts at bay. Now that I'm back home, the thoughts are haunting me again... It's like I'm two different people. When I'm out of the house, I'm energetic and full of life, focusing on self improvement and whatnot, but when I'm home, I'm the deviant that I've been all these years. I need to stop because I've developed PIED and haven't had sex in over three years due to fear of not getting up again. I know if I retain my seed and avoid porn, my dick will eventually get healthier, but this one category has me mentally fucked up. Even now, I'm so tempted to browse it, even though I know it'll kill my gains. Help me.