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i need some advice

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by righthand, Jul 21, 2019.

  1. righthand

    righthand New Fapstronaut

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    well hello, so im really confused with my porn addict and It seems i cant really get rid off this bad habit, and I'll explain my whole story as simple as I can. im male 21 yo, so this year its my 8th year as a heavy porn addict, and I oftenly fantasizing sexual things before I sleep its like "Its hard for me to sleep if I don't do it". and fortunately for 8th years, as a porn addict my fetish is not that weird, I have few fetish that (bdsm, POV, anal, JAV, Hentai, Straight, Dance) those fetish its okay as long as the girls had a beautiful face. and I really can PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) for 12 hour straight and I don't mean to be proud, but recently I oftenly just surfing for 3-6 hour. The things that in my head while surfing porn website is "I must get the new porn or the good porn then yesterday", then while I stop watching porn for a day, the next of that day automatically my thought thinking "im really curious about the new porn today", its like im really fucked up without porn. Then I got plan that, i'll download the best porn and so far I only can find 20ish video, and that plan its work for only 3-4 days, but still the day that plan work I still find hard to control the amount of masturbation, its like 1-3 a day, and its really makes me sluggish/tired for a day. and bad news is T.T im really really out of option/plan, and for my social life is not that bad like I have 5 friends that I can really hangout with. some day I watch many vids on youtube about NoFap, and oftenly they say "go outside, hangout, have a hobby" well recently I got new hobbies is playing guitar, and yeah I oftenly met my 5 friends and hangout drinks coffee together but its seems the change of my pmo behaviour doesn't change.., so in conclusion I really want to get rid this bad habbit, cause its really corrupting my mentality and physically, and I had few question.

    - should I decrease the amount time of surfing porn and masturbation (stick to the plan) or just forcefully stop fap and watching porn?

    - how to get rid of sexual fantasy?

    - do I need a GF?

    - is it possible while focusing to get rid this habbit, im doing some activites that can cause stress? (like get a job, online trading, college, or exercise guitar barre chord lol)

    - any tips how to get rid of stress?

    - do I need to use all of my energy for a day to be tired?

    - do you guys have a plan that work for yourself?

    thank you for read my struggle, and I really appreciate your answer if you guys had one, and sorry for my bad English. Thank you!
     
  2. Theseeker19

    Theseeker19 Fapstronaut

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    should I decrease the amount time of surfing porn and masturbation (stick to the plan) or just forcefully stop fap and watching porn?
    Answer: YES and Immediately

    how to get rid of sexual fantasy?
    Answer: By Keeping yourself Busy and aspiring (I'll Give You Some tips down below).

    is it possible while focusing to get rid this habbit, im doing some activites that can cause stress? (like get a job, online trading, college, or exercise guitar barre chord lol)
    Answer: Sure While Trying to get rid of this habit and as you do some activities you'll sometimes be stressed and a little bit anxious but at the end, it's gonna disappear (I'll provide you with a technique that will help you reduce that stress ).

    any tips how to get rid of stress?
    Answer: I'll provide you with a technique that will help you reduce that stress down below.

    do I need to use all of my energy for a day to be tired?
    Answer: No you don't need to do this just set a healthy purposeful routine that makes you feel you are making a progress towards a goal. Don't kill yourself with work just to use your energy instead be mindful and observant of your own thoughts and sensations.

    do you guys have a plan that work for yourself?
    Answer: Yes I do I'll share it with you down below.

    do I need a GF?
    Answer: I don't know :)
    -------------------------------------------------------

    how to get rid of sexual fantasy?
    Well. You first need to keep yourself busy by making progress towards a goal and socializing with good company like making new good friends that can really feel you are happy with them.
    Try to change your mindset by asking yourself this question and reminding yourself of this the pain and trust me they always force to forget the sexual fantasy.
    first question: is porn adding STH to my life or is it taking STH away?.

    reminding yourself: when you feel the urge to watch porn I just want you to go fast forward and see the feeling of disappointment the feeling of shame the feeling of low self-worth the feeling of utter-failure, then use the memory of what it will be like if I watch porn to water down the intensity in the head of the arousal.

    This works very well to handle the sexual fantasy.

    How to reduce Stress?
    whenever you have an intense emotional reaction just go and sit in a completely quiet place and observe the sensations and feelings and focus on them and as you keep focusing they will intensify so breath continuously in and out the nose and keep saying "I'm completely here with you now".
    when you feel you're present with your emotions and you want to know more about your emotions then ask yourself these questions. How do I feel? and name what is occurring within you. when did I last experience this exact feeling? and don't look for the answer let your being offers up the answer. when did I first experience this same feeling in my life? and don't look for the answer let your being offers up the answer.
    if nothing comes be patient with it. the most crucial part of this process is to trust it fully because it's like trusting yourself.

    do you guys have a plan that work for yourself?
    Yes, I have, by setting a good and healthy routine which is like this.
    1- wake up and just clean your bed.
    2- Meditate for 10 to 15 minutes.
    3- Eat a healthy breakfast.
    4- Go For a walk for 15 to 20 minutes and listen to a good podcast or calming music.
    5- Start Your day.
    6- Make sure while you are doing the previous steps you don't touch your phone to use the internet or play anything.


    These are some additional great habits you can adopt ASAP.
    1- Drink more water

    2- Read or listen to an audiobook for 15 minutes a day or even 10 minutes.

    3- work on a passion project (things that you really love).

    4- Journal (write your diary daily)

    5- quit social media

    That's it I hope you Really power through and Make sure that you change your underlying belief and say YES I CAN.
    GOOD LUCK
     
    Ogikubo and righthand like this.
  3. righthand

    righthand New Fapstronaut

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    man thankyou and sorry for late respond
     
  4. Anything is better than porn, but the reality is we eventually find ourselves in front of a computer, by ourselves, and then, with barely any effort we find ourselves back where we started. Doesn't matter if you jogged for hours, did weights, had great sex with a loving partner, and served meals to the homeless, etc. There you are and your mind is allowing you to begin your search. Who hasn't been there?
    So, yeah, begin changing your life. But unless you have a real strategy, your willpower and "keeping busy" will not save you.
    You need to talk to a professional to manage this addiction. This site sure helped me, but until I was able to deal with my feelings and behavior with a psychologist, I wasn't going anywhere. And believe me, every single day is still difficult, there's no denying that, but I urge, beg, and plead with you to get in touch with someone who can help you. It takes courage, but you will never regret it.
     

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