My first attempt at nofap went surprisingly well. I lasted 62 days but foolishly believed I had control over my addiction and could handle one or two sessions of PMO without consequences. My run came to an end at the start of the year. Since then I have went through periods of wanting to stop PMO and not been bothered as it was too hard. My longest run since then was 13 days. I thought I had got to grips with it but on a long sexually frustrating day I eventually caved and I wasn't even annoyed. The majority of my periods of abstinence lasted only 4-5 days. However, that lapse, after 13 days, lead to my worst PMO streak in months, which made me feel worse each time I did it. Finally, I realised that although there is an undeniable pleasure in PMO it is short lived but the guilt and shame and depression caused by not being able to control my own decisions lasts much longer and has ramifications on many aspects of my life. After this realisation I began my reboot once again and have overcome the 13 day mark. I know this sounds like I am getting back my control but I feel more vulnerable than ever and the last week has been a real challenge. Each night is a mental struggle between desire and will power, with each emotion pushing their agenda firmly in my mind. I really don't think I can fight this fight much longer and would be grateful to anyone who has had similar experiences and share their tips on how they handled them. Thanks.