Let me preface this by saying that, due to the way this presents itself, I have never abused, nor am I at risk for abusing, another living being. But that's besides the point. I'm a zoophile. I have fapped to videos, pictures, audio, and 3D models of animals. My only defense is that, again, due to the way it presents itself, I did not know I was fapping. It is an odd, fetish sort of thing. Things about animals were making me feel a certain way, but it never truly connected for a very long time that what I was doing was masturbation. And by the time I realized it, I was addicted to this. I've tried to rationalize it by saying I was a furry. But no, that's not the truth. I'm a zoophile. I really don't understand furries, and I'm worried that people like myself may cause harm to people understanding furry culture. If you're a furry and think I'm a self-hater, know that a lot of what triggered me was not anthro. Even if I never abuse another living thing, there is no justification for this. To justify this would be to open the floodgates to eventually validating abuse, crossing that line that must never be crossed. Also, this problem is contributing to me self isolating, having low self esteem, and everything else associated with porn addiction. I feel it is also affecting my brain in ways that ordinary porn addiction does not. I'm not entirely sure how, but people with odd fetishes can explain how that affects their view of everyday life. Last, and most importantly, now that I am aware of it, it goes against the morals of myself, the ones close to me, and of my religion. I wish to fix this and reconnect. I will find out a way to receive a Confession and Absolution ritual in my religion in order to seek purity from this. I want to be the person that those close to me think that I am. As of typing this (May 17, 2019), I am on, I believe, day 28, my highest streak. Ignore whatever my counter says. I'm doing well at this. I've found things that prevent the urges from even manifesting. I'm letting out my real emotions. I'm keeping my loved ones close. I'm spending every moment not at work or asleep improving every aspect of my life. I'm going to make it this time. Come some time, I'm going to be able to look at my problem as a thing of the past, and be able to be proud of the person I will then be.