I need to escape my relationship!

Hello Sense,

I am sorry to hear that you are stuck in such a troubling situation. I do not dare to give any advice on this topic but I think you could find some help in the link below. I agree with you that it seems that she certainly needs help. Also, have you thought about calling a suicidal prevention hotline? I am sure they are able to help you or point you into the right direction to find the information you need! Take care!

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

 

I think there is no easy way to do this, so just do it trying not to hurt her feelings as much as possible

 

Yes, it is very difficult situation, but do you want to sacrifice your life in order not to hurt her feelings (with some probable surcumstances)?

You know better, it’s difficult to say exactly what you should do , so it’s up to you.

 

Very sad situation, it must be extremely tough for you and you sound like a nice guy.
Unfortunately I can’t advise in a professional capacity, maybe id seek help and advice from my own doctor.

just remember you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own.

I would end it ASAP and avoid any type of contact by blocking her number etc do not get drawn into the guilt side of things.

I really wish you the best of luck, remember you are not responsible for her health or wellbeing

 

This world is full of selfishness and suffering.

Really, what do you think you can learn from her? How about the other way around? How would you have become if you had lived her life up to now? Also, have you considered that her intestinal health basically contributes to mental health?

If you are having trouble knowing what to do to improve anything and outside help is not available, i suggest you bring all the focus of the problems to her diet and intestinal health. It gives something fairly straightforward to fovus on and gives you a tangible goal. Look into probiotics. Find a way to convince her that her gut health will improve her life. In many ways this could be related if not the majority of the problem. She sounds a lot like me, i have eastern European blood and turned out that i was very sensitive to my undiscovered health problems. Addressing my physical health has been paramount to my mental wellness.

Not saying that you have to stay with her forever but see this as a challenge in patience and compassion. If you can find way to help her get back on her feet. This would prove to yourself that you truly are agood person and that you have the patience it takes to sustain a lifelong healthy relationship with somebody you actually do want to be with.

 

Not his problem to fix

 

Wow, soms replies are downright heartless. Clearly sone of you have never had any health problems. Long term, a chronic health issue deteriorates your mental health. Given the opportunity to regain health, im almost certain she would seem a totally renewed human.

Sure, its not "your" problem, but with that attitude nothing that wasnt directly caused by a person's actions is their problem. I think this is a short-sighted and ultimately dooming way to live with a world coming to so many heads of "other peoples problems". By now it should be more common knowledge that ignoring something problematic just because it isnt necessarily our responsibility is quickly destroying our entire world.

 

Health is a topic that is much overdue to bring to the table for all western countries. Many of us are in poor health and wealthiest country as we supposedly are, so many mentally ill and physically ill are barely living a functioning life, let alone contributing to society. Its sick how forgotten and disconnected this state of affairs is in the US. I have absolutely no resources available to me in my chronic illness and I am so lucky to have a family that at least takes care of my basic needs. So many folks don't have that.is it my fault that I am sick? In my opinion not at all.if we want to be technical my disease is the fault of some backwards national security priorities being carried out on a small island off the east coast. Technically I can say it's not my problem that some scientists in the 60s decided to research biological warfare without taking the right precautions. but it is my problem and it's the problem of hundreds of thousands of people now. How do we know where any particular "problem" begins or ends? If you came down with corona virus, would you just expect to be cared for? Is it your fault you got sick thus nobody should gives a fuck?

What kind of world do you want to be a part of? How you choose to act in your day to day life is an expression of the values you uphold. Not try to lecture the guy in this situation, but posing the question to everyone. You think its hard to deal with somebody with mental illness, what a pain in your healthy ass. You have your health, they don't. If you are not interested in helping others then be prepared to share the fate we are all headed for. Nobody will come out on top. The entire mass of our species is hurtling to a shared destination, guys. Why bother quitting porn if you dont care about anyone but yourself? Go right ahead and contribute to the materialism and spiritual decay. Whats the difference?

 

Douche

That is a pretty dangerous generalization. In my case, it is simply not true. I am female, I've been to the icu for attempted suicide. I survived because of a minor oversight on my part and i was found early enough.

 

You are right @kaia, having a disorder or sickness often is not the fault of a sick person. They get weight down with a tremendous burden to carry through life. Nobody says she is guilty or responsible for her behavior. @Sense wants to help her but is running out of options here. He obviously tried hard but realized he is stuck in a dead end. He sees how his partners mental stability gets worse and worse and also starts to see negative effects on his own mental health. I was caught in a toxic relationship myself in the past and I cannot tell you how much it wore me down. It pushed me even harder in addiction as before. I had a huge breakdown myself and needed therapy until I could find peace in myself again. In the end we are mainly responsible for ourselves. Sense reached out for help if someone had advice on how to deal with this situation, so this shows that he truly cares for her wellbeing.

Please do watch your words. While I completely can understand your point of view here and agree with you that this generalization is simply wrong, please do not attack others personally and do not insult them. We must allow all perspectives here but can use arguments to debilitate other perspectives!

Please be careful with such assumptions. While I do believe you want to help, we should stay within the boundries of our profession. Mental illnesses come in a variaty of different forms, what may be happens in one illness does not happen in another. Only a professional that has the time to talk and reflect a sick persons mental state is able to make such a diagnosis.

 

I highly protest your statement! We should care for one another. This is how a healthy society works! Health care, social benefits, first aid, anonymous helping groups like this community are based on caring for one another. I mean, if you don't care for others, why would you think we would care for you and why would you even be here? I for my part do care for everyone here - also for you - and happily be there for them and give advice.

To get to the point, this is exactly what I mean. It is hard to make a profile of a person based on written description from someone else. As long as you are not trained in the field of treating mental disorders you should not come to such conclusions. They are dangerous. Peace.

 

Leave or she'll destroy you. It's that simple.

 

@Sense, I think you are doing great brother! I can relate with your thoughts and worries. I think your attentions are truly noble! If you need someone to talk to you know where to find me. Take care.

 

D:

 

My apologies, i admit that my replies are coming from an emotionally charged perspective, but one that i felt was missing in light of some of the perspectives already provided. I appreciate the gentle reminder, @tavla , to be more reasonable in my delivery. Seriously, thank you.

Having re-read the thread a couple times, it is more obvious to me now that @Sense is taking the most intelligent course of action he can while still holding compassion for this woman. My previous posts were reactions to some of the replies, but in my current understanding of what @Sense has on his plate, his heart and mind are both working together to make healthy choices both for himself and the other person. I imagine it has been quite difficult and my sympathy goes out to you man. Thank you for the courage and kindness of your heart.