I Never Saw it Coming

Below you will find a reprint of a post to my blog from three years ago, followed by an update from last year.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

On Tuesday, October 27 at approximately 7:40 PM EST I was on the bicycle side of a hit-and-run bicycle-car crash. Note I am pointedly avoiding the use of the terms “accident” and “victim”.

I never saw it coming.

I was northbound on B Road, an industrial drive that has almost no traffic that time of day.

The two-lane paved road is straight as an arrow at that point and wide open with no trees or bushes near the shoulder to block the view. Even without my rear-view mirror, which I always wear on my riding glasses, I would have seen headlights coming up behind me; especially since the road was otherwise deserted. I have ridden that route literally 100’s of times before dawn and after sunset and I can easily detect the headlights from a vehicle approaching from the rear when it is still 100’s of yards back. I was riding near the gravel shoulder in the right-hand lane; following traffic law. As usual, I had two independent tail-lights: an “always on” red light mounted on my rear rack and a blinking red one mounted on the back of my helmet. I had a similar setup with white lights facing forward. I also had two rear facing reflectors; one on the back of my rack and another mounted on a swing-out arm that put the reflector about a foot and a half out to the left. My over-used joke to my friends is “I want to at least make an easy target”.

Suddenly I was in mid-air, flying through the darkness. I did not feel anything but I knew I had been hit. Everything moved in slow-motion. Years of experience taking hits in football and martial arts must have kicked in. I instinctively relaxed as I went down. I can still see the dark shape of the vehicle and hear the engine accelerating past me as I go down; just a dark shape with no taillights. In retrospect I realized the vehicle did not have its headlights on either. I don’t remember hitting the pavement. Based on my injuries; both elbows, left foot, left knee, right hip, lower back, and also a dented up bike helmet with the light broken off, I must have hit and rolled.

Now it was dead quiet. Just me lying in the dark on a deserted road. I got up on my elbows and crawled to the shoulder. Still on my knees, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket (here is where I could make a product endorsement for my cell phone case) and called Mrs. L. Next I called 911. The operator took some basic information and asked me to stay on the line while he contacted medical assistance and law enforcement.

I while I was waiting I looked around and saw my bike lying about 10 yards back up the road on the shoulder with its lights still on. I was glad as that would help people find me. I decided to check out my bike so I slowly tried standing up. Wow! I can stand. I walked over to my bike and removed the detachable headlight so I could use it as a flashlight.

About that time my son Jr drove up with his girlfriend, P, and Mrs. L in the car. Mrs. L came over and broke down sobbing into my arms as she hugged me. Seeing her so upset hurt more than anything else at the time. A few moments later G, the Small Town Police Officer on duty and also our neighbor, pulled up from the north just as the lights from the Emergency Unit became visible from the south.

G and the EMT’s seemed surprised and pleased to see me standing. Adrenalin surging through my bloodstream kept me alert, talkative and almost pain-free. The EMT’s asked if I wanted to be taken to the hospital. This is where my life-partner took over. Mrs. L told them, YES, I was without a doubt going to the Emergency Room and in addition she informed them which specific ER regardless of any additional cost. From the tone of her voice everyone at the scene understood there would be no questions regarding these directives.

So I stepped into the ambulance and they started taking my vitals. The ride to the hospital took about 20 minutes or so. I chatted with B in back while his partner drove. My pain level slowly increased as I sat quietly, but I was still feeling well enough to be hungry. I asked them if we could go through the drive-through at McDonalds on the way over. (No, against the rules, although they thought it was a good idea.)

Got wheeled into emergency and put into room 14. (Funny I remember the room number but I can’t remember the names of the hospital staff.) The nurse asked if I wanted anything. I asked for water and she said I couldn’t have water until I was evaluated. I realize this is E.R. protocol, but I was thirsty. I had been riding home from school and was about five minutes from a cold Bell’s Two-Hearted I.P.A. when I got hit. She asked me my pain level, which had increased in my estimation from 4 to 6. (My 6’s used to be 10’s before I had a kidney stone in the 90’s. That changed my entire pain scale but that’s another story.) She asked if I wanted some pain med’s. I asked I could take the med’s with some water. She said yes. I asked what she would do if I just drank the water without taking the pill. She brought me a small cup of water and said don’t tell.

Mrs. L got in touch with her girlfriend, J, who is a nurse and who I believe has worked as a consultant setting up emergency rooms for hospitals. She told Mrs. L that I should get my brain CAT- scanned so they did that. Tests came back negative. (ha ha yes I do have a brain you are so funny) They x-rayed my elbows and left knee since those were causing most of my pain at the time.

My knee was swelling up pretty good. They put me in a brace that kept my leg straight and prevented it from bending. To go along with the brace they set me up with a pair of crutches with instructions to keep the brace on except in bed at night and to not put any weight on my leg and to use the crutches until my orthopedic surgeon looked at it and gave me his O.K.

Back when I was young I never questioned any instructions given to me by someone wearing a white coat, but I’ve changed over the years. I now consider some of these instructions more as well-meaning suggestions designed to minimize their legal liability. First, I knew that using the crutches to take all the weight off my knee was a physical impossibility. Given the damage done to the tendons in my elbows, I could barely put any weight on my hands, let alone hold myself up with crutches. Second it would likely be at least a month before I could get in to see my orthopedic guy. However I dutifully held the crutches under my arms and faked putting pressure on them as I walked out of ER. When I got to the car I tossed the crutches in back and have not touched them since. I think we have three sets of them now. The brace came off for good the next morning.

It was raining when we stepped outside and so I waited under the covered entrance while Mrs. L fetched the car. It was raining and dark. Poor girl stepped in a hole in the blacktop parking lot and fell; fortunately without hurting too much more than her pride.

We went by Arby’s Drive-through and I ordered a large roast beef with Horsey sauce and a medium chocolate shake for the ride home. At home I finally got to have my Two-Hearted. I sat in my LazyBoy with ice on my knee (and now on my foot too) and sipped my beer.

I couldn’t relax, though. I was feeling more pain, physically, but that wasn’t all of it. I felt both incredibly thankful and incredibly angry at the same time. First I was amazed that I was not dead, or at least not gravely injured. I was angry because another human being had done this to me. Also I am not certain that the hit was unintentional. It is likely that someone was drunk, high, texting or some combination of those and had also forgotten to turn on his or her lights. It is possible that someone wanted to scare me by zooming by very close to me and misjudged the distance. In any event, the driver’s choice to leave me lying in the road, not knowing if I was dead or alive, was most likely a conscious decision. I learned later that G found pieces of side view mirror and an antenna strewn along for 50 yards past the point of impact. (G was later able to determine that the pieces of mirror came from a 2002 to 2007 Chevy Trailblazer.)

I am normally a heavy sleeper. About the only thing that wakes me at night is Mrs. L telling me loudly that I am snoring and need to roll ever … she tells me that she is not always successful. That night was different. Whenever I closed my eyes I was back flying through the air again. I was angry. I was frightened. I hardly slept at all. I went to see my doctor the next day for a script for more x-rays and for something to help me sleep. I ended up sleeping O.K. the next night without the drugs. I still woke up every time I moved but it was from physical pain and not from anxiety. (Mrs. L, unfortunately, had nightmares. I can’t help but think they were related to the crash.)

As I told my friends, the next day felt like the day after a heavy-duty football game. I expected the first and second days after the crash would most likely be the worst for pain and so I was mentally prepared for it. The response from my family and the community has been extremely gratifying and has helped dissipate my anger. I started getting calls and texts from my brothers while I was on the way to the hospital. Facebook posts, email, phone calls and in-person visits have filled yesterday and today. (B and J: Thanks for the visits, guys, and for the beer!). M, the local Chief of Police called me to say he was sorry to hear what happened and to assure me that they were doing all they could to find the perpetrator. I did not go into school yesterday or today. I contacted S, the student who was scheduled to present in my upper level Information Systems class, and she carried on the class without me. My friends and colleagues stepped up to take care of the rest of my responsibilities. I also made the local radio news. I’ve got a bone to pick with B, the afternoon D.J. He referred to me as “sixty-three year old Lucentio”. Why not “Local College Professor Lucentio”?

It is still pretty painful for me to move around, even to roll over in bed. I expect it will be some time before I am fully recovered but things are getting better. I know that the worst thing for me to do is to just sit. I did sleep in a bit this morning, but B, our Golden Retriever, let me know when it was time for me to get up and let her out. She had been lying up against my feet all night. Around 9:00 AM she sat up in bed, looked at me and gave a loud sigh.

I got up and let her out in the back. Then we went out front and walked across the street to our mailbox for my Wall Street Journal which she gently carried back inside. I gave her a doggie treat dipped in peanut butter for her reward and then filled her food and water bowls. I did some very gentle yoga. I listened to today’s music, prayer and Bible verse from Pray-As-You-Go, a web site run by Jesuits. I got my son’s bike out and rode around the block with B trotting next to me. Later I bundled up and walked with B on the leash the half-mile or so over to Mrs. L’s office to meet her for lunch. Did it hurt? Physically, yes. But I’m better off getting back into a routine and I’m happier for it.

Tomorrow I’ll be back at school. The wonders of the Internet allowed me to grade my students’ tests from home so I can go over the results with them in class tomorrow. As always, I will give out finger puppets to those who have earned A’s. I received a fresh supply just in time, including some themed for Halloween.

I plan to ride Jr’s bike to school tomorrow. It is easier for me to ride than it is to walk right now. I could drive or have Mrs. L drive me as she does not work on Friday’s. I would rather ride and enjoy the morning. I plan to stop along the way to take a picture of the skyline and post it to Facebook; something that I often do.

I will dedicate that photo to the person who hit me. He or she needs our prayers.

Lastly, as I have been cycling the roads around here for the past 20 years I have found the majority of drivers to be not only safe, but polite and friendly. To those of who wait patiently several car lengths behind me for an opportunity to pass and then give me the entire lane while passing, to those of you who stop an extra 10 yards back to let me cross in front of you, and those who wave or sound a friendly toot of the horn: Thank you.

Lucentio



Saturday October 28, 2017



Epilogue

Two years have passed since the crash. The event is no longer front and center in my mind but remains a significant event in my life. A few weeks after the crash I brought home a brand new Trek 920, paid for by our homeowner’s insurance. I didn’t know that it was covered but my friend R, who is also my insurance agent, heard about the crash and told Mrs. L when he saw her at church that I should file a claim. Called a “gravel bike”, with drop handlebars, hydraulic disc brakes, and racks front and rear, it is the ATV of bicycles. Able to handle paved roads, single-track and everything in-between, it comes in one color: Olive Drab. By far the best bike I have even owned, I use it so much that last summer I sold my carbon fiber road bike that had been gathering dust in the garage.

I still commute to school, usually three to five days a week. I try to stay more aware of my surroundings. I have six lights in total: two front, two rear and light strings wrapped in the spokes of each wheel for lateral visibility. I tend to stay more on bike paths and dirt roads and spend less time on the shoulders of paved streets. I send a text to Mrs. L each morning when I arrive at school so she doesn’t worry about me. The City of Our Small Town utilized a federal grant to put in a new bike path last year. The place where I was hit now has a wide paved path set apart from the road. I still occasionally make a sign of the cross in prayer for the driver when I pass by that spot. Occasionally people will ask me if the police were able to track down the perp, which is by now certainly a cold case.

In going over what I wrote two years ago, I am open to the idea that I had a near-death out-of-body experience. (I recommend Near Death in the ICU) The physical evidence indicates that I was hit in the back by the passenger-side mirror. G and P (Jr’s girlfriend at the time who is now, sadly, deceased) identified the type of vehicle, a Chevy Trailblazer, from the parts of the mirror at the scene. My rear wheel was crushed; probably caught in the wheel well or under the car. My physical injuries were consistent with me flying forward over my handlebars, landing face down in a superman pose and rolling.

However I distinctly remember looking down at the vehicle from a position well above and slightly behind it. There is no way that I could have physically been there. I have no recollection of being hit, just this view looking down at this dark vehicle below me. I do not remember hitting the ground; only becoming aware that I was lying on my back in the darkness looking up at the stars.

In the middle of my seventh decade here on this Earth; I’m beginning to come to terms with my mortality and increasingly recognize my spirituality as an inherent part of my existence. The crash moved me a giant step farther down that path to the point where “every day is a gift” actually means something to me.

Do I wish that it never happened? Has it changed me as a person? Has it allowed me to touch others in a way that I could not before? Interesting questions. A wise person once said it is not what happens to us in life but how we react.

The eternal questions remain. Why? Why am I alive? Why am I here? These questions have always been there; for you, me, and everyone. Events such as mine merely bring them to our attention.

So …

… why are you here?



Lucentio

 

My reaction is the only one that leaves me at peace. I could waste my life in anger and hatred or move on.