I Not Only Lack Confidence, but I Have Also Created a Financial Hole

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ThyArtofLust, Nov 14, 2019.

  1. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    Every return I make to NoFap, I always have a situation where I am either mentally lacking in some form of inner power, accompanied by strength and all other traits who are related to that of self-confidence. For the help, I have been receiving the long few months-I see a positive change, although I see no improvement-others close to me are beginning to notice a significant improvement. Yet, none the less, I see no change, and with this knowledge, I see nothing moving ahead. Meditation, Exercise, thinking positive, combined with good grooming habits is something I am getting used to doing again but isn't coming to me as quick as I'd like, I almost feel as if the process of this new personality is taking too long.

    For years I have been trying very hard to find employment, and I am pleased to say I now have a position in a good company with fixed pay, and a decent title placed upon my name which will help me progress through my youth all the way until my age of retirement. One problem with my finances.

    My mother has been saving money for me beginning at my birth, till the age of 19 (one year past). Unfortunately, as I was unemployed for a great number of years, I entered a negotiation with somebody and was conned out of quite a lot of money. Specifically £1,800, you can name it young stupidity. It was. The amount I had in full, was totalled at £4,800, leaving me with £3,000 left. The rule outlined, underlined, and placed in iron was that I am not meant to touch that money, it is reserved for buying my car and/or university.

    I did not think the amount missing from my savings would make a large difference for future ventures. Undoubtedly it was-so from there I went on small spending sprees stupidly enough, what a moron if I may say myself. After all of this, I stand at a grand total of £700 straight. My new work is located 40 minutes in distance from where I live, going through a very dangerous neighbourhood, I do not have enough money to take the bus and so I walk there. Day and night, with a 2.4 Mile strand of walking in very expensive dress shoes.

    Making situations much worse, I have a new driving instructor who charges £35 an hour and nice surprise today was for 1 hr and a half lesson provided me with a bill of £52. I still gain help from my mother until I receive my first paycheck... but another issue is at stray... I am being pushed to buy a car for £2,000... my first paycheck is at the end of December... my driving test is on the 13th of December... if I fail, I am definitely in trouble. Although I could by a car on Higher Purchase and get a loan from my job, from what they told me, they are willing to help with either school costs or anything their employees need who need financial aid.

    The only thing that will fail my driving test is my lack of confidence and I know this for certain as I have failed all of my tests in the past due to this reason. I could wait until the end of next month to buy a car leaving me with £1,700 (£500 is given to my mother) while asking for a loan and a HP deal on what-ever I end up buying.

    I hate all of these lies I have created, and I cannot tell my parents for the trust will dissipate.

    How can I fix or in some way resolve my financial dilemma? I am selling many of my personal items-I still need a fix for all of this.
     
  2. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    I can't imagine what kind of stress you're going through. Tighten your belt and stop buying things. Only food and water. You need to start clipping coupons and finding deals/sales. Eat very cheaply (rice and beans) until you build your savings back up. Unfortunately, you may need to cut down on training too because that requires a lot of food. What are you doing for rent? Depending on your circumstances, moving back with your parents may be necessary. It doesn't feel great (I did it once) but you need to build up your savings. When you say that you are pushed to buy a new car, what does that really mean? No one can make you do anything unless they use force. It's why Superman can't be deported even though he's an illegal alien (literally).
     
  3. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    Hi Dankest,

    I do live with my parents, but the amount of money I lack-there-of isn't the main issue. Its the lie I have created, lying to my mother (who hates lies, and finds them to be pure deceitful behaviour), while my step-father to be would find this also as a betrayal and would advise to have me out of the house. He has already lost respect for me due to a number of situations leaving me in a tight spot. The lie is killing me, as well as the act, and I can't do anything but earn it back
     
  4. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    You could forget the car, and just walk to work in more comfortable shoes, that would eliminate the need to pay for driving lessons or take the test. Walking is good for you after all. As you said, you have a job and income, so you will be able to buy a car eventually if you cut down on unneeded expenses. You could also attempt intermittent fasting to cut down on food costs, I'm not sure what the food situation is in your area, but try to cook for yourself and pack a lunch also.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2019
  5. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    I'm in a similar position. Due to my financial circumstances, I live with my parents. I have money in the bank but not a lot so can only apply for jobs within walking distance or take one off casual jobs in the city.

    As for your circumstance, I'm going to mention the dreaded b word - that being budget. I don't budget perfectly but it's better than before. One thing that started me off in a more better direction financially is reading a simple article by Andrea Dekker on why people don't budget. It really helped me understand why I got into the financial trouble and was a starting point for budgeting well. I find her blog helpful (even though I think it's aimed at mothers). She also has a No-Spending Challenge which I haven't done but maybe you'd want to consider it. Another thing to consider would be using a budger app. I'd recommend the app Emma - every day it sends a notification with your bank balance and if you are getting close to your budget limit it will send you a notification reminding you to slow down your spending.

    Also maybe you should quit driving lessons and just catch the bus until you've got a decent amount saved up. For university you could take out a student loan - most people have student loans except for people who have wealthy parents. Student loans in the UK aren't as scary as some people make them out to be.
     

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