Here is a comprehensive summary of the strategies in the video. I talk more in detail on each one in the vid but im going to try to include the most important aspects of each strategy. I am also going to try and list them in the order that I think is most effective, starting at the top:
Accountability - This one is easily the most effective. If your on this platform your probably already at a good starting place with this. but telling someone who is physically in your life is extremely helpful. I go into how to best approach that in the vid but just try and find someone you trust and if you have a partner you want to tell but don't know how to try and talk to a friend first so that you have some experience in knowing what you want to say and how you want to expose this to them. Ask your buddies or partner to check in on you once a week or so and try your best to be truthful with them. I understand the shame of this, and get that it's rlly hard to admit this addiction especially on a consistent basis.
Fleeing - If you feel an urge, leaving the room and going to another area is super effective. Especially if you go toward someone or go outside. Don't attempt to fight the urge right there where the temptation is. Leaving the area helps so much. Even if you have to get into the car and drive away it's better than relapsing.
Data + Understanding - Knowledge of what porn does to your brain is a very strong motivator for stopping. You get a greater understanding of why you biologically keep going back to porn or masturbation. Maybe its a coping mechanism for you or smthn. If you understand why youll have a greater understanding of how to stop. You'll understand when you're most likely to be triggered. Dr. Trish Leigh on Youtube is a fantastic source for understanding this. She studied neuroscience and porn addiction and makes quick 5-10 minute vids on how porn and masturbation affect you.
Don't Entertain Fantasies - Fantasies are big contributors to relapses. Work on cutting off your sexual thoughts. In the beginning of quitting this is really difficult but you get much better at it as you go. If you notice yourself fantasizing just practicing ending the thought. You will get better at it. Just have some patience with yourself as you learn to stop doing it but for me what it looks like now is just saying "no" in my mind when I notice a fantasy is invading my mind and it will go away.
List your Why's - Physically sit down and write on paper why you want to quit. Why are you quitting? Who are you quitting for? The reason this is helpful is becasue you want to use it when your feeling urges. When you start feeling urges your whys that you have been telling yourself takes a back seat and you give in. But when you've got a list you can look at then you won't forget any of your why's and you'll stay motivated to push past this immediate urge becasue you want the long term benefts more. My list included: I feelmore confident and happy, my relationships are richer, I don't feel depressed and lonely all the time.
Hobbies - While your healing your motivation skyrockets. Try new or existing hobbiesand activities to lower the chances of just sitting and thinking about acting out sexually. You can't quit this addiction cold turkey. You are pretty unexperienced in quitting this addiction and don't yet have all the tools you need to quit while your brain has years of experience in getting you to immediatly satisfy yourself. You need something to take the place of your addiction because your brain is so used to a certain high level of stimulation and is stronger than you at getting that stimulation. If you find something you like to do that's as close to that stimulation as you can get, your brain will start to associate enjoyment from that. It will stop thinking "we need porn to feel satisfied right now" to "We need to play basketball or play the guitar to satisfy this boredom." It takes some time at first because there arent many things that can compensate for this addiction but if you keep up with it you'll start tot replace it. Give it a month or two and youll be good to go.
Diet (optional) - I noticed sugar enhanced my urges. Sugar gives your brain a dopamine hit like porn does just a little more subtly and I think that was starting up this itch in my brain to push me into relapsing. Idk if this will be the same for everyone but eating wholer may help. Cutting sugar would be my main concern tho. Just for a month or so as your learning how to beat this addiction cuz u just want to minimize a potential relapse as much as possible. So just until you get some discipline going.
Remember to take it easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up as your trying to do these things and you can't or you relapse. That's part of the healing process. You begin to learn how to implement all these things effectivly and they start to build up in your routine and then suddenly you realize you have been abstaining for months. You'll get better at this just keep building it up. If you relapse don't be hard on yourself because that's part of the healing process. Try not to let it open the floodgates but don't be disheartened if it doesn't. This is a journey and youll get it down if you keep trying. I hope this helps.
