I PMO'd while drunk last night and now I feel the most alone I've ever felt

@grinding

Hello Man,

I am sorry to read this. I saw that porn you are talking about several times and it is strange fetish indeed. (not judging you but the thing in general...)

For me it always felt like it was tearing my soul apart...

You seem like a smart dude. I am sure you know that the opposite of addiction is connection.

I wonder if you would take some time, if you would manage to fix your relationship with your friends.

(I mean, connection always helps)

Also consider to leave out alcohol for time being. I mean, if you are the only sober guy in the club, it can sound kinda boring but you have a huge advantage against other guys...

(you can have meaningful conversation and you will not be considered as another drunk dude who is hitting on them)

You seem like a good, caring person. Maybe it is time to show it to other people.

God Bless!

 

Alcohol is a depressant, so leave it well alone if you are prone to depressive bouts.

 

You should make it a rule that in a worst case scenario, if you get too caught up and succumb to your urges, that you don't get off to your fetish. Why? Because humiliation type stuff will have a psychological effect on you similar to being with an abusive partner - them constantly putting you down might seem like just words at first, but after hearing it so many times you'll start to absorb and believe it. As a result it's no wonder you're feeling alone and not so good about yourself - because your fetish is encouraging you to feel that way.

You should start working now to heal this by actually doing a little of the opposite. If hearing people put you down constantly in porn has had a negative effect on you - why not do the complete opposite, find positive affirmation/hypnosis videos on YouTube where people are telling you how awesome/great/confident/attractive/funny/cool you are, and every time you get an urge to PMO, instead of going to PMO - go to said affirmation videos, relax, lay back, and let your mind be filled with their positive influence rather than the negative one of the humiliation stuff.

Also, avoid the alcohol - it actually has many of the same negatives as frequent ejaculation, and on top of that - inhibitions are lowered when drunk (and while hungover the next day too), and your logic goes out the window - so your ability to control your urges disappears. Take it from me - I managed a 90 day streak without much trouble, but recently reset today for the same reason (drinking the night before) - as my self control vanished. Don't put yourself in that sort of situation.

 

Grinding,
I don't normally give this advice, but at 17, you're driving by sexually tension. I wasn't addicted to porn at 17, but I masturbated a lot. Hell, I didn't need porn. So I would suggest you make avoiding porn at all cost because it is shaping your thoughts into unrealistic fantasies. You're not going to find very many healthy humiliating relationships. We can't always help what turns us on, but since you're not going to see that type of sex outside of porn, avoid it. Eventually, (maybe) you'll find a more realistic turn on. For example, years ago, I was turned on by anal sex. Although my wife allowed me to give it a try, it just wasn't something she enjoyed. Anal play, no problem, sticking my dick in, not so. As a joke, she had temporary tattoos placed on her left and right ass cheeks: Exit Only & Do Not Enter. Funny, but I got the point. Some dicks are made for anal no matter how slow and gentle you are. So I let that go. Today, would not even consider watch anal sex in porn. Just grew out of it. Found me something more realistic.

Back to you: There are women out there that will make your fantasy come true. But you're going to need to work your way into that type of relationship since it requires a shit load of trust. Build that trust and who knows, she may beat the shit out of you then lick your wounds.