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I prefer being single than being in a relantionship.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ruben J. Soto, Nov 30, 2017.

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  1. Peace Seeker

    Peace Seeker Fapstronaut

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    @..Anna.. Don't generalize, a man in thirties may not want to be in a relationship.
    @Ruben J. Soto You should be the only one taking decisions in your life. Take others' opinions into consideration, but don't let them sway you. Think for yourself. In the worst case, you won't have any regrets because it is something you decided for yourself.
    For the record, I dated previously and it was good, but it felt like I was wasting too much time fooling around and wasting time. I had to take her into consideration before doing anything. It was too much for me. I would be happier if I pursued my own hobbies/interests. My expenses shot up by quite a bit (at least 5 times) during the period. I saw my parents then I decided that don't want to become like my father. He had to manage all sorts of things. I am just not responsible enough to take care of a family. This love and affection that you'll get from your partner is just a bodily need like masturbation. I just love going solo in whatever I do. You won't have anybody to distract you. You'll have all the time you need. You can rest as much as you please. Last but not the least, you don't have to worry about anything. Your actions won't affect anybody else other than maybe your immediate family.
    To sum up I want my life to be simple, and nobody should suffer because of me if push comes to shove.
    This should help you take your decision.
     
    Hitto and EyesToSeeEarsToHear like this.
  2. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    That's funny, I don't see the point of dating but relationships are unavoidable - in the generic sense that there's some kind of relating going on all the time, rather than "we're going steady."

    Dating is largely symbolic, which is the part I find kind of meaningless. People will always want to make an impression, and only the gullible thinks that's all there is to a person. If you're keen and smart you'd observe someone when they don't know they are being observed to see what they're made of, and that is NOT something that happens on a date - but may be observable in a general collective context.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Peace Seeker

    Peace Seeker Fapstronaut

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    *Marriage is avoidable. Life long commitment is avoidable. Relationships with people in general is unavoidable.*
    Previously I used to feel that I needed to create an impression to win over a girl, needed to show that I'm superior as compared to others. Then I saw that this very attitude is leading mankind to its own doom. If you want examples just check out rising income inequality, modern feminism, the attitude of US at UN, China gaining control over Asia etc. Most major disheartening headlines can be related to this. I feel another war will definitely happen when inequality rises high enough sooner or later.
    I believe "Simple living, high thinking" should be the way of life.
    My parents ask me to marry because I will need somebody by my side when I grow old. I reply by saying that when I am a burden to this world, when I am frustrated because of my inability to do stuff with my own body, when I can't live on my own terms it is better being dead than alive. I am selfish, but maybe in an unconventional way.
     
    chaotic_sanity likes this.
  4. ..Anna..

    ..Anna.. Fapstronaut

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    @Peace Seeker, if you would be 34, 44 now, then your view of life could be called stable. But you are only 24 and you are totally on the same shelve as women at your age who say ''I will never have children'', and 95 % during the decade change mind. And that's what I was talking about in previous posts- about guys who at your age was thinking the same, but at their 30ties they are crying. Literally. It is not anymore enough with prostitutes and porn, how it was at their twenties. But yeah, exist rare cases, who don't want to have relationship in lifeterm. But for now you can know how you feel at current time. You can't know if in 10 years you really wont miss having a hug.
     
  5. Peace Seeker

    Peace Seeker Fapstronaut

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    @..Anna.. Sorry but I find it hard to believe this when it is coming from a woman in her 20s. It's not that I don't miss hugs. Frankly speaking I would love to be with my ex again. It's just that I also know that they are my bodily needs which I can control (similar to PMO). And I can use that time in a productive manner to do something which interests me and add some value to my own self. I want to learn and enjoy all the things that the world has to offer, develop myself, and maybe be of some use to mankind (if possible) before I die. But if I settle down my precious time will be wasted, and in the process I will only gain pleasure which simply sates my hormones and adds no value whatsoever. And considering the current laws going against married men, my views have been skewed further. It's like sacrificing one thing to achieve something else. Why should my hormones be the master of my mind?
    Anyways, we won't get anywhere arguing like this; hence let's just agree to disagree.
     
  6. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    Anna is right in that so many people that say "I don't want a family/kids/rel'n" change their minds that you can basically disregard those statements.... but you do have the advantage of being male in that a) You don't have a biological time bomb ticking in your gut. You can have kids at 40, 45 if you want, no problem. Women don't have that luxury. and b) Unlike women, your mating value increases as you age, especially if you look after yourself. I'm damn near 40, and have a body that puts 20 year old me (and 98% of other 20 year olds) to shame, enough $ to be set for life (no family to support helps $ stack up), etc.

    Thus if you're at 24, you have all the time in the world. Use it to build yourself up first, because if you do change your mind, as 4/5 dudes and 19/20 women will, raising kids will be FAR less stressful if you get shit together first. And if not, you will be so far ahead that you can retire years, possibly decades early.

    This BTW presents it's own problems. If you have a group of friends that you love and enjoy, know that even if you don't change your stance towards family as you age, the VAST majority of them WILL, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. And once they get mortgages and diapers, you'll basically never see them again.

    So be careful not to "check out". Humans need contact, both socially and physical. Thus you need to develop skills, financial, physical, and social, to a high degree because to remain single you'll constantly have to be making new friends and lovers as old ones drop off the face of the earth due to relationships and rug rats.
     
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  7. ..Anna..

    ..Anna.. Fapstronaut

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    @Peace Seeker, I don't speak my personal opinion, but haven't met any male at 30, 40 who is happy about the fact, that he never had a relationship. You are right about all the advantages, I am single also and during all the relationships I had, I didn't feel better than I feel being alone. But there is very huge likelihood, that after 30ies priorities an needs gonna change.
     
  8. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    Realism right here. Respect.
     
  9. When you are done with your studies what you have been prepared for since you were 6 or so and you got a decent job and the repetition starts every day and you just get older you will feel the unfilled space in your life that there is no one to cuddle with and build up a life. I'm an introvert and I prefer being with my dogs rather then with other people but I still think that relationships that based on strong emotions between 2 people are one of the most deeper and worth living things in life. Only my opinion!
     
  10. Peace Seeker

    Peace Seeker Fapstronaut

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    I don't want my life to be a repetition. I want to have my very own thing based on my hobbies. After 2-3 years of working, I will have my own small venture up and running where even if losses are incurred only I should be the one to suffer. A major reason why I don't want another one in my life is because I don't want somebody else to suffer when I am in the red.
     
  11. BradM6016

    BradM6016 Fapstronaut

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    I'm the same way man. Maybe it is just a phase but I'm going to suggest just creating the life you want right now and chasing after your dreams without distractions. The wrong women are distractions but the right women will support you.
     

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