I proposed to a girl but (open discussion)

Hi guys today is the 18th day of my reboot and I found a girl who is perfect to some extent,she only have some problems once I help her to rid of it ,she will be perfect and will be the girl of my dream

But I don't know why all I can think about is sexual thoughts as what if she refused the oral sex ?then i say to myself All i have to do is to begin the oral sex by myself to encourage her .

What if ....(sexual thoughts) although I'm romantic man and I wanna tell her romantic things and live the romantic life , and that's what i do to some extent in every time we call each other ,but when I try to think about our life after the marriage all I can think is sexual thoughts and fantasies which annoys me a lot , because I really admired her personality,mind and her soul .
,So I wanna Know why all of these thoughts come into my mind instead of the romantic things unlike what i was doing when I was single because when I was single all I was thinking about was romance and romantic things

Actually these sexual thoughts makes me anxious about what if she really.... (Any thought) ,i always say I'll find a solution in that time ,in addition to all of these thoughts makes me hate myself because all I think about is sex and that's unlike what i wanna.

İn addition to i think a lot about things that may destroy our relationship and that's also makes me afraid of losing her , in addition to we are in beginning of our relationship which makes me afraid of losing her.

Note: she told me that she's also admired with me

 

you're totally right,but i meant she has some medical conditions that cause a problems for herself and that makes me worried about her , that's all what i meant by problems , i know that i shouldn't change one's personality ,but husband and wife can change for each other ,don't worry brother i know that

you're right also here i can't force her or it will not be different from rape and ,but there's a tiny problem, let's say she refused, should i commit adultery ? definitely no ,so what should i do in that time and don't tell me to accept this fact and live with that for the rest of my life, i'll try to encourage her with ever possible way and i don't say i'll have an oral sex from the first time for us together it can be delayed for the second or third night or but not in the first night , actually in these times when i'm normal not in hornier state i say we can delay the sex for second day and only focus on romantic in the first time and if i felt she will want to have sex i'll do it , because i believe that husband and wife should meet each other needs , because they share the every thing together.

you're right because today i feel ,i'm normal and romantic to some extent

i really feel with that and when i was talking with her she told me ,that she don't know what she did in her life to deserve me ,so i replied to her that i said the same before and that's what i feel but i'm glad that i'm with her ,but it's still hard for me

i'm normally confident with my female friends and when i talk to her i talk normally ,but then i remember that i may said something wrong or she may misunderstand something that's makes me afraid.

note : we can't talk about any sexual thing until we got married ,actually we will get married after about a year and live in the same house after marriage by 6 or 7 months , or may be less than all this period it depends on when i can prepare the house where will live together,
i'll wait for your replays ,bro

 

I'm glad that I talked to you thanks bro