I put myself in danger today because I am addicted to PMO.

I am a 21 year old male and I am new to this nofap website. Call me "Les Brown." I have been masturbating since the age of 13. My addiction to porn began with simple images of women in lingerie, and it progressively advanced to "hardcore porn" (the type that your mother would be ashamed to see you watch).

I didn't really try quitting PMO until the age of 20 when I started experiencing PIED. The longest I have gone without PMO is one month, but my propensity to relapse resides in the fact that I am an only child, and I do not have anyone that I would consider a "friend." In other words, I have no one to talk with. I am not close with my parents, and I don't trust them enough to speak about PMO because I know they will share this with my other family members, and I don't want to be embarrassed.

Today is the last time I will engage in PMO. Here is why ...

I was driving home from the gym today and close to my neighborhood (1.5 mile away) there is only a one lane road. A sedan was tailgating me for four minutes, and it really pissed me off because I was driving the speed limit. I usually just ignore reckless drivers, but I have engaged in PMO three times in the past 24 hours, so I am extra irritable today. After the sedan passed me at a stop sign and flicked me off, I decided I would pursue the car and call the police. While chasing the car, I exceeded the speed limit, put myself in danger, and put other drivers on the road in danger. Eventually, after 90 seconds, I realized that I was simply being impulsive and it was due to the fact that I hated myself. I felt like I had to prove to myself that this driver was acting recklessly, when I simply ended up acting recklessly like him. PMO makes me anxious, as if everyone is judging me. I stopped chasing the car because I realized it wouldn't solve anything. The driver could have had a gun ... it wouldn't have been worth my life.

I will not engage in PMO anymore because I don't want to relinquish my self-control over thoughts and emotions. I don't want to be single all my life, depressed, easily irritated, and anxious in social environments. I want to beat this addiction, and I welcome any advice from you. I could benefit from someone to speak with. Thanks for reading about why I want to quit PMO.