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I quit

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SaiyanWarrior, Oct 25, 2020.

  1. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    I Quit. Its been more than 8 years and longest I can go is 1 week. Everything is ruined, my life, my job, my health, my dreams. Cannot commit suicide because who will take care of my mother. There's still a soft voice saying everything will be OK but its been too long and I can't continue anymore. My life is already very hard, I'm a loner, no friends, gf nothing. Just life's pressure and PMO. I'm done.
     
    Baowistop, Henryforward and Venkat19 like this.
  2. ss1111

    ss1111 Fapstronaut

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    Please don’t be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect. We are all here for each other, please feel free to talk!
     
  3. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    How bro ? It's been more than 8 years. I'm 27 fu***d up in every way. How can I carry on
     
  4. EliasGreen

    EliasGreen Fapstronaut

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    Dont quit. I myself struggled.
    Do you speak German? I came across a German book on Nofap. The author himself has a long history with Nofap (you can read it on his blog how he struggled) and based on the learnings he wrote a book on how to self discipline to reach Nofap success.He explains in general terms how to build up willpower and how to get through hard phases.
    You can download it here:

    https://www.amazon.de/dp/B07KFQ47K2

    It's only in German available I think, but nevertheless it's a good book. Maybe he will translate it to english one day.


    TL;DR: Read BOOKS. Gain KNOWLEDGE. Dont try it BLINDLY. Of course you will not succeed.
    Keep it up. Get ANGRY at yourself and continue. You are not an ADDICT. MAN UP! YOU CAN DO IT BRO!
     
    Mauritius and SaiyanWarrior like this.
  5. ss1111

    ss1111 Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there, don’t be so hard on yourself. There’s more to life then whatever you’ve already mentioned. Try seeking people to talk to, or a counsellor
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is not for eveyone. If instead of helping you with your problems it just creates new ones, you should quit.
     
    Gold Blood and CArT_Vader like this.
  7. Been going through my journey 20 years at 15. I am age 35 now. This process works. Ive had small and medium streaks and resets but i keep moving forward.

    Keep trying and dont give up on the best of yourself you can be.
     
  8. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. As some of the guys have already said; try not to be so hard on yourself. Quitting PMO is in no way easy, and while life can be tough, I would be hard pressed to believe that your life is ruined. You mention a soft voice telling you that everything will be OK, why not start by listening/believing that voice? What do you have to lose if you do?

    Beating PIED takes discipline and patience but most of all perseverance. If life is already hard, and you have no friends, no girlfriend and feel alone, what do you have to gain by quitting? At 27, what better time to carve out a new life for yourself and start afresh. PMO like any other habit cannot be tossed out of a window and forgotten about, it must be carefully coaxed down the stairs, one step at a time - unfortunately this takes time. You win if you don't quit.

    What is triggering you? What are the situations where you find yourself struggling the most? What do you think id preventing you from moving beyond the first 7 days?

    As the guys have already said, there are people here that are willing to listen (including myself), but it wouldn't hurt to seek out professional help and talk about how you feel.

    I hold mentoring sessions, please get in touch if you think it would help.
     
  9. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Problems like hocd, and some pressures of life, job, loneliness and excessive energy that I build at around 7 days. Can't get past it especially this hocd shit.
     
  10. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    It will only get worse then
     
  11. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    I keep trying and keep failing. All my focus is in PMO. I don't have any interest in anything. It all sucks.
     
  12. Life isn't easy brother. But ending it do you think all your problems will go away? That soft voice that's telling you it's going to be ok, that is the voice of God. Listen to him. He has a plan for your life. A good plan. This battle this struggle all of us here are fighting it with you bro. It's not easy we have all lost something. But there is so much to be gained. The hocd that will go away in time. You need to ask God what his plan is for you. Ask him when does this end. Get angry yell at him if you must. Just don't waste the gift you have been given of life. 27 the average lifespan is 80 years right you've still got well over 50 good years! But to soon to see what's on the other side by your own hand don't you think. Pick yourself up and start walking again. You can do this. I'll be praying for you.
     
    Knighthawk and SaiyanWarrior like this.
  13. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

    Analyse why you fail, then learn from it. It is the hardest thing that a man can accomplish, so that's why only a minority of people succeed (well I'm not really saying nofap will fix your life, but you get what I mean). Keep going!
     
  14. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much bro
     
    Knighthawk and Henryforward like this.
  15. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    It's lack of willpower and discipline. Nothing else
     
  16. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    1. HOCD
    The key to beating HOCD is remembering that a) its thoughts are aimed to distract you b) the thoughts are not real and do not belong to you. They are simply constructs of your mind that are passing through. By indulging them and giving them your attention you give them more power. With that being said, do not try to stop them, instead accept them for what they are (thoughts) and continue with your day. The more you ignore the urge to give attention to the thoughts, the weaker they will become. The idea is to starve them of your attention (energy) until they cease to exist. No matter what happens, do not allow your urges to get away from you. When you have an urge, notice it, identify it, recognise that it is HOCD and that it does not belong to you and move on. If you find the urge is strong and difficult to overcome, find an appropriate distraction to take your mind away from it.

    2.Loneliness
    Loneliness is a complicated emotional and mental experience. Numerous studies have shown that the pain of it registers in the brain in the same way as physical pain, making it a subject to be taken seriously. However in the same way HOCD thoughts do not belong to you, loneliness is a result of how you feel and is not fact. While this does not take away from the numbing pain loneliness brings, it means you can choose to do something about it.

    a) Try and start noticing when thoughts of loneliness arise, and when you notice them, get up and start taking action.

    b) When you do feel lonely, reach out to someone. Being lonely or single does not make you an outcast. Start looking at ways to cultivate new friendships whether that be on this forum, or in real life. You are 100% right, it may be scary and awkward, but even if it does turn into awkward conversation, WHO CARES. Nobody gets hurt and you keep things moving. It's about doing what is necessary for you.

    c) Instead of waiting for others to reach out to you, reach out to them. Initiate conversations with others, and if you're not sure how to then take the time to learn how to. Set yourself a goal of interacting with 1 new person a week. It can be anything from a simple 'Hi' to a full blown conversation. But make it a habit, to interact with a minimum of one new person per week.

    3. Excessive Energy
    It sounds like you already know the energy is a build up from your first 7 days of NoFap. Try to find a productive and stress-free activity to dispel the excess energy. Finding the motivation to go to the gym or for run at this stage of your reboot might be difficult; so try picking an activity that you usually enjoy, that is close by and most importantly will take your attention while using up the extra energy. Alternatively go somewhere public, where you no you cannot fap or even stay close to someone that will hold you accountable.

    4. Pressures of Life
    In terms of your life pressures, I don't know what's happening to advise you bro, but feel free to give details and we can discuss.

    Hope this helps.
     
  17. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    Hello Brother,

    I cannot improve any further on what MENTORR has written above, but I want to assure you that you're NOT alone.

    Loneliness is a massive trigger for me as well, and when I am feeling low, I want to act out just to take that bad feeling away.

    It works, a little too well, but problem is then we don't solve the issue we only prolong it and make worse.

    I was where you are not too long ago, just completely lost in the madness and very low in myself.

    Do you have telegram? Myself and a NoFap bro administer a NoFap recovery chat group that members are finding helpful.

    if you want more info let me know.

    It will get better, I promise, you sometimes have to reach a big low before it really hits you the importance of NoFap, It took me over ten years to truly "Get it", and I wish I could get those years back.
     
    SaiyanWarrior, Knighthawk and mentorr like this.
  18. SlimTeleGuy

    SlimTeleGuy Fapstronaut

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    @SaiyanWarrior you are not alone. Many have been where you are. You CAN improve your life. We all can. You can improve your mind as well. I'm on the journey to fixing my brain and dismantling every bullshit thought I have gained through my porn use and OCD. It its easily the HARDEST thing I have ever gone through. I suggest focusing on 1 battle at a time. Trying to tackle HOCD and keep off PMO is actually counterproductive. Think about it this way... Think about how much energy it takes to fight off porn urges. Now tack on fighting OCD thoughts, and now tack on depression, and loneliness. Its overwhelming. No one would win against those odds.

    Thats why many people suggest reanalyzing how you feel after 90 days of no PMO in regards to HOCD. Leave OCD to its own devices. I KNOW THIS IS A SCARY THOUGHT. But you CANNOT fix it by focusing energy on it. There's a fucked up thing about focus in general, where you can focus on not doing something so much, that the thing that you don't want to do stays in your mind by association.

    The better thing to do would be to stop focusing on your PMO, HOCD, depression or loneliness and take each day 1 at a time. Focus on anything else but porn and porn related things. Understand that Nofap.com is porn related. So you may have to cut nofap out of your vocabulary for a few days so you can get some rhythm. Then when you have a bit of a streak you can come back for more advice or support.

    Nofap isn't going to fix your life at the end of the day. If all you did after 90 days was not watch porn and not jack off, you'd probably wake up on day 90 more depressed that your problems were still there.

    We have more power to affect our feelings than we give ourselves credit for. Like @mentorr said, when you feel like shit or like an urge is coming, simply going outside can help refocus your mind. Do something similar that works for you. Stop reacting to thoughts and start taking positive action for your life.

    Here's an example. You wake up and the first thought in your head is a negative one. You get anxious immediately. What do you do? Lay there for 20 minutes trying to figure out why you had that thought? Pull out your phone and try to combat the thought with an image or video that will reassure you? Each of these things gives more power to that negative thought. It reinforces it. You are far better off getting up and making breakfast. Or getting in the shower and starting your day. Now having said all this. It is a lot easier said than done. A LOT. Good luck.
     
  19. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Thank you everyone for all your support. When I was a mid level addict of PMO I could feel the negative effects of pmo and why I shouldn't do it but now I've become so numb that I don't feel any side effects of pmo as I'm already living them. I lost my masculine vigor and aura, my brain power, health, I have joint pain, dopamine receptors fried and the list goes on. I was an athletic, strong and intelligent guy and now everything is lost. My d**k seems to lost its size and never gets fully erect. Can I become normal again ? Can I counter all of these side-effects I'm facing and become new again ? If yes then, this is my journal, I'll keep you guys updated and would love to hear about your journey too. I'm giving it a one more shot because I never give up and also because I've got amazing people like you with me. Let's start. Day 0
     
  20. DO THE FUCKING WORK. DON'T TOUCH YOUR DICK, DON'T LOOK AT PORN THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO. DON'T GIVE IN MAN EVEN IF YOU SPEND WEEKS CRYING IN BED YOU DON'T GIVE IN. THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH, YOU HAVE TO SUFFER BEFORE IT GETS BETTER. DON'T GIVE UP AND KEEP GOING. THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOUR LIFE MAN. STRUGGLING VALIANTLY IS A HUNDRED TIMES MORE COMMENDABLE THAN GIVING IN TO A WRETCHED LIFE.
     

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