I really am an addict

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by CThatch94, May 9, 2019.

  1. CThatch94

    CThatch94 Fapstronaut

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    I thought I would be free telling my Jiu jitsu coach and taekwondo master about my addiction. I felt good after telling them and they gave me a lot of life advice and there wisdom. Yesterday I was fighting the urges and I thought I succeed.
    When I got home I kept thinking of this girl at my work. I don't like her as a person at all she is such a B**** but I obviously am attracted to her sexually. When I got home I kept thinking of her even though I want nothing to do with her. The urge was so strong I almost gave in while in the shower. I looked down and my penis and I told it "You are not going to control my life anymore" The urge went away and then just a minute later it came back and I just started edging for about 30 seconds and then I stopped. I thought that would count as a win but it didn't. I felt sick to my stoach for the rest of the morning and right after I got done with my morning juijitsu class I "Told" myself I failed and just watched porn and jerked off. It didn't even feel good.
    I felt like a failure to both myself and to those I respect. I started a new day got up went to work felt like crap all night and then when I got done with work I got ready for morning jiu jitsu again did that came home and just being on the computer for 30 minutes I didn't even think about it and I just failed again.

    I am an addict. I need help getting control over my addiction.
     
    Kratos_GOW likes this.
  2. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    Hi there, setbacks are part of the process. You'll be just fine, give it some time, relax.
     
  3. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Good choices as people to tell. Wise choice.
    Just keep trying and learning.
     
  4. Use how that made you feel as motivation. Don't beat yourself up about it and dwell on it, just use it and move forward. If you already have a plan, think about what you said above and strengthen your plan to cover that situation.
    Don't give up.
     
    CThatch94 likes this.
  5. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    One of the keys to master the self-control needed for not touching yourself is to transmute your powerful sexual energy and urges into productive activities that boost your self-esteem, confidence and self-acceptance overall. Meditation, exercise, and socializing/interacting with people who share your interests and life-perspectives are just a few examples of ways you can transmute that energy.
    It took me 15-16 years of failed attempts (while being enslaved to my urges) before a life-changing event made me to push myself harder (over the barrier) so I finally could gain control over it.

    Then it took me over a year before I finally could start accepting myself for the first time in my life!
    That feeling alone was just as powerful and liberating as braking free from the chains and vicious cycle of PMO.
     
    CThatch94 and Miked132 like this.
  6. Cut off your access to P, no matter what it takes. Once you are out of denial, radical lifestyle change is how you beat this.

    I am cheering you on!
     
    CThatch94 likes this.
  7. I'll be honest, it is really difficult. Reaching out for help was very brave of you. Sometimes it feels like it's easier to give in than quit. But there is a difference between failing and quitting. Stay strong, you can do this.
     
    CThatch94 likes this.
  8. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

    ItsI alright boy, failure is a part of life. To understand success one must lose first. Now remember what is at stake here. Never forget this feeling ever again. This will keep you going.
     
    CThatch94 and SirErnest like this.

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