I REALLY HATE MYSELF . PLEASE HELP ! :(

Because we have looked at porn for so long it is in an unnatural, highly excited state of mind. We are addicted to being in this condition. If we feel anything else it feels uncomfortable and we feel the compulsion to get back into that unnatural comfort zone. Looking at porn, thinking about sex, fantasizing, and ogling stimulates the brain and put us back into that medicated state of mind.

I don't see a counter but I assume you don't have a very good streak going. The only think that will help is to get through your detox phase which will last a few weeks. You need to give your brain a break from being bathed in dopamine and opioid-like chemicals we release when we PMO. Right now your brain is like a dog that is barking all the time... he's anxious and stressed and is highly agitated. What would Cesar Milan recommend? Train that dog to be comfortable being in a calm, submissive state. We need to give our brain's a break from being overstimulated, allow it to return to neutral, and wait until you become comfortable with feeling normal.

Normally I wouldn't recommend doing Hard Mode and taking a break from sex but you are obviously out of balance right now. The possibility of having sex needs to be taken off the table. Then you need to start doing activities or hobbies that are not electronics-based. You need to buildup a toolkit of distraction methods. You need to discover what are you feeling underneath that you are trying to medicate with porn and sex. Address those problems or you will constantly feel the need to medicate yourself with porn/sex.

Once your brain settles down and you are addressing deeper problems then hopefully your paranoia, obsession, and jealousy will start to go away. As you detox you will develop qualities such as self-control, determination, mindfulness, and maturity. These qualities will make you the man your girlfriend deserves.

 

Detox phase is the first few weeks you stop PMOing. Your body continues to dump chemicals into your bloodstream even if you are not looking at porn. Your body goes through withdrawal and is extremely uncomfortable. It's the PMO equivalent of a drug withdrawal/detox. Once your body and mind start returning to normal then you will feel relief and progress being made.

 

Here's a link to an article on YBOP that describes and explains withdrawal symptoms.

You absolutely can recover from this. I was addicted for over 25 years and I was a multiple times a day addict. I tried over and over again and failed. It wasn't until I hit rock-bottom and addressed my problem as an addiction that I actually made progress. I thought I was going to die with this addiction still raging but I was able to change.

If you want to read my online journal you can read it here. If you want to read my success story which includes things I did to recover then you can read it here. I don't think any of us truly get killed but all of us are capable of regaining control of our lives. I believe that once you are shown the path then you will be able to walk it. It won't be easy but I think you're capable of making real change.

 

Agree completely change is possible.

It is not easy but the alternative is to live the rest of your life like this!

Take all of the pain and despair and use it as fuel to make yourself into the person you want to be! Take all of that energy and desperation for sex and use it to examine yourself and read as much as you can on here and
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com

We are capable of working through this, lean on us and have hope.