i really want to feel alive again

Hello all. my fellow brave folk who have chosen to rise to a challenge. and quit and addiction that plagues our lives.
For shame reasons i shall not be giving my real name. to all of you i am the english softie. or merlin (my dad wanted to name me merlin when i was born......i wish he won that argument).
Going on from the age of 13 (which seems to be the norm from what i have read) i have had a nasty habit of......well ya know. I blame my friend *insert name* for it. they did it and i got curious. and now here i am. at the age of 21. with a cold. feeling shit about my habit.
Now im at a crucial stage in my life where I am taking steps to improve upon it. healthier eating. less chippy's :L. Erm exercise ive got down with daily walks to a monument in my home town. Less impulse spending. As well as trying to be happy for a change.

I need help. because i dont think i can do it on my own. I also dont feel i can confide in friends or family. A wise man once said "it is sometimes easier to talk to strangers about our problems, rather than those who are close to is." (random fella i met on a train) Without sounding dramatic - This is quite possibly my last hope to be free and be able to live again - thankyou for reading

i hope you will welcome me with open arms and help me battle this insane habit.

 

currently what i try to do is limit or remove the temptation all together. like abstain from porn sites. avoid content that might get the "engine going" if you know what i mean. and just trying to stop my mind from going down that road all together.