I recently relapsed and got deeper into sissy hypnosis than ever. I need some advice.

[Kayraar]

So a little bit of background - I used to be into sissy porn, but the farthest I have initially taken it a couple of years back is anal stuff for two minutes with only visual hypno - since then, I took up NoFap, that seemed to help with a lot as I got a lot of my life back together, though the past few months have been stressful - I used to stress eat, but I tuned to jacking off to avoid it (and that does suck) - this gradually happened the past 9 months, started off with pictures - then porn - to trans porn and finally, sissy hypnos. Though this time, it hit me more intensely than ever; I'd get high in the balcony with lingerie (and a bathrobe over it) while listening to hypno. I'd get in the shower and start sucking a dildo, I've masturbated anally while listening to hypno too.



I hate it - mostly because I partly know why I'm doing it - I'd get in that mindset and pleasure myself as if I'd be pleasuring a girl (and if this does help I've been dry for a few years now). I don't know, it kills my self esteem, but it really turns me on too.



The last time getting out was so easy because I had never gone that far, but coming now its hitting harder than ever. Any advice or maybe a reminder on why I should stop (I know why, I only get emotionally attached to women, and I don't talk to them because of the low self esteem - its also a HUGE waste of time, I could've been doing other things instead)?

 

[Deleted Account]

So a little bit of background - I used to be into sissy porn, but the farthest I have initially taken it a couple of years back is anal stuff for two minutes with only visual hypno - since then, I took up NoFap, that seemed to help with a lot as I got a lot of my life back together, though the past few months have been stressful - I used to stress eat, but I tuned to jacking off to avoid it (and that does suck) - this gradually happened the past 9 months, started off with pictures - then porn - to trans porn and finally, sissy hypnos. Though this time, it hit me more intensely than ever; I'd get high in the balcony with lingerie (and a bathrobe over it) while listening to hypno. I'd get in the shower and start sucking a dildo, I've masturbated anally while listening to hypno too.



I hate it - mostly because I partly know why I'm doing it - I'd get in that mindset and pleasure myself as if I'd be pleasuring a girl (and if this does help I've been dry for a few years now). I don't know, it kills my self esteem, but it really turns me on too.



The last time getting out was so easy because I had never gone that far, but coming now its hitting harder than ever. Any advice or maybe a reminder on why I should stop (I know why, I only get emotionally attached to women, and I don't talk to them because of the low self esteem - its also a HUGE waste of time, I could've been doing other things instead)?

i also am addicted to sissy porn, the first step i did to fight it was throw all my toys out, dont keep any of it, if you cant do that than you are not ready to change, other than that i dont really know what to say, its really hard fighting it, especially the urge to shove something up your ass, for me the act is very feminine, and i have always been a very feminine dude, so its a way of expressing myself but sadly it is a very bad way of doing it.

 

[Kayraar]

i also am addicted to sissy porn, the first step i did to fight it was throw all my toys out, dont keep any of it, if you cant do that than you are not ready to change, other than that i dont really know what to say, its really hard fighting it, especially the urge to shove something up your ass, for me the act is very feminine, and i have always been a very feminine dude, so its a way of expressing myself but sadly it is a very bad way of doing it.

I actually did throw it all out yesterday night - its weird, with me it hasn't really been a way of expressing femininity lately, its more me projecting my own desires to myself since I haven't had a woman in a long time. I think that's where its getting really unhealthy for me.

 

[Deleted Account]

I actually did throw it all out yesterday night - its weird, with me it hasn't really been a way of expressing femininity lately, its more me projecting my own desires to myself since I haven't had a woman in a long time. I think that's where its getting really unhealthy for me.

my triggers are cucumbers, they always cause me to relapse because they substitute dildos, i try not to go to the store as often so i wont get triggered.

 

[Kayraar]

my triggers are cucumbers, they always cause me to relapse because they substitute dildos, i try not to go to the store as often so i wont get triggered.

Cucumbers are tough, another recent trigger I had is because I've been working out consistently for a year, I'm a lot more athletic and flexible, so naturally being able to do more physically piqued my curiosity - I'm not blaming working out, 'cause it has been helpful in so many ways, though this is clearly a mental thing I need to overcome

 

[Deleted Account]

Cucumbers are tough, another recent trigger I had is because I've been working out consistently for a year, I'm a lot more athletic and flexible, so naturally being able to do more physically piqued my curiosity - I'm not blaming working out, 'cause it has been helpful in so many ways, though this is clearly a mental thing I need to overcome

how has it piqued your curiosity?, i also have worked out a ton and my body has changed a lot, i also do yoga so i am very flexible.

 

[Kayraar]

how has it piqued your curiosity?, i also have worked out a ton and my body has changed a lot, i also do yoga so i am very flexible.

Mostly 'cause I could physically do things I wasn't able to do before, I could do a hand stand on the wall, I've become more flexible than ever and my stamina has increased big time.

 

[Deleted Account]

Mostly 'cause I could physically do things I wasn't able to do before, I could do a hand stand on the wall, I've become more flexible than ever and my stamina has increased big time.

so you mean like new sexual poses and stuff?.

 

[Kayraar]

so you mean like new sexual poses and stuff?.

Yepp exactly

 

[Deleted Account]

Yepp exactly

yah i had same problem with yoga, more flexibilty made me feel more feminine and i wear yoga pants a lot, so it kind of makes me want to relapse the more feminine stuff i do.

 

[Kayraar]

yah i had same problem with yoga, more flexibilty made me feel more feminine and i wear yoga pants a lot, so it kind of makes me want to relapse the more feminine stuff i do.

That's something that I'll need to figure out tbh, 'cause I don't want to and I shouldn't stop working out - at this point I should probably try to quit cold turkey and just take a cold shower or go for a walk whenever I feel the urge.

 

[Deleted Account]

That's something that I'll need to figure out tbh, 'cause I don't want to and I shouldn't stop working out - at this point I should probably try to quit cold turkey and just take a cold shower or go for a walk whenever I feel the urge.

yah do not stop working out, its 100% good for you, its just the porn making you associate it with something bad, just like yoga, it is not bad but when you are a porn addict your brain sexualizes it, cold showers are great btw, i take them daily and i absolutely love them, great for urges.

 

[ZenAF]

I used to watch ton's of sissy stuff too. Even tho I never got to that stage of wearing lingerie or buying a dildo (don't like sex toys in general ) but I did finger my but a few times. I never bought into it, but I did play with the fire, because it turned me on.
What I did figure out eventually was that it all came from a place of self-loathing. And it sounds like that's probably the case for you too. An unconscious part of myself hated me to some degree for not being who I could be. Anger over long time breeds hate, hate breeds resentment, and resentment breeds destruction.
Sissy hypno and in my case porn-addict brainwash hypno IS self-destruction and that part of me who's resentful knows that. You know it's bad, you know it fucks up your life. Imagine that you're so angry at someone that you just want to destroy him and you don't care if you die in the process. So it uses your lust to fuck you up. Not because it's some kind of demon or something, it's literally you being angry at you. Which also causes a lot of stress and you cope with that stress through porn. So it's a perfect vicious cycle.
By the way the people who make those sissy videos are in the deepest circle of those damned people. They know perfectly well that you're not gay or bi, but they also know that you have low self-esteem, just like they do and they want to pull you down with them.

It's good that you made those experiences with sissy porn, because now you've experienced a real manifestation of evil. I mean that technically as well as religiously. Most people never get to see real evil, you did. If you let it it will destroy you to the point where you don't recognize yourself and shut off that last piece of goodness inside of you that believes in you.

Running away from those thoughts and that sissy world doesn't help by the way. You have to understand through and through what it is and why you are attracted to it. Only then will you be able to break the illusion.

 

[Kayraar]

I used to watch ton's of sissy stuff too. Even tho I never got to that stage of wearing lingerie or buying a dildo (don't like sex toys in general ) but I did finger my but a few times. I never bought into it, but I did play with the fire, because it turned me on.
What I did figure out eventually was that it all came from a place of self-loathing. And it sounds like that's probably the case for you too. An unconscious part of myself hated me to some degree for not being who I could be. Anger over long time breeds hate, hate breeds resentment, and resentment breeds destruction.
Sissy hypno and in my case porn-addict brainwash hypno IS self-destruction and that part of me who's resentful knows that. You know it's bad, you know it fucks up your life. Imagine that you're so angry at someone that you just want to destroy him and you don't care if you die in the process. So it uses your lust to fuck you up. Not because it's some kind of demon or something, it's literally you being angry at you. Which also causes a lot of stress and you cope with that stress through porn. So it's a perfect vicious cycle.
By the way the people who make those sissy videos are in the deepest circle of those damned people. They know perfectly well that you're not gay or bi, but they also know that you have low self-esteem, just like they do and they want to pull you down with them.

It's good that you made those experiences with sissy porn, because now you've experienced a real manifestation of evil. I mean that technically as well as religiously. Most people never get to see real evil, you did. If you let it it will destroy you to the point where you don't recognize yourself and shut off that last piece of goodness inside of you that believes in you.

Running away from those thoughts and that sissy world doesn't help by the way. You have to understand through and through what it is and why you are attracted to it. Only then will you be able to break the illusion.

Well for me I know there are a few reasons why I'm doing this:

1) Outside of a few things, I'm straight up not very happy with what I've been doing with my own life (primarily on the professional end) - and as much as I know that getting out of this habit would help, I haven't fully figured out how yet.

2) One major reason why I'm not really happy with things is that while my self esteem and view of myself has improved over the past year, there is still that little part of self-loathing that's there, and with that manifested with a sense of loneliness - I approach it with the mindset of "I'll get into a horny woman's mindset then fuck myself as if I'd be fucking her"

3) I've worked out a lot recently, and while I know I shouldn't stop (nor do I want to), this added with relapsing into sissy porn really piqued my curiosity in terms of different positions and so on due to the fact that I'm stronger, faster, more athletic, more flexible and more agile.

At this point I think quitting cold turkey is the way to go, and if the urges hit then perhaps the best thing to do would be a cold shower and/or a walk outside. I know that this isn't me, and I've been acting that way lately because of how I'm feeling towards my professional life and essentially how I feel like a bit of a disappointment in that end.... So I suppose the good news is I'm understanding why I'm doing this, its now just a matter of stopping.

 

[Kayraar]

yah do not stop working out, its 100% good for you, its just the porn making you associate it with something bad, just like yoga, it is not bad but when you are a porn addict your brain sexualizes it, cold showers are great btw, i take them daily and i absolutely love them, great for urges.

That's what I'm thinking - I'm rationalizing it from both my own perspective and a porn addict's perspective - I need to get rid of that second perspective and the only way to do that is to fight my way out this damn thing.

 

[Deleted Account]

That's what I'm thinking - I'm rationalizing it from both my own perspective and a porn addict's perspective - I need to get rid of that second perspective and the only way to do that is to fight my way out this damn thing.

thats all we can do, struggle and survive, reboot and be free.

 

[BigOne79]

thats all we can do, struggle and survive, reboot and be free.

Can you please explain the definition of sissy hypno for me..?? I mean is this primarily watching gay porn or trans porn....

 

[Kayraar]

Can you please explain the definition of sissy hypno for me..?? I mean is this primarily watching gay porn or trans porn....

Primarily audio hypnosis, mostly associated with things like trigger words or phrases meant to make you feel like a girl while you play with yourself.

 

[ZenAF]

there is still that little part of self-loathing that's there

A little bit is enough to get you into that stuff. Also it's maybe only that little bit you're actually conscious of aka peak of the iceberg.

I approach it with the mindset of "I'll get into a horny woman's mindset then fuck myself as if I'd be fucking her"

It's impossible for you to get into the mindset of a woman. Only into the mindset of a feminine man. Not the same thing.

I've worked out a lot recently, and while I know I shouldn't stop (nor do I want to), this added with relapsing into sissy porn really piqued my curiosity in terms of different positions and so on due to the fact that I'm stronger, faster, more athletic, more flexible and more agile.

That's why it's called evil. It wants to corrupt the good parts of you. The messed up thing is that it's you doing it to yourself. It's kind of like a psychological tumor. You can't cut it away you have to heal it through understanding.

At this point I think quitting cold turkey is the way to go, and if the urges hit then perhaps the best thing to do would be a cold shower and/or a walk outside.

I disagree with that. I mean you shouldn't watch more of that stuff obviously, but cold turkey generally means just shut it away and pretend it doesn't exist. All you do is build up lots of pressure, because parts of you still wants it badly, and at some point you'll snap and relapse. That's what used to happen to me, that's what happens to most people who don't figure out why they still want porn and go cold turkey instead.
But you must find your own way, if you think it'll work, try it out.

Can you please explain the definition of sissy hypno for me..?? I mean is this primarily watching gay porn or trans porn....

Sissy hypnosis is basically an association game. They compile videos where they show hot women and then dicks and women sucking dicks in rapid succession. The audio is usually a domina talking who focuses your attention on the dick and makes you believe that your arousal (which comes from the women) actually comes from the dick. Then they combine the whole thing hot woman and dick by showing you transwomen. Thus slowly warping your sexual desires.
A tiny proportion of the guys who watch that stuff are simply gay/bi but didn't want to admit it, but most guys are turned on by this because they like female domination and because it's evil.

 

[chiyu]

...its more me projecting my own desires to myself since I haven't had a woman in a long time.

For what it's worth I think this is how I ended up wandering into this awful stuff myself. Over the last years, health reasons have pushed me into a socially isolated existence. I haven't had a girlfriend, or even a date, in so long that I think I was susceptible to the kind of circular female fantasizing involved. Problem was, even limited exposure to it started messing with my thought patterns which were left over after PMO sessions. I believe it's intentionally constructed this way, which is troubling to say the least. This stuff is very potent, more so than typical P, since it works at a deeper level of consciousness. Do not think you can casually experiment with it.