I relapsed after 260 days and I dont know what to do anymore

I've been in a very similar situation. I had 123 days, and then came illness, and I saw no point in continuing. You shouldn't repeat what I did afterwards...

I went so deeply into the addiction, as never. I've lost all my values. Fapping 2 - 3 hours a day was a norm. I've had days when I did it for 6 hours!

Finally after year and half I've been able to beat this streak. In the span of 1.5 years I haven't gone past 23 days mark. Of course I was stagnating in everything, was depressed and so on...

My advice would be: you haven't lost anything. These are just numbers. It doesn't matter at all if you have 0 or 200. What matters is how far you went, how much you've improved. If you think that you haven't improved in those 200 days, then porn is probably not your main enemy... Look, there are very successful people who doesn't do nofap... It's a good boost and all, but it's not all. There's way more to life than not masturbating. There are lies everywhere saying: don't fap and you'll magically get better... It doesn't even make sense. If you replace one addiction with other, nothing much will change. What matters is changing your overall lifestyle.

So fuck numbers, just rise and go for your dream. Don't trust every opinion presented to you... Numbers won't achieve your dreams, you will.

Last thing... When you lost all your motivation after relapse, you're probably doing something wrong (like I did). Do you have a dream? Do you have something worth chasing ? (except women lol)

Last last thing, you can be proud of yourself for what you did. Almost nobody here went so far... Take a time and appreciate all your hard work. Reflect on what progress you've made. Maybe you can take the relapse as a kickstart to something new. Failures are the best teachers.

 

Damn. I know that shitty numb feeling as well. I'm trying to leave my PMO habit. I didn't go outside today at all. That's how bad my social anxiety was. Luckily I got school to distract me.

 

You're not alone. I masturbated to porn for the first time in 6 months yesterday. The porn I saw yesterday was still stuck in my head today a little bit, but other than that I feel just as I felt before. I don't really feel any different cause of this one time. But there is a temptation to continue what I did yesterday. If I do it again today, then that will lead to something bad. I have this thing where I get kinda attached to the porn I ejaculated to, and then really want to see it again. That's the biggest struggle. I don't care about just randomly going and seeing porn, I just want to peek at the specific one. But what will I get from that? Nothing, I'll just leave the porn right away and I will be in the same situation I would be in if I just didn't go look at it. I would also negatively just prolong getting that porn out of my head. I just want to forget about all the porn I have ever seen and never go back.

 

If you ever want to get out of that numb feeling then not relapsing is a must. 260 days is a great achievement but you must keep going. A binge is the absolute worst as it will reset all your progress.

Its tough man especially after such a long time but i know you can do it, keep going and don;t give up!

 

Word! Well said

 

Bro ..260 days that's FUCKING awesome..one relapse doesn't end all your progress ..you just gotta keep going

 

If you feel that depressed also look at other areas of your life besides your addiction that you can improve. It's all connected.
Also if you want to stop relapsing, figure out why you still like porn so much and then change it.

 

I relapsed into PMO after about 5 years. That's why I joined this site. That was a year ago. It is slightly getting better and better. Do not forget, it is such an easy drug to obtain that is is easy to fall in it again, especially in weak moments.

It is hard man, especially the dissapointment.

 

You probably feel numb because you failed in a big transition of your life, of course its going to drain you; there was a lot riding on your change of character, our habits are who we are and when you relapsed, you relapsed into a habited response which was going to bring back all the psycho behavioral baggage too. But, there's light at the end of the tunnel, the very fact that this relapse effected you to such a large degree is because you are changing, but if this is as bad as you say then there really is only one course, you can't cheat, ever. There is a reason why alcoholics never cheat, because just one drink can re-activate the cycle all over again no matter how long its been. If you want this enough you can stop, but you have to want it enough, you need a strong enough reason to counteract it, to re-channel all that sexual energy because it doesn't go away, and that reason is something you have to discover for yourself.

 

Come on man, you went 260 days. You should be teaching others here!

 

It’s a lesson. You already know you are going to get back to 3 weeks nofap. you know it’s gonna happen again soon, so don’t be discouraged. Just remember how this feels and tell yourself you don’t ever wanna go back to that pit again