I relapsed for 1st time this year

Ellema · Feb 1, 2015

I will keep this short, i was sober for 35 days before I relapsed again today, I started off by looking at normal photos of women and then slightly erotic and more erotic and before i knew it i had relapsed( all this time i was in denial of what I was doing,telling my self it's okay I can keep looking as long as I won't act out physically) now I don't want to feel desperate , I really need hope more than anything at this time, ( so I can get the spirit to keep going) i think i have fallen hundreds of time before, I can't even keep count, but I must say this has not been an easy journey for me to go through...

heartpower · Feb 1, 2015

I can relate. It usually starts out withoit something "harmless" and then before you know it I'm collecting the stuff and it is all I can think about. It's difficult with the Internet because it is so easy, but you can do it, so long as you realize the risks you're taking and so long as you have suffered enough in your addiction to finally feel like you've had enough.

spartacus2000 · Feb 1, 2015

Just did the same too, in almost exactly the same way.

On the plus side, I didn't directly look at any porn.

On the downside, I did the same as you, started looking at pictures of women, this graduated into looking at videos of women (non-porn) on Youtube, then fapping off, almost like an old session I used to have with proper porn.

It hasn't been easy. Over the last week, I've almost noticed my balls increasing in size and literally my body wanted to have a release.

On to another month, I suppose.

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I relapsed for 1st time this year

Ellema Fapstronaut

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