I relapsed... I need advice

Focus on building your future, you are still young this time is better spent on yourself. having a girlfriend is a distraction and time lost and never get back with an ex girlfriend.

 

She lost the interest in you because you are a 'needy' boyfriend. Happened to me before, as it happened to a lot of guys when they encounter the first relationship and first breakup.

Losing someone that close is harvesting, I have had been down for almost six months, it was a vicious circle, I reflected a lot in that period over life, over my mistakes, over forgiving someone and forgiving yourself.

You probably believe wealth, health, relationships are in our control, they aren't. Your fortune can be taken within a second, a disease can hit you regardless your lifestyle, a person can leave you without any reason within your control.

What we can control it's our thoughts on things we can't control.

"Some things are within our control, others not." - Epictetus

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.

 

I understand your situation. I've been there and I feel you. I find it great that you started to improve yourself, but I don't think you have the correct motivation. Your health and happiness should depend on yourself, not on a significant other. You see, my friend, you will always be with yourself, but not necessarily with someone else, so, try that everything you do depends on yourself. That way, you will always keep striving to be the best that you can be. I strongly suggest to chase a potential significant other when you are comfortable on your own. It is tough, but possible.

 

Read no more mr. Nice guy by Dr. Glover

 

Exactly, that was my point. Sorry if it was weirdly worded, english is not my first language

 

its on Amazon for 12 bucks. It changed my life. A month ago I had the same problems you have. I read it and within 3 days met my current girlfriend, now I am in my first real relationship. I'm 37.

noFap is the foundation, and No More Mr. Nice Guy is the house. I am living very well today. If you don't read the book, at least keep with noFap.

 

After 11 years of marriage, she ripped my heart out of my chest, and my dreams out of my head. Lost health and wealth as well.

No. Woman. Is. Worth. To. Be. Put. On. Pedestal. Says I, two years almost after "the deed". Life truly goes on, the agony ends.

Today, at 37, I could get women 15 years younger than her, better looking - but flings are not my thing. Take care of yourself the best you can, control what you can control and leave the rest to God (if you believe in Him).

Get some redpill/MGTOW knowledge, but don't swallow it whole, without critical thinking. It will depress you - and let me tell you, they hit the nail in the head maybe 90% of the time but there are things they are wrong about and make their lives unnecessarily miserable, after the novelty wears off. They don't see the "unicorns" because they've decided they don't exist. This cult-like mindset, where they are the only ones that have seen the truth hurts them in the long run.

 

hey my friend i’m only 19, but i delved a bit into that redpill stuff and understand a lot of what they say, and also agree that some of them are much too negative.

Personally i think most women nowadays are not worth it. But i do believe unicorns exist. They do i’m sure of it, as i have met some. But i believe to truly find and get a unicorn, you must be a unicorn yourself. Or phrased differently, you must become worthy of getting a unicorn. So you must become your best self first and have strong morals, values, and be a man of character

Do you believe unicorns exist?

 

You should strive to be your best for yourself first - but I agree, any woman worth her weight in gold will be looking for such a man herself. Given how shallow men are today as well, it's not like there's an overabundance of strong, manly guys with strong principles and values. I've seen good women looking past "Chad" because of his character and choosing to rather stay alone. They want to get married, are smart, can cook and are virgins, looking for a man that will lead them - unashamedly. (As you say, most are not this way, sadly.)

As a man, I can tell you that staying a virgin until marriage was the best choice. The sex was mind-blowing at the right time. And even now, staying away from sex for almost two years (and for whatever time it will take) until I will be married again is a choice I am proud of. Deep down, such a stance makes people respect you, regardless of what they may say to your face.

So, my friend, to answer your question - they surely do. The also tend to rather be found in the church / volunteering for the downcats, rather than inhabiting the club every weekend. Really hot, dow-to-earth women still roam in the wilderness . Oh, and they are not attention-seekers...

 

Also, great 59 days you got there buddy! God, even though I've never been so deep into this porn thing like most I read fm around here, I surely wish I knew about it back when I was your age.What a blessing to have so much info and resources at your fingertips!

So, to continue the previous post: I am the guy that didn't get too fat (started working out again) at this age, never drank or smoked, and, aided by good genes, look way younger; can cook and take care of his clothes; takes a little bit of care of himself. I possess some "old world" skills and mentality. I am game for whatever needs to be done around the house; have a good degree, make nice money and took care for years of a business.

I have strong values, I am anything but a fair-weather Christian.

Of course I will be looking for a like-minded partner.

I've seen how much two people that love each other can get through (my grandparents, my parents). I am old-school when it comes to marriage, and have lost only the naivety of the "nice guy" but otherwise I am intact in all my principles.

I'm not yet where I want ti be but I will bounce back. Do the right thing, and most of the time you will be rewarded - if I may give you an advice. Work hard, and don't fall for the first woman - unless she is of noble character and beautiful enough that you really want to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of your life. Beauty fades in time, but character remains.

 

Aerobic exercise daily, also meditation. Read self-help books and the Success Stories forum here. Be active not passive.
You can do it.

 

dam bro i love your outlook. you are awesome. Thank you so much for advising me to wait till marriage. that’s what i want to do ideally, but it will be tough doing nofap as well. but i can do it!

I was actually having temptations to have meaningless sex with some girl a few days ago but it’s gone now

And you’re so right! My friend respects me a lot for my decision. i told my friend i had a girl who was sitting on top of me and asking if i was sure i didn’t want to have sex with her and i said no i can’t. my friend said he couldn’t believe i did that and held respect for me

Finally YES, a lot of the good ones i just realized are in church. There are some gorgeous and super sweet (not slutty) girls i met at summer church group. A bunch of college girls there are high quality

The unicorns exist. Thank you for the reply and i wish best of luck to you my friend

 

Way to go, man. You can surely do it. I cannot tell you what a satisfaction was when, after having stayed away from P for a long time, I experienced the wedding night. Best night of my life! At the end, I was feeling like a stud and the look in her eyes (along with the screams) told me I did well. I was expecting to finish fast, yet here I was having just given her the gift of the first orgasm. I was 9 feet tall.

You know, the "new punk" / rebel attitude today is doing the right thing. Trust me, when the dust settles, no one will regret not bedding more women...having not had one meaningful relationship ever, though? For sure.

Thank you for everything as well. Your attitude is a rare one. Not all girls in Church are what they seem to be, but you increase your odds at finding the right one. Western (and not only them...) Christians sometimes act too much like the world, but the real ones can be told apart. It just takes a little time.

 

You’re operating from a place of neediness. In my view, a quality woman is a bonus from success. You shouldn’t be looking for a woman to complete you. People are always acting like their SO was that person missing from their life. You attributed all those good qualities as being done by your ex when it was you who pushed that weight and read that book. Work on yourself because you are the prize.

 

technically the best advice ever...one of the books that each and every guy should read