I relapsed - multiple times

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Aaron1986, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. Aaron1986

    Aaron1986 Fapstronaut

    I really wanted to quit masturbation.
    Its been a habbit that's been going on since I was around 5 or 6 maybe. I am 31 now and as I look back at the life that I've lived so far, I feel like I can, in one way or the other, relate most of my current misseries to this morbid habbit that I developed as a child.

    I started my nofap journey early in december as I found myself in one of the lowest lows in my life. I started at a time when I would regularly masturbate about 2 to 3 times in a day eversince I can recall. I was so strongly motivated to get rid of this habbit that the first 7 or so days in NoFap went by swimmingly. And then on Day 8, I slipped not because I had an uncontrolable urge to do it but because I wasn't motivated enough to continue. I could have easily stopped myself and I know it. My mind just tricked me (I know that sounds psychotic) into believing that its no biggie in doing it once a week. And so I did. But unfortunately eversince, I have not been able to control myself and I have slipped back into the habbit.

    I feel the issue here is not that I lack self control but that I have somehow not grasped the seriousness of what I have done to myself over the past two decades. i could have been someone else probably in a healthy relationship with someone but instead I feel Ive made some permenant damages to my life.

    I feel concerned that there is a part of me that lets me occassionally believe that the whole nofap thing is not something to be serious enough. Its disturning and I wonder if others here have also face similar concerns.

    Please help.

    diogo431509 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. ParrotPerson

    ParrotPerson Fapstronaut

    Hey buddy. Don't worry, just keep to the program. I, too, have spent a huge part of my life in masturbation. The more I did it the worse I felt. Some days when I would "binge" and do it 7-8 times I felt very alone, unsatisfied, and wasted a good day I could have been productive, happy, and doing healthy fun things. I would try to stop and then after 4 or 5 days "reward" myself for good behavior, but end up back to my 2-3 times a day habit. Just focus on the goal and say "no; under no circumstances is this acceptable anymore. I'm in control now, and this ends now"

    Good luck my friend
    Aaron1986 and Deleted Account like this.
  3. Keep reading and researching about the seriousness of masturbation. Once you have been clean for a while you will notice benefits. Could take a long time since you have been addicted for a while.
    Aaron1986 and Deleted Account like this.
  4. diogo431509

    diogo431509 Fapstronaut

    You might have the tools to overcome it now. Use this as an experience. Very few people completed NoFap on their first try.
  5. I reckon it's just a matter of determining what system you need to set in place for your self to keep your urges at bay and to check your triggers so they don't cause you to relapse. No two guys have the same exact urges/triggers so you have to determine for your self what it is you need to do, to have a safety net set in place for yourself in order to prevent future relapses. I had to figure that out for me after having an 11 day streak before I relapsed 8 days ago.... I figured out where I went wrong and added aid in the form of porn blockers and downgrading electronics to keep my focus away from porn that caused me to relapse.....

    Hope this helps
    Keeping trying!:emoji_thumbsup:
    Aaron1986 likes this.

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