I have been trying nofap for about a year and a half and my longest streak is 39 days. Last week I fapped twice in one night because I was angry that I couldnt get erect during my first fap. And I felt like I need to have a "normal" fap before I could restart. This night I fapped to Youtube try on haul videos and I feel completely numb right now If you are someone who has been doing this for awhile and then fell of the wagon HARD like I did in March, I would NOT recommend "building up." Where you set yourself arbitrary goals and then fap after 21 days or whatever. Don't do that. Have any of you ever relapsed on purpose and then gone on a really long streak or quit forever? I just want so badly to be there for my parents and my friends but am worried I wont be able to shake the feelings of shame this time.