I relapsed today . . . Back to day 1

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Drew26, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. Drew26

    Drew26 Fapstronaut

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    Like I said in the title, I relapsed today. I masturbated once without porn but then I masturbated again with porn. Today was my eleventh day of hard mode but I have failed. I've decided to keep a daily update on here for personal accountability. This last time was my longest streak and first one since I've joined NoFap. Does anyone know if I have lost all of my progress from the last 11 days? Also, anyone willing to share how long it took them to have their first wet dream after trying to reboot? Thank you.
     
    _overcomer_ likes this.
  2. Well , get back on track. This time with more motivation.
    And btw,..why do you want to know how much it takes untill the first wet dream?
     
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  3. Drew26

    Drew26 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the encouragement. I want to know how long it took some people to have a wet dream because I feel as if that would help me go longer without fapping.
     
  4. Trust me. It's. .not that great. It took like a month to me...probably a bit more. Never really paid attention to this.
    But I wish there were no wet dreams either. This thing wont help that much when it comes to satisfaction, if thats what you are looking for.
     
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  5. Calculas

    Calculas Guest

  6. Calculusking

    Calculusking Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry. It takes a while until the mind learns how to say NO. You'll figure it out in no time. As for wet dreams, you seem to be making the same mistake I made. Wanting to have wet dreams is the best way to loose your streak. You should in fact hope that you don't get wet dreams. Sometimes you can't control it but I hope you get what I mean. After 10 days of reboot you don't get a wet dream so you star hoping for one. As a result you loose your sleep, and this causes frustration, leading to relapse. The very fact that you want wet dreams shows that you haven't got over the lust for getting off. Try pondering over that. Since you asked, My first wet dream was 30 days into a streak. The next day I relapsed. My next one came 10 days into a streak. The next day I relapsed again. My last one was 12 days into my current streak but it was more of a bed wetting thing rather than a "s**y" dream.I haven't had one since then.
    Try to get over the misplaced lust. That should be the ultimate aim anyway.
    Don't worry. These relapses must occur. Just don't give up.
    Finally, a quote to help you out (the one which kept me going so far)-
    Doing something once is only going to make it easier to do it again the next time-Harrisson Wells (Earth 2) from DC's Flash (season 3 episode 14). Keep this in mind the next time your "alter ego" tries to convince you to relapse.
    Peace.
     
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  7. Calculusking

    Calculusking Fapstronaut

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    Just to add, I know you think it would feel better having a wet dream "help" you along the way, but it won't. I have been through this phase. But don't take my word for it. You will come to that conclusion on your own anyway. There is this really cool book on porn de-addiction called The Porn circuit by Sam Black ( available for free on internet), where the author quotes someone else-You can't defeat an enemy that you embrace. I would have uploaded the file but it is too heavy. Try reading this book. It definitely helped me.
     
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  8. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    How about saying: "and I succeeded in getting to 11 days."

    No, you made important progress, your brain is storing it, it is not lost. 11 days are a big step forward and a gain.
    Please don't see this as a "failure". It is in fact a progress.



    On one side, this depends on age, physical health and physical activity.
    I also found it is a matter of experience and your inner approach. With some experience, you come to enjoy your streaks and then you don't have wet dreams. My biggest streaks were 35 days hard mode - the end was always due to PMO, not due to wet dreams.
     
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  9. _overcomer_

    _overcomer_ Fapstronaut

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    Wow 11 days, thats great. Just stand up and fight.

    Here is a nice challenge it is for the end of april...so 11days left! :)
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/challenge-who-will-win-until-the-end-of-april.99268/
     
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  10. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    I disagree. Addiction is not an "enemy". It is in fact a part of you.

    My biggest step forward happened when I embraced myself and accepted the addiction. At this moment, I suddenly made it to a 35 days hard mode leap.
     
    Drew26 likes this.
  11. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    @Drew26
    Yes, that's the right way to see it !
     
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  12. SelfControlIsTheGoal

    SelfControlIsTheGoal Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear you relapsed. But now you have a clean slate to build on and reach your goals :D
     
  13. Drew26

    Drew26 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, everyone for so much encouragement! It means a lot! And you're right, @SnowWhite, I did succeed in going 11 days. I will be sure to also check out the book that was recommended. An update: By the end of the day yesterday I had fapped 4 times. My thought process was, "I've already failed once - I'll just restart tomorrow." Well, tomorrow is here and I am trying so hard but it is difficult. I almost jacked off but then I decided to get on NoFap and see al of the encouragement. Today was a super busy and stressful day. I had 2 classes and in one of the classes, I had to do a 35-minute presentation. As soon as I was one I got back to my dorm and I was going to jack off to handle my stress. Thankfully I didn't. I still have the rest of the day but I will continue this for my benefit. Once again, the encouragement is surreal and I really am thankful!
     
    Calculusking likes this.
  14. Sorry about that, well even though you failed, you can get back up. Everyone has failed here at least one point.
     
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  15. Drew26

    Drew26 Fapstronaut

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    Another day, another update. I failed yesterday after I posted to this thread. Because of that it made me go back. I feel after relapsing it made my desire to fap the next day worse than normal. Today was really awful. I've been depressed and I skipped all of my classes and just slept. I've had no motivation to do anything but fap and sleep. Thankfully I have yet to fap but I just can't wait till I get back into this streak. I think the reason why I'm so depressed is because I fapped twice.
     
  16. Calculusking

    Calculusking Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry. The very fact that you are posting on a regular basis, in an honest manner, revealing sincerely whenever you relapse tells that you are really committed to de-addiction. Everyone has goes through relapses. Don't start skipping your classes for this. I am sure you will do fine in time.
    Good luck on your next streak.
    Peace
     
    Drew26 likes this.
  17. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Yup, you feel worse because every time you fap you're inducing that brain fog.
     
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  18. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Our brain is working in a loop. Some synapse outputs are connected backward to inputs. This is needed for creating short-term memory.

    Both binges as well as streaks are self-sustaining loops. It's like a wheel which can run forward or backward.

    You need a strong first impulse to brake the wheel down and turn it around. Once it has turned the direction (=streak), it needs regular gentle pushes to keep it running.
     
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  19. Drew26

    Drew26 Fapstronaut

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    Today was my fourth day. I'm still holding strong. Finals week is next week so I am getting ready for that and then I'm headed to the beach for a week. I'll be busy so hopefully I am kept distracted. The last few days have been super hard but I am persevering. The urges have been awful - especially in the morning and my dreams have been very sexual. I'm hoping I keep on keeping on.
     
  20. Michael Beets

    Michael Beets Fapstronaut

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    Regarding the wet dreams, I'm a 25 year old guy and have maybe had 2 wet dreams throughout my life (that I can remember). Now as of today of writing this post, I have been hit the 29/30 day mark. I have not had 1 wet dream, I might have come very close the 1 night as I dreamt about having s, and as I was waking I was lying on my stomach doing you can imagine what.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but it really depends on age and also varies from person to person (take me for example). I've seen some guys on this forum claiming to have had wet dreams within their first week of NoFap.