I Relapsed Today. (Trigger Warning)

So Today i woke up with no boner no urges nothing. I have been on a good streak trying to abstain from PMO. I had a very 54 day wish streak. But after i woke up and ate breakfast immediately had this random Porn thought about having sex with a Hot Blonde Milf and thats when the urges started. I tried to Distract myself by cleaning the house and watching Motivational videos but the thoughts would still be there and my boner was harder then ever. I thought it would go away after a good hour or 2. But no it just stayed with me the whole time. At one point it started hurting so i thought to myself, Well Ok just a few strokes and 1-2 mins of porn wouldnt hurt. Spoiler!! (it hurt me very bad) That 1-2 mins turned into 2 hours of watching porn and edging to different types of stuff. Into My 2 hour binge i started to lose the boner and i thought that. It had one away but no. After i turned the porn off and pulled my pants up i blew a load into my underwear. And Let Me Tell you it was the most HORRIBLE thing ever. I had worked for 2 hours+ trying not to Cum and then i suddenly came out of nowhere and it was terrible. There was no pleasure It didn't feel good at all it Felt bad in a way. I Realized that that session didn't really give me and pleasure the way it did when i was a hardcore porn addict masturbating every day. The Pleasure wasn't there anymore so i don't Know if thats a good sign that Porn isn't given me pleasure or if it is bad. But all in all i tapped and came and it was bad. Didn't feel anything just emptiness. So now I'm not sure what to do and how to approach the relapse. idk if i should use the relapse as a type of motivation so that i look back and never want that horrible session ever again. Im not sure but thats my relapse story from today. And Feedback would be great if you read this far LOL. I do need help i don't want Porn to abosbord be i want to live life. Please help...

 

Thanks For The Advice!!

 

Thank You!