I Relapsed...

Okay, I reset my counter a few days ago not because I had the urge to go and look at some nude pics for a few minutes. I did not PMO, but I did see some nude pictures because I was looking up things I shouldn't have. Now, I'm feeling like those 40 days I genuinely lasted was kind of affected today this morning. I was all alone, and on the computer on this forum and another forum I usually get on. Out of nowhere, I began to look up horny girls online, and I began to look at pics of girls who were horny and liked sexting. I saw a pic of a woman bending over in panties and I felt the urge so much at that moment. In my head I was about to explode and I did without even touching myself. I orgasm without even touching my Johnson. I relapsed and feel terrible, and now back to square one in my opinion. Not really square one, but I know this will affect me negatively, especially since I really want a relationship with an actual woman, but I just don't feel at all ready anymore like I had before the orgasm. It's crazy how I could just look at the picture of the woman and explode like I did...Guess it really needed to be let go because I felt like I was going to explode yesterday for no reason at all. So, I reset my counter to zero, and I'll see whether or not I'll binge over the next few days. I really don't want to though, but that O was pretty dangerous to my reboot. Man...

 

Thanks. I've been trying not to beat myself up about it because I know 40 days it really tough to do. Guess it just makes us all so paranoid about the effect the relapse will have on us. Again, thank you, and I know I have recovered and made some positive gains from the 40 days, but it's time to get back on the boat and quit this for good now. I can't say that I will quit for good because I've said that before, but what I do know is that I will Move Along. It's not over.

 

I will do my best during this restart. It was so weird how I gave in. Didn't feel like I would, but then the urge was so strong and I was hoping that a wet dream would give me a good release to help ease the urge; it helps me relieve it, at least. Thanks for your support.

 

Yeah, it's a huge disappointment. I've just relapsed again, and it was a binge this time. I feel like I've gone back into the hole, a lot. Hm...disappointed in myself. I shouldn't have broken my streak, and this chaser effect would have never happened. This thing is ruining my life, causing me so much Social Anxiety and depression. I know I can beat this, but my mind has to be focused. I will never give up, and I just have to start over again. I'm not going to say I won't relapse again, but I know that I will do my best to not do so. God bless me for the sins I have committed, and forgive me for being so weak and giving in to PMO. My counter is reset once again, but it's time to get back on track. I can do this; it's not over yet. Here I go.

 

Decided that I don't like the fact of counting days, which only will constantly remind me of my addiction and sins with porn and masturbation. This site has helped me a lot, especially in the beginning, but I feel that I have not put my complete Faith in Jesus Christ. God will help me beat this, but I don't need to be constantly reminded of how many days I have gone without PMO or days that I have failed. It will only make it harder for me, in my opinion; therefore, I'm leaving this site and putting my Faith solely in God. There is no other way, and I know I'll put this behind me. God bless all.