Yay for me for watching a show that had sex scenes and I didn't M or go looking for more (sarcasm). So what if I am doing better in not being triggered, what do my actions say to my SO? I have created such a selfish mindset that I'm all looking at me for how much work I have done. Right there see all the "I's" speaks of my heart and mind. There is this other wonderful, awesome person in my life that has been dragged into this shit storm, not of her free will. Yes, progress has been made but do I consider my SO and how she is healing from my destruction in her life? No, I didn't. Relapse isn't just about me but it's also about how my behaviors affect my SO and how she would see it through her eyes. If I fail to protect her and her heart then I have relapsed. What got us into this pit was a selfish pride and a self-centered heart. I start over again today in breaking down my heart and mind and to open my eyes to her heart and mind.