I suffer from premature ejaculation.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kaleb A, Dec 6, 2015.

  1. Kaleb A

    Kaleb A New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,

    I come here because i don't know what to do anymore regarding my PE. I've had this issue for as long as i can remember... I've used certain techniques such as; the squeeze technique, PC muscle work outs, breaks during sex when i feel i'm about to cum... Etc.. None of them have worked for me. I don't have an issue keeping an erection, but i last on average about 1-3 minutes and that's being generous. I'm physically fit and have great stamina, so i know that's not the issue.. It's like when i have sex my penis is overstimulated... It sucks that i whip out this big penis and women are disappointed minutes later when they realize that i ejaculated... It's very depressing. I've rebooted once for a month and a half and noticed extreme differences, but no difference in how long i last in bed. I relapsed, but i'm currently restarting my reboot as of today.
    Does a reboot help solve PE issues? Is there anyone who has had the same issue as me and succeeded in fixing it? Please help me for the love of god.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    Hi Kaleb.

    I can't really tell you much about PE because I'm a virgin myself but from reading in the forums, the general result is, that NoFap makes you more sensitive.
    I also remember reading once that physically fit/muscular guys tend to come faster due to higher testosterone while overweight guys need longer.
    Don't be so depressed about it. In a way cuming fast is actually a sign of youth, fertility and high testosterone.
     
    Hieroglyphics likes this.
  3. Kaleb A

    Kaleb A New Fapstronaut

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    Good for you on being a virgin, I'd hold onto that as long as you can. Even if that's the case, there are still men who are able to have good long sex with their partners. I wanna please the women as well.
    Thanks for your response.
     
  4. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

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    This isn't reboot related, but have you tried the technique making sure you had an orgasm prior to having sex (say for example an hour or two beforehand)? I see many men with PE and curiously they often fail to mention the technique that is most effective for me. Round 2 (and if not round 2 then round 3) gives the best shot at lasting a long time in my experience.
     
  5. Lumen

    Lumen Fapstronaut

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    Hello, Kaleb.
    I would like to tell you my story related to PE. First of all Disclaimer: my lifestyle isn't good example, and my methods are questionable, and might even be bad example for people who are trying to reboot, but because I have been reading quite a lot about sex related stuff (PE not exception), solving my own problems and have experience with PE, I think you could get something useful from me, or I might be able to help you deal with it. At least you would have a guy with same problem you can talk to, compare or share experience, if you want of course. So here I go.

    My life before sex.
    I started masturbating when I was about 10 years old. I remember at first it was hard to cum, and even took quite time of intense masturbation to orgasm. After few years porn came in to my life, I wasn't able to watch porn when I wanted, but I did it once I had a chance, but I wasn't able to masturbate while I was watching it. I loved it, and I loved masturbating, dreaming about girls, but most of all I loved orgasming. The process of masturbation itself wasn't so interesting as cumming was. Soon I realized I can cum 2-3 times a day, then after even more. I fucked every single pretty girl in my minds, and believe me, where i am from there are plenty of pretty girls. But that didn't bother me at all that time. I was hyperactive, tall, muscular guy with endurance and strength as a horse, perfect health, one of the best in any subject among my friends, my sex drive was nuclear. My D was erected maybe 30 % of the time. So you can guess, I was masturbating from maybe 13-14 y.o. once i had a chance and felt bored. Latter it became more as a habit than pleasant, because I was trying to wank myself even I didn't want to. Just to have that pleasant Orgasm.

    Here comes PE.
    When I was 17 I lost my virginity. Guess what. Firs time I came in to a condom, before even penetrating a girl. Then my PE problems kicked in. Couple days after we tried again. But I wasn't able to hold at all. And next time, and next and next, and so on, and with different girl and etc. It was really hard task for me even to penetrate without cumming. But basically once I started moving inside I just couldn't hold and came. It didn't matter how many times I tried, once I got my dick ready I lasted 10-30 seconds during sex. It counted with vaginal and anal sex. Oral and masturbation (girl doing for me) were normal. I was able to last quite long. I think it might be because I actually cared about how girl is feeling, and once I felt myself entering her, my minds exploded. It was like "omg, she want me to fuck her, she want me inside, she want me, I am making her pleasure, i am pleasing her, i am so happy fucking her, pleasure pleasure pleare". I was like a little doggy on len. So basically a single thought, single feeling about how she feels turned me on so much that I had to cum instantly. It lasted until 20-21 years old.

    How I overcame PE.
    At that time I was working student. Had money, PC for me alone, fast internet. So basically what I was doing whole the time, I was Gaming, heavy drinking, or masturbating while watching the porn. The difference from before was that I was able to combine Porn with masturbation, but I ejaculated less, because I was more interested with drinking and pc gaming than fapping and porn using. usually once a day or even less. But while fapping and watching porn I noticed one thing, that actually helped me overcome PE. The same slowing / stopping technique when you're about to cum, but from a bit different approach. Usually people suggest you to stop when you are about to cross the line ( the one that once you cross, you will not be able to stop ejaculation) then relax wait till sensation passes and keep going. But problem there remains. Because, when you stop before the line, you just delay your ejaculation for a little bit, you remain aroused same as before and once you start moving again, you cannot hold, you have to cum or stop again, and so on. a magic circle. What I did, I actually crossed the line, not too much, but enough to understand that sperm is about to shoot out and just after I crossed the line, felt my penis erect and tense max as it is possible, pulsing and pleasant feeling just getting stronger every moment, then I stopped everything, tensed my body, stretched down my penis skin and tried as hard as i could not to cum. Sometimes it took 1 try sometimes 2-3. but most of the time result was pretty good. I managed cum partly (how i call it). The trick was that i managed to keep my erection 90-100% the same, but i lost most of my sensation and some of my libido. Similar when you cum for real, but in much lower rates. Once i did it i was able to masturbate as fast and as hard as i wanted watching any kind of porn. Soon I applied it to sex. I think the secret behind it is that you actually cum, but you cum only partly, and you cum inside your bladder, without sperm leaking out, or just a very few small drops. You should read about kegel / pc muscle exercises for longer and better holding and be able to cum inside, and Injaculation or inner ejaculations about other thing.
    Then everything started to change. After long break without sex I found one girl, I didn't like her romantically, but she was best sex material for me that moment. I actually thought she was stupid, and I didn't respect her, i was mean to her and didn't even hide what I think about her. But I made manly bad boy impression who comes and takes w/e he wants and I got her to my bed pretty soon. I was scared that I am going to fail again. So I decided to play with her ass a bit, because she was OK with anal. I started slowly in spoons position (later i found out that this position is the best when you want to relax, test and control yourself), inch after inch, with some stops to relax and not to cum, it was hard at first, but soon i overcame it and really was having anal sex that i was able to control and I came when I wanted. I remember that moment I was so proud of myself, so happy, i felt like a real man, able to satisfy a woman, for a first time in my life. after that everything was moving to better sexual life. at first it was hard, had to spend more time to calm down, to concentrate, to get comfortable with sex and not to cum fast. In some positions (like doggy) i wasnt able to hold at first, but after some time and some experience i was able to have sex in any position without cumming as long as i wanted. from instaEjaculator i became macho man, pussy destroyer, I was like a robot, that lifted my ego up, gave me boost of Self confidence. I realized, that 2 things played a role in my changes.
    1. my mentioned slow/stop technique, that i applied to sex pretty well and after some time it worked better and better.
    2. my attitude changed. at first i was like a dog on food. I felt like i was getting a prize, that i was lucky when i had sex, i every thought about making pleasure for a girl made me cum, because i was too excited. and after i dealt with my PE problem my I felt like a man, i felt like a person who is actually giving, and giving even more for a woman, than getting from her. Sex became more like a sport. you are happy when you dive in with all "you" and enjoying results that are getting better and better. and i knew what i am capable of now. I felt like taking taking and fucking, than just waiting for a cookie like a kid. Ofc i was PMO too, but didnt want to point it out as a reason i was able to change something, because i believe you can do it without porn, and i am going to prove it after reboot.

    When PE and DE collide.
    This is the part I made a disclaimer for and i really wish that no1 will ever reach it. because it actually ends your life mentally, it breaks you. And to fix it, you actually need to reborn, and it horribly hard.
    So years passed, i enjoyed good sex, compliments from girls. but i was using PMO more and more, even after sex, even before sex, i needed more and more sharp feeling. Ofc at first my sexual performance lasted even more and more. but then suddenly ED kicked in. First I realized that i need to slow down with PMO, but was too addicted, i couldn't stop. 1 day was max for me. I started loosing my erection often and faster everytime. then Loss of libido followed. lost my girl, didnt have sex for some time while was doing PMO dramatically. Soon I started leaking sperm, caught pain and flamy sensation in my perineum and prostate. And when i tried having sex there were only two outcomes 1. ED or 2. PE. even with same girls I used to fuck until they begged me to stop. After that followed bunch of psychological problems. But that's a different story.

    Authors word, and best wishes :D
    I really hope that you will find motivation and time to read all of this text and found any use of it. It took me to write few hour more than i expected or had time to do it. so I didn't fix any grammar or logical mistakes later on. so i hope that wont make difficulty to understand my points. IF you have any question, want to talk, or even better share your experience during this difficult or successful time, feel free to PM me, or post here.
    Best wishes :)
     
    Kaleb A and yousuff like this.
  6. BlackZtype

    BlackZtype Fapstronaut

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    I have this issues, too. But I never had any sex with any woman, almost every time I masturbate, it won't hold more than 1 minute to jerk off. how embrrassing this issue is!
     
  7. Lumen

    Lumen Fapstronaut

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    you shouldn't trust on masturbation to much. when you masturbate your aim is to please yourself, during the sex your aim is to please your partner and then yourself, well at least it should be. unless you are selfish :D In addition sensation and feelings during the sex are different from masturbation. when masturbate you concentrate more on what you see and what you can imagine. and during the sex its more on what you feel, what you smell and what you touch. Moreover vagina isn't so tight you might imagine. you can usually make more force, more pressure and more speed on penis with hand than vagina. so imagine, that it might be even easier to hold in vagina, than in hand if you overcome other factors.
    and from my personal experience I can tell you, that i was able to cum in less than a minute, in less than a half minute during the masturbation event multiple times, but i was able to hold hour or more during the sex same day.
    So believe me when I tell you that you can't actually know if you have PE atm or not. You will know it after the sex :)
     
    BlackZtype and yousuff like this.
  8. Kaleb A

    Kaleb A New Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    I truly appreciate your intricate post and the time you spent on this post. I read everything and i will imminently try these techniques. I'm interested in talking about this with you in private because you sound like you had the same issue that i did at first and i want to solve this once and for all. I'll be PMing you. Thanks for your post i truly appreciate it!
    Best,
    Kaleb A
     
    Lumen likes this.

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