I think I am Flatlining

Hello,

Title pretty much sums it up. I have not watched pornographic material for 4 days. In September, I went 15 days without Porn while still Masturbating. Then I relapsed. After the relapse, I went 7 days without Porn and 2 of those days without masturbating. Relapsed again.

This time, I am going for 30 days no porn, no masturbation. The thing that is different this time, is I feel pretty much nothing. I was at the bar yesterday and there were a lot of very attractive girls, and I felt no libido whatsoever. My energy started off good, and as the night went on I stopped talking and being all social. I felt a little self conscious, but I used my breathing techniques to work through it. It was a fun night.

Anyways, I am starting to get the urge to watch porn or masturbate to "test" things out. Lol. There is nothing to test though, I know that this is a necessary part of my recovery. Going to have to endure this one.