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I think I fell in love, please help

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by sombrero23, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. sombrero23

    sombrero23 Fapstronaut

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    I desperately need advice. I fell in love with this girl from my class and I don't know what to do. It all happened very quickly, it's also strange because I know her for about 1.5 years but I got to know her better since a recent school trip that happened about 2 months ago.

    I know that I'm in love, because I can't stop thinking about her, and also I feel jealous when I know that she is by her male friend.

    But here's the problem, I think I might be deeply friendzoned already, because she doesn't seek any physical contact, we talked about our exs (stupid thing to do I know), and she also said during one of our meetings when the topic has moved to weddings, that "Someday you'll have a girlfriend who will want you to get married with her blah blah blah...". It's depressing really.

    I don't know what to do. I think I should tell her about this, but if she rejects me then we'll have to stay in this weird situation until the end of the school year. I don't want to lose contact with her, as she is currently the only person I can honestly and deeply talk to. But on the other hand, the feelings for her are killing me, and if she had rejected me, I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with her, because I would only suffer from the whole situation. My God, I have my graduation this year, and I shouldn't have problems like this in order to prepare well for the tests. Should I wait with resolving this until the graduation, or what? Please help!
     
  2. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hey!
    Which would be worse, telling her you'd like to hang out or kicking yourself and wondering "what if"?
     
  3. TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

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    Yo how are you doing sombrero?

    Firstly my dude trust me when I tell you this does not mean you are in love with this girl. She may be beautiful and have a great personality, but you haven't even experienced a romantic relationship with her. Right now you have the idea in your mind that you want to fall in love, however until you become her lover you can't truly fall in love with her.

    I can tell you are a good guy man, you just went about this wrong. Based off of what you say it is definitely clear that you are in the "friendzone". If you want to know how to get out it is very simple.
    1- Express to her you are interested in her romantically. (Start flirting with her for real and ask her on a date)
    2- See how she responds. (If she says yes or makes an excuse not to)
    3- React Accordingly. (If she is into you great, if she isn't then you need to have the guts to walk away)
    If you make it clear you have intentions to be with her romantically, and she rejects you then it's time to move on. I don't mean move on from the idea of you to being together and still be her friend. You don't want to be her friend, you want to be her lover. Once you make that clear to her what you want and have the courage to say, "Hey it's cool that you want to be just friends, but I am not into that. If you ever change your mind feel free to get in touch with me. Have a nice day." Then you must be able to walk away and mean it. It will suck, but at least you stuck to your guns. If she becomes interested in you down the line or is already interested when you walk away, then she will get in touch with you.

    Look how much this is eating you up dude. It is obvious you care about her in a romantic way, but does she know? You have to be willing to lose her in order to gain her. Does that make sense? I hope it does because I do want you to do what is right for you. Good luck bro!

    -TheBigBadWolf
     
  4. Yeah, you're getting friendzoned for sure bud. This has happened to me before, so don't beware all it means is you can focus your attention on getting to know another broad.
     
  5. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it definitely sounds like you're in the zone. Sorry.
     
  6. KayaKaiju

    KayaKaiju Fapstronaut

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    7.6 Billion humans on Earth.
    If one of them isn't interested in banging you, well...
    You don't have to be good at math.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Just a guy too

    Just a guy too Fapstronaut

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    You've been friend-zoned big time. Move on, withdraw ties. You have to do this to protect yourself. Women have no idea how painful it is to be friend-zoned and they don't seem to care. Been there, done that. The "be a man" YouTube videos all say the same thing. Drop the friendship and find a real girlfriend. Watch the anti-friend zone videos on YouTube to learn how to make sure this doesn't happen again. This way if you want the girl, you will have the girl.
     
  8. sombrero23

    sombrero23 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I almost lost hope and thought that this thread has gone to the void, but there are finally some replies.

    At first I thought that what you've written is a total bullshit, but after a while I realized that it isn't so stupid after all. I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

    I think you miss my point. If I was trying to get laid, I'd rather try to get a hook-up, and I'm not this type of a person. I'm rather looking for a consistent relationship.

    Now guys, I do realize that it's friend zone already, but I think the right decision will be to at least try. My previous girlfriend has friend-zoned me too, but I got out of it, so I know it's possible (It wasn't worth it though). This time I'll try it another way, I'll ask her out several times as you have advised me to, and I'll do my best to make this a date, not a friends meeting. I think I'll have to reduce the amount of time texting with her, so I don't look like a bff who is there always for her. If you have any other advice for me, feel free to write it down
     
  9. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    That's not true that women don't care they get objectified and ranked and compared to other women their whole lives and in some instances most guys including myself weren't assertive enough or confident to express are attraction for a girl so we took the being friends route and then dumped all our feelings on to the woman when we can't take it anymore it is very needy and weak selfish behavior to do things for others just to get a desired reaction you pretend to be friendly nice and over accommodating in hopes she will sleep with you are become your girlfriend life does not work like that it's better to never give off the friendship vibe if you never intended to be friends with the girl but if you hang out with here being friends in mind and things change that is different stop seeking approval from women and others and start loving and accepting yourself we all are capable of this pmo has made us all bitter tainted and fearful just keep on abstaining and live in abundance not scarcity I'm struggling with this but I'm getting better each day
     
  10. ContinueFight

    ContinueFight Fapstronaut

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    About reducing the amount of texting: Instead of just artificially reducing I'd recommend doing something exciting, try a new hobby, make yourself more interesting than you're now (not saying that you arent interesting already), learn something new, thats how you reduce the time texting, by keeping yourself occupied and then you could even tell her about your new habit or whatever
     
    Hitto likes this.
  11. Are you 100% sure it's love? Not infatuation? Or a crush? Not lust? Sometimes our minds will convince us that we love someone because we're lonely or for other reasons.

    Anyways I don't think hiding your feelings is good for you. Don't hold too much expectation on this woman. Tell her you have feelings for her, if she accepts then good. If she rejects or friendzones you then you can move on and find someone better who won't waste your time and play with your emotions. There are millions of good women in this world, don't waste your time for someone who won't acknowledge you.

    Ask her on a date to dinner. Try to bond with her. Judging by how she was telling you there are girls who would marry you and stuff might be a sign that she just really has no interest.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  12. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    I was in this same situation although I don't think we were as close. I fell in love with a girl as graduation was approaching but didn't want to mess things up with her. I ended up working up the courage to ask her out. She said no but was really cool about it. I have no regrets even she said no. I think if you really like her, the only option is to take that leap of faith and tell her how you feel.
     
    pranav02 and ContinueFight like this.
  13. sombrero23

    sombrero23 Fapstronaut

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    Nevermind folks, she's hanging out with another guy. Thanks for the help though
     
  14. sombrero23

    sombrero23 Fapstronaut

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    I'm feeling pretty devastated though, I thought we had a chance judging how deeply we were able to talk. This guy is very silent and insecure, I don't know what is wrong with me. Depression is back
     
  15. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Let go my friend or be dragged this will pass you can't experience pain without joy feeel your feelings fully and move on do something that gives you purpose and drive everyday so you will have things going for you because always wanting and desiring is suffering
     
  16. Developer007

    Developer007 Fapstronaut

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    Neil Strauss, I give you this name. Find his advice in youtube , google. Having any girl is not an issue anymore.
     
  17. Ace12

    Ace12 Fapstronaut

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    It won't seem like it now but things get better. Don't dwell on it too much man, trust me. I had a similar situation a couple years back but when I went into a depressed state I missed out on an amazing girl who really liked me due to me being stuck in that state. If you stay stuck in the past, you will miss the future. I know it isn't something you probably want to hear right now but there is an amazing girl out there waiting to meet you.
     
  18. SuperLulox

    SuperLulox Fapstronaut

    Hey what's up?
    I've been reading some of the comments on this thread and I have to say, I deeply disagree. Till not too long ago I was dating a girl, and before that we were friends, and she told me about some guys she was with, and I told her about my experiences too. We hung out in my house, we went for drinks a couple of times (all of it being friends) and eventually one day we kissed.
    There's no such thing as the friendzone, that's just a place you put yourself in couse of fear. Believe me I used to think like that too, but life has proven me wrong many times.
    My advice: relax, you don't love her, you feel really attracted, and if you make a move and she says no, it ain't the end of the world. Try letting her know that you are interested, you don't have to be super blunt about it (although you could). Girls love to flirt, and believe it or not, you do too.
    Go get her tiger
     
    The Wrestler and Hitto like this.
  19. If you don't ask her, someone else will.

    And trust me the pain of seeing her with someone else, without you having asked her out yourself is wayyyyy greater than the pain of being rejected.

    Be confident, just tell her you like her and see what happens.
     
  20. Are they dating for sure? Or just hanging out like friends?

    You said you used to hang out with her too...
     

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