I think I just found purpose in my life...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by DonDraper, Nov 26, 2016.

  1. DonDraper

    DonDraper Fapstronaut

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    This entire year, I've had this empty feeling in my body. My mind and body brought up a very important question and it was:

    "What is the point of doing all this if you aren't happy?"

    What a powerful question to ponder over? It meant that everything I was doing was irrelevant or had no significance. This emptiness, carried with me throughout the year has affected all areas of my life and made me retreat into my PMO habits as well as general depression. I noticed my academics fall apart, I noticed myself drift away from everyone, I noticed that I just withdrew from life.

    Until, I realized something very important...

    My mom always wants me to pray with her in the nights. I hate this because it's just a waste of time for me. I sat down as usual and let my mind wander until I noticed she started crying for me. She felt a deep sadness for me for some strange reason. She looked at me and said,

    "I genuinely care about you and want you to be happy. We came from nothing and we invested so much into you. We want you to succeed, not because we value you but we want you to be happy and someday have a happy family of your own. All I ask for you is to care for us and make the world a better place."

    For the first time in my life, someone actually said they cared about me. Bear in mind I'm a victim of child abuse by my own mother, so the hear her say that made me...yeah I don't know what to say...

    I started sobbing in my room later that night and I finally realized something very important about my purpose in life. Here goes:

    My purpose in life is to leave the world a better place than when I came into it.

    It was a burst of colors but it finally hit me and I could feel my "soul" fill up. I think I can leave my PMO behind now, I think I can leave all those destroyed relationships behind now, I think I have the motivation to study hard and fulfill my dreams as a medical doctor. I realized that I am not doing all this for the money or for myself - those don't grant happiness. I'm doing this so that future generations can have a foundation to build on. I'm a son of two immigrant parents who want their child to succeed in America. I'm not doing this for myself, I'm doing this for others and I'm making the world a better place. It's time for me to stop being selfish, I've been selfish all my life.

    This I believe is a significant step for me to move forward. It was what I've been searching for a long time. With this newfound motivation to basically live, I can stop dwelling on the past. For the first time in my life, I don't feel lonely anymore. The mother that abused me apologized as a child. With all the closure one could want, I think I can move on.

    tl;dr: I found purpose in my life after all these years. I used porn and masturbation to dumb these feelings down, but I think I found a way to live. I now understand the purpose of my existence and it gives me the motivation to move forward.




    Question for all rebooters: What is your purpose? If you don't have one finding one will help you immensely.
     
    Evo 2.0, Agoodguy, I Free I and 3 others like this.
  2. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    Right ON man! That sounds like a huge revelation. I think for me, right now it's just to be part of this community and to encourage everyone focused on the same goal. Whatever peoples purpose is I know when I support them in their reboot I'll be supporting that. I'm not sure I'd want to get into it in a lot of detail personally because this is kind of an anonymous thing, but for me a lot of it is about a no bullshit kind of support. There's too much bullshit (but positive bullshit) based self-help out there and I think I want to help be part of a community and movement that is solid and concrete that way.
     
    I Free I and DonDraper like this.
  3. DonDraper

    DonDraper Fapstronaut

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    That's really admirable of you. This website has changed my life so much. There's something magical about this collective community that has the potential to change everyone's lives. Lives we will never directly observe but behind a screen.

    A butterfly effect isn't it?
     
    tout ça pour ça and mcrcvrng like this.
  4. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    Hey DonDraper.

    Reading your story I thought that it's difficult to understand your motivation and why it is so empowering to you. Maybe because it's a personal thing and it should matter for you the most. Plus, I don't see how a dramatic and vague story will give you motivation to not let your life drift away, but I don't need to understand it. Whatever feels good you should seek it.

    One part I could relate, I gave up on life two years ago, when I started playing games "professionaly" when I tried to get a grasp on a life of my own alone and failed, and asked if my parents would accept me back.

    My purpose is my career, some financial success to some extent, now that I gave up on having a relationship and I think it's too late for me. And even if it's not, I just want to get out of this misery which made me feel like I worth nothing for years.
     
  5. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Growth Is Beautiful .

    this website, along with other things and my personal thoughts, helped to show me a different perspective on life itself . I appreciate everything and everyone .
     
    Dr. Jekyll likes this.
  6. DonDraper

    DonDraper Fapstronaut

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    Yeah sorry, I left out a lot of details because I didn't want to bore my fellow rebooters.

    Basically:

    >Huge PMO and MO addiction
    >Studied all the time and thought I would be happy with good grades.
    >Turns out I wasn't and I kept getting rejected with girls.
    >Turned all my friends and family away.
    >Isolated myself.
    >Started to question whether there was a purpose to all this and why me.
    >Finally found out a reason as to what I do.
    >Continue on not worrying about questions like: Am I going to be lonely forever, or I'm not smart enough, or why do all this and not get anything in return.
    >Find motivation to finish the semester strong.
     
    badeae1 likes this.
  7. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

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    Great man..I wish you have bright future ahead..
     

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