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I think I need help...

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by JP05, Oct 27, 2018.

  1. JP05

    JP05 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I'm "JP05". I'm 25, soon to be 26 (this sunday) and I'm trying to stop my addiction to Almost-Everyday Masturbation.

    I think I need help… ):

    I want to stop masturbating. Years ago, I started masturbating while watching porn.
    I thought everyone did that, back in High school we talked about it, made jokes about it, pretty normal, right?

    But, after a while, I started goin out with Friends (girls from High school) and we had sex, it was cool, then I started masturbating once a day. For almost a year.

    That's when I thought something was horribly wrong with me.
    So, I decided to leave that habit. And I've been fighting that battle for 2 to 3 years now.

    I've been trying to control this situation. Like, either a day at a time or trying to be "clean" for several days.
    I started counting the days on my iPhone and I've been "clean" for 15 to 20 days.
    But, then out of the blue, I feel the need of watching some porn and give myself a "hand" or, go out with a friend from high-school and end up having sex with her or pay for sex. Which to me, is worst.

    - Yes, I ALWAYS use condom everytime I have sex.
    - Yes, I've paid for sex.
    - Yes, I want to leave this behind me. ):

    I try really hard to not "give myself a hand". Sometimes it's easy, others not so much.
    I feel proud when I've been "clean" for several days but then I'm like "Just rub one out, why not?"
    That's when I feel bad, after doing it. ):
    Because I can't think of a good reason why not to do it?

    I want to quit this bad habit. It doesn't feel good anymore, it more like a routine.
    I don't feel pleasure anymore, instead I feel guilt. I feel like a bad person for doing this.
    I know it's bad for me, I know I can stop it, but, I don't know what to do when the "need" comes to me. I feel helpless.

    - What should I do?
    - What can I do?
    - Am I doing the right thing by trying to stay "clean" for days?
    - Am I in such a bad situation?
    - What could be a good way to leave it behind?

    I feel a Little lost. I hope you guys can help me.
    I know I can be better. I don't want to be like this anymore.


    Anyway, Thank you for Reading.
     
  2. MusicMakingMonk

    MusicMakingMonk Fapstronaut

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    Well, first, you're not in a terrible situation, you're already getting past 2 weeks quite consistenly, that's pretty good. And you're definitely doing good by staying PMO free, or clean as you like to call it.

    I would suggest writing down when you feel guilt why you want to stop this stuff. And when you can't think of any reason, go look back at what you wrote down, how it makes you feel to do it anyway.
    Stop hanging out with friends from highschool, if they have nothing to offer you except casual sex and casual sex makes you feel bad, just cut them out.
    You need to learn to catch yourself getting to "seeking" behavior, where you're trying to find release, and steer that energy into something else. Like working out, or a creative activity.
    I would also suggest getting an accountability partner, who you can message and chat with when you feel like running into a problem.
    Good luck brother!
     
  3. dylian

    dylian Fapstronaut

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    What limits us fapstronauts from doing the 90-day reboot is what is in our head.. what breaks everybody from the norm is what is in the head.. So when your brain is in pain distract the pain.
    Am into one month today. Since then all i have done is read novels. A meanse to distract the brain. Its not that you can't its just that your brain keeps losing hope so find a distraction mine is reading, whats yours?
     
  4. Nugget9

    Nugget9 Fapstronaut

    You are lucky you caught on to this bad habit at a young age. Get a girlfriend and have proper relations. It will be good for your physical and mental well being.
     
    Randy likes this.
  5. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    Hey mate. I hope you are doing OK.
    In my opinion the fundamental cause of relapsing is not having a goal or a reason why to quit. We all want better health, deeper voice, better skin, blah blah blah... as much as these benefits are true(I have experience them in my 72 days streak which was my previous streak) they are not as motivating as they should be. And the reason is clear : they are not tangible.
    You need to have this picture, vision, wish (whatever you wish to call it) in front of your eyes if you really want to quit.
    You need to find that burning desire, that one thing that you want the most and stick to it. Because that is what gives you life. When all you want is to quit PMO you won't be able to achieve it, because that is not a goal. It doesn't mean anything... but when you find yourself a goal you just make a huge distance between yourself and your addiction and breaking free from that addiction is just something you find on the way to your goal.
    I recommend you to read the book "you can heal your life" from Louise L. Hay. it's literally the best book I've ever read in my entire life. You could also search Stephen T. Chang on the internet...his books are amazing. Cultivating health during a reboot is the best way to achieve longer streaks and better life.
    Hope this helps... and good luck.
    Life Loves You!
     

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