I think I realised what I get out of femdom

[Mr Rn]

When I abstain for a long time my desire to watch this stuff does fade. What I should have said earlier is a lot of the time I relapse because I choose to, not because I'm getting strong urges. It's just that when I do choose to, I choose this genre. I know once I build up some momentum I will get past this I just also want to be able to better manage the stress that is leading to the desire to reset.

There's your answer my man, I'm very much like you, when I'm on a great streak it tends to be a choice and less of an urge to do so, and why not if i'm going to relapse, do it in the most dopamine hitting way possible.

It's just that my mind would make it seem as if a relapse is the best case scenario when I'm doing well on a streak. In many ways, it really is hard to avoid a relapse when you want to 'try' it so much. But we haven't yet seen what it's like to hold on continually. That's my current goal, but hey man you've got more experience so do what's best for you

 

[Melkhiresa]

Just some cruder words that the mods didn't like. New guy here, now I know what the mods are requesting in language decorum.

Well, why I buy the Alpha/Beta/Omega mindset is because it's a level.

What makes an Omega? Your a dummy, thorough and thorough, only used when convient.

What makes you a Beta? You have the resources, some abilities, but you're either a No-man or a Yes-man. With clingy issues.

What makes you an Alpha? You control your world, and only you allow what in, and what you kick out. Your thirst is great, but it also your greatest weapon and greatest backfire. They know their attention is valuable, and that's why they can afford porn. If they get stressed, they cope, deflate, or release in a healthy way.

Looking at some examples, Terry Crews. Super strong guy by Choice, but a victim of Porn as well. He got help, he chose his path, and it was hard for him.

We can choose easy, but we lost that right when we chose to NoFap.

technically though there can never be two aphas by definition, should two met one will either recede to a beta until his superior goes away or all hell get loose.
Well this is absolutely useless contribution to this thread and you give some good advice but as #Mr Rn put it can we please let go of this alpha/beta crap i mean a real alpha say stuff like this "i would rather be the first man i gaul than the second in rome" guess here that got him?

 

[AtomicTango]

I sometimes watch femdom porn, but just the one model because I find this particular model really beautiful. She's not married and never had kids which I find sad she'd make a beautiful wife. I find most of the crap she says on screen about how I am a worthless, and pathetic, and I should do gay shit with her bf and would never get near her pussy or with her bf etc hilarious. Lol. I should be not watching porn, but I find it hard to go more than a few days.

For me it's all about momentum when it comes to streaks. The further you push yourself the more you will build up and it will take more to end up relapsing. The first week or so is the hardest, get past that and things pick up. At least in my experience.

 

[jimmyclear]

technically though there can never be two alphas by definition, should two met one will either recede to a beta until his superior goes away or all hell get loose.
Well this is absolutely useless contribution to this thread and you give some good advice but as #Mr Rn put it can we please let go of this alpha/beta crap i mean a real alpha say stuff like this "I would rather be the first man in Gaul than the second in Rome" guess here that got him?

Then you fail to understand the concept.

If you have a group of Alpha people, what does that entail? Those who are willing to be leaders, and waste no time earning it or keeping. Do you have any idea what Porn does to us?

It turns potential Alphas into Betas, and Betas into Omegas. Each step down, you lose over thousands of currency units equal to a good life.

Why am I not rich? Because I let Porn sap my life, and getting it back is one of the biggest slogs I'll ever experience. Why are you not rich? Same thing.

As for that "I would rather be the first man in Gaul than the second in Rome", that's because he/she is scared. You cut yourself off from those that either are profitable to you, or need your services. This is what Porn does to us. Makes you the sore loser that you set yourself out to be, instead of turning that loser into a winner.

You say BS, I say "Prove it."

 

[Melkhiresa]

Then you fail to understand the concept.

If you have a group of Alpha people, what does that entail? Those who are willing to be leaders, and waste no time earning it or keeping. Do you have any idea what Porn does to us?

It turns potential Alphas into Betas, and Betas into Omegas. Each step down, you lose over thousands of currency units equal to a good life.

Why am I not rich? Because I let Porn sap my life, and getting it back is one of the biggest slogs I'll ever experience. Why are you not rich? Same thing.

As for that "I would rather be the first man in Gaul than the second in Rome", that's because he/she is scared. You cut yourself off from those that either are profitable to you, or need your services. This is what Porn does to us. Makes you the sore loser that you set yourself out to be, instead of turning that loser into a winner.

You say BS, I say "Prove it."

I understand the concept all right but one cannot just redefine the term of alpha to suit their needs, the alpha is the dominant, the first, the leader; some people may say that they have an dominant personality and that may be true but to say that they are alpha is bollocks. Alpha males do not exist in humans except autocratic society or ones with caste system.
What does having a group of alpha people entail? well the work human society work these day there is one generally speaking one leader or ceo or what title want to put and a bunch of counselor or adviser let us say that this guy is a alpha then but unless he is the head of state when he meet the real deal he will revert to a beta and when multiples head of states meets is there a alpha any longer if said alpha has to constantly negotiate, placate and choose the middle ground as only a politician know how to even with private citizen? The origin of the term comes from Dr. L. David Mech who has used in on wolves in captivity and admitted that it does not happen in the wild(for wolves) and many scientist including him do not like to use it.
There are however alpha societies such as chimps where an alpha will emerge after having defeated all the competition and rule with absolute power this happen with many animals.
But for human being the top of a particular group does not mean that you are the alpha as i mentioned with the head of states. On an individual level you can be more assertive than some and less than other but that doesn't make you an alpha unless you have some power over said individual so it is fairly useless among humans. Just cuz a cop has the right to cuff you doesn't mean he is an alpha or you are an omega humans society are too complex for that otherwise people would not spend so much time studying the dynamic of power, ultimate goal of every one would just be to become the alpha.
That quote was from caesar only thing he was afraid of was to lose power so he engulfed his nation in a bloody civil war by your definition this is a bona fide apha.

 

[OnlyWithJesus]

With femdom porn, my brain uses this genre to calm itself when I am stressed out due to this loss of control. In these videos I immerse myself in the role of being some submissive guy who lays there and takes it from some woman who is in total control.

That's really interesting, actually, and it makes sense. An addiction is used synonymously as an unhealthy dependency on something, and it seems you depend on it to destress. Knowing this should most definitely be helpful to you. You should find another coping mechanism when you feel stressed. Something creative, preferrably. Instead of going to porn, I've been playing the piano and painting.

As a female, I used femdom since it didn't show men as heartless, abusive creatures. Porn not only depicts men this way, but almost creates men to be this way. Men who view porn are more likely to be abusive/aggressive towards women. Femdom was sort of the opposite, and it helped me stop seeing men in a terrible light (or at least recognize women to be equal).

 

[AtomicTango]

That's really interesting, actually, and it makes sense. An addiction is used synonymously as an unhealthy dependency on something, and it seems you depend on it to destress. Knowing this should most definitely be helpful to you. You should find another coping mechanism when you feel stressed. Something creative, preferrably. Instead of going to porn, I've been playing the piano and painting.

As a female, I used femdom since it didn't show men as heartless, abusive creatures. Porn not only depicts men this way, but almost creates men to be this way. Men who view porn are more likely to be abusive/aggressive towards women. Femdom was sort of the opposite, and it helped me stop seeing men in a terrible light (or at least recognize women to be equal).

Very interesting, thank you for the insight.

 

[Melkhiresa]

As a female, I used femdom since it didn't show men as heartless, abusive creatures. Porn not only depicts men this way, but almost creates men to be this way. Men who view porn are more likely to be abusive/aggressive towards women. Femdom was sort of the opposite, and it helped me stop seeing men in a terrible light (or at least recognize women to be equal).

this completely ignore the genre of porn they are watching or the fact that men are more naturally dominant toward women beside femdom humiliation has nothing whatsoever to do with equality.

 

[jimmyclear]

I understand the concept all right but one cannot just redefine the term of alpha to suit their needs, the alpha is the dominant, the first, the leader; some people may say that they have an dominant personality and that may be true but to say that they are alpha is bollocks. Alpha males do not exist in humans except autocratic society or ones with caste system.

What does having a group of alpha people entail? well the work human society work these day there is one generally speaking one leader or ceo or what title want to put and a bunch of counselor or adviser let us say that this guy is a alpha then but unless he is the head of state when he meet the real deal he will revert to a beta and when multiples head of states meets is there a alpha any longer if said alpha has to constantly negotiate, placate and choose the middle ground as only a politician know how to even with private citizen? The origin of the term comes from Dr. L. David Mech who has used in on wolves in captivity and admitted that it does not happen in the wild(for wolves) and many scientist including him do not like to use it.

There are however alpha societies such as chimps where an alpha will emerge after having defeated all the competition and rule with absolute power this happen with many animals.
But for human being the top of a particular group does not mean that you are the alpha as i mentioned with the head of states. On an individual level you can be more assertive than some and less than other but that doesn't make you an alpha unless you have some power over said individual so it is fairly useless among humans. Just cuz a cop has the right to cuff you doesn't mean he is an alpha or you are an omega humans society are too complex for that otherwise people would not spend so much time studying the dynamic of power, ultimate goal of every one would just be to become the alpha.

That quote was from caesar only thing he was afraid of was to lose power so he engulfed his nation in a bloody civil war by your definition this is a bona fide alpha.

And... you've lost. Think about it, on a personal scale. Are you going to be an Alpha of yourself, or an Beta of the group?

Gaius Julius Caesar was an Alpha that screwed the elites over.

With the Gallic Wars concluded, the Senate ordered Caesar to step down from his military command and return to Rome. Leaving his command in Gaul would mean losing his immunity to criminal prosecution by his enemies. This was the start of "Caesar's Civil War". Caesar was viewed as a champion of the common people, and advocated a variety of reforms. The Senate, fearful of Caesar, reduced the number of legions he had, then demanded that he relinquish command of his army. Caesar refused, and instead marched his army to Rome, which no Roman general was permitted to do by law.

When your in control of your life, you can't be shaken.

This is what its like being a person, being a man who says "F*** You!" to the world. When you're told "Jump", a real man asks "How high?". A slave just jumps.

I'm am asking you, just you, what do you take from this? That Alphas are bloody warmongers that think with their dicks? Or are they people that have goals, energy, and will stop at nothing till their goal is full?

This is something that NoFap advocates. Your war determines your stance. The only time you really lose is if your stay down, like people tell you to.

 

[Ray S]

Could be you want to lose the stress for being in control most of the time.

General question do you like the way woman have established themselves in our society?

I think there is also a nurturing side missing from women in this age, they have to work just like men and it makes them stressed more frequently.

I can't explain, but its like:
Men and woman are both working and doing the same thing, then all of the sudden in the bedroom only the woman gets to receive?
It's odd because both are equal.

Or maybe you just do not want to be attracted to vagina's, because you do not want to give the woman power to be attracted to her vagina like all the other men do.
Then by objectifying her Dominant side, and PMO you will never have attraction to vagina and there is no chance she will give access to her vagina.

 

[AtomicTango]

Could be you want to lose the stress for being in control most of the time.

I think this is it.

General question do you like the way woman have established themselves in our society?

Hmm, I'm not opposed to it, but personally I have more conservative values. Not in the sense that I dislike those who disagree with me or anything though.

I think there is also a nurturing side missing from women in this age, they have to work just like men and it makes them stressed more frequently.

I can't explain, but its like:
Men and woman are both working and doing the same thing, then all of the sudden in the bedroom only the woman gets to receive?
It's odd because both are equal.

I think I get what you mean here. I do think you are more accurate in saying it's about stress and control though.

Or maybe you just do not want to be attracted to vagina's, because you do not want to give the woman power to be attracted to her vagina like all the other men do.
Then by objectifying her Dominant side, and PMO you will never have attraction to vagina and there is no chance she will give access to her vagina.

Nah, I'm definitely attracted to women in that way. I think it's less about the woman being dominant and more about me NOT being dominant, if that makes sense.

 

[Ray S]

I think this is it.



Hmm, I'm not opposed to it, but personally I have more conservative values. Not in the sense that I dislike those who disagree with me or anything though.



I think I get what you mean here. I do think you are more accurate in saying it's about stress and control though.



Nah, I'm definitely attracted to women in that way. I think it's less about the woman being dominant and more about me NOT being dominant, if that makes sense.

Alright.

But how do you handle dating vanilla then?

 

[AtomicTango]

Alright.

But how do you handle dating vanilla then?

I've never dated anyone.

 

[Meshuga]

I skimmed, except for that argument about alphas and betas. What a self fulfilling prophecy, eh? Have fun with that pissing contest.

Your assessment, that you are ultra-controlling in real life so you are attracted to the role reversal, not being in control, as a break, is common. It's a recognized thing. Dealing with it in a sexual context is also a recognized thing. People pay good money to indulge a fetish like that. Personally, I don't know if that's the healthiest way to deal but it's not my business and I'm not qualified to comment on it. All the things I have to say on the subject are layman's speculation, but that won't stop me from typing.

You are habitually in control, but are drawn to relinquishing that control in a moment of massive catharsis and dopamine reward. I have to wonder if habituating yourself with lack of control in non sexual situations will reduce the draw of femdom P?

I mean, you're not going to be in control all the time. That's reality. If you get comfortable with that idea, and get more accustomed to that creature, lack of control, purring beside you, maybe you won't need to wrestle it every once in a while.