I've always been terribly shy around women never really had a girlfriend never had sex. I want to become a Catholic as a way to spiritually commit to God but I have some pretty ungodly desires, I want to one day have kids with my own with a woman but I feel as if my shyness and sexual desires are making it impossible for that to happen. I have to admit that I'm more intimidated by women than I'd like to admit When ever women look at me I sweat, when they compliment me I blush, when I shake their hands I always get boners. But the thing that I'm most concerned about are my sexual desires. As I mentioned earlier I desperately want to become Catholic but I feel as if my desires are getting in my way. I've always had a fetish for women's feet since childhood, and I like boobs too. But the things is My desires have taken a darker turn now I want to lick a woman's vagina, have a woman tickle my cock and balls with a feather, (I hate tickling but I'd make an acceptation for my cock and balls to be tickled by a beautiful woman. Lastly, I recently started fantasizing about a woman locking my cock and balls into a Chastity cage. I am dead scared of BDSM (and Catholicism condemns it.) But there's something about Chastity cages that seem interesting to me. But I'm afraid it's going to go too far and the woman I am with will take full advantage of my sexual desires and keep me in the cage permanently. I've also came to realize that Most women do not like submissive men, Trust me I don't really like being submissive either I have masculine energy that I would like to apply to my own goals and I feel like these desires I have are going to feminize me and make me have less masculine energy. But my desires in a way scratch my rash to be "knocked down a few notches." But the thing is I also lack masculine energy to talk to women as I am dreadfully shy around them. When I'm around men, in church, or trying to accomplish my goals. My masculine energy kicks into over drive, but around women or fantasizing my masculine energy is drained as I am trying to evaluate how much of a freak I am for my mannerisms and desires. Is there anyway I can stop being such a freak?