I think I'm done?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by liss2402, Nov 15, 2021.

  1. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Can you find a counselor? Or any betrayal trauma group in your area? I’m so sorry. Too many relationships utterly destroyed by this addiction.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 21, 2021
  2. liss2402

    liss2402 Fapstronaut

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    I have seen a psychologist on and off the past few years - she does NOT specialise in this though so, whilst she doesn't not believe me, I think it is out of her knowledge base & in the past has not helped a lot. I think this addiction and its fallout is still relatively new so not a lot seem to understand the issues that we as partners have.

    The counsellor my husband & I were both going to actually specialises in P&M addiction and I felt really positive with him, although, looking back, I think my H is just very good at talking the talk. I think H would get a lot out of seeing him alone as he doesn't stand for BS (& called H on it several times in our sessions) and without me there he could be freer in his responses perhaps?
    Pretty sure this guy does not helps partners alone though - perhaps I can see if he knows someone who does?

    Thanks @Psalm27:1my light
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2021
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  3. liss2402

    liss2402 Fapstronaut

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    I have managed to find a csat therapist who specialises in partner betrayal trauma. She has squeezed me in early next week.
    i am both relieved and petrified but really, really hope this is going to help.
     
  4. RUNDMC

    RUNDMC Fapstronaut

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    You are in the top 1% of women for self-esteem.
     
  5. How did your therapy appt go? I hope you found it helpful and are able to begin working on your healing now. You deserve some peace.
     
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  6. liss2402

    liss2402 Fapstronaut

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    It went well thank you. I came home exhausted but for the first time I feel heard and understood. She has told me I don’t have to make any decisions around my marriage right now, to just focus on me, which I think is what I needed to hear. Admittedly, my H has no idea that I am even considering our future. He seems to think if he’s a bit sad that that makes it all better.

    The Csat I saw does EMDR (?) trauma therapy, which seems to be the go to currently for betrayed partners. I see her again this week and we will start on some boundary work.
     
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  7. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    You actually hit on something which seems to be the go to currently for betrayed partners. EMDR can be quite effective but it is also overrated and over used. I would do a lot of research on it first because EMDR to be presented as an option on a first time therapy session seems extremely premature in IMHO. Boundary work is a good start though.
     
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  8. liss2402

    liss2402 Fapstronaut

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    I haven’t really looked into it yet- she more mentioned that “down the track” EMDR could be useful and that she does use that method. I don’t believe it’s anywhere in my immediate therapy sessions but I take what you’re saying on board.
     

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