I think I'm going to stop counting? Maybe?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by HopefulChristian, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. Pros & Cons? It's funny but counting days wasn't something I used before NoFap. I think I may have set a date. I don't remember. Days don't seem a good motivator anymore.
    So who doesn't count their days? Who stopped and went back? What do you think overall?
     
  2. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    I keep count to see how much has changed, it is important. It's great for personal reflection. As for motivation its to see if you can keep up with the 90 day challenge don't you think? Otherwise how else are you going to know if you made it? LOL
     
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  3. I mean you could do a rough estimate. I've decide to set a date. Don't know what yet and just record relapses as they come
     
  4. Actually I did. Spring Break! March 27. That's how many days? Well I don't know but yeah, I'll start there
     
  5. I like to keep count, I use a app called "Quit That!". But for me the main thing is not to obsess over days. In a way, the counter imo is a double edged sword.
     
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  6. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    I like the new avatar. +1
     
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  7. I'm thinking of going old fashion and use a calender to record my nofap journey. It sounds really helpful. Sometimes it seems TOO easy to just reset the counter. I've must've done it a million times without giving it much thought. Having a physical manifestation of your progress brings a different dimension to the whole process and evolution that you are going through.
     
  8. Thanks Roger, I'm actually growing out my beard in real life too. Apparently nofap helps with beard growth.. we shall see..:cool:
     
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  9. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Cheers. Speaking of which, I need to shave. . .
     
  10. Beopus

    Beopus Fapstronaut

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    I haven't been counting lately, other things are filling up the time and it's just sort of happening.

    I used to look at Nofap subreddit and count days when I was really struggling with urges. Now it's mainly to keep up with the folks here. Fun group.
     
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  11. Absolutely.
     
  12. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    I think whether you are counting or just have a target date, it's good to have something to aim at. I actually got slightly disillusioned with the whole "streak length" thing - the thought that you have to reset all your progress for one small slip as if it was all for nothing reinforces the idea of "failing". Then people say "well I've reset anyway, may as well binge". So I stopped counting days and just kept my target in mind. I actually passed 90 days without realizing it. Give yourself something rewarding if you make it to reinforce pleasure without PMO to your brain. I'm glad I set 90 days (or thereabouts) as an initial target as I don't think that I'd have made it otherwise.

    I personally think that the best way to do it is probably a spreadsheet/calendar. No resetting but you put a green mark if you go all day without PMO and a red mark if you don't. You can have other marks for anything else you want to avoid (P subs, P fantasy etc). Over time, you have a positively reinforcing thing which will make you feel rewarded for achievement rather than punished for failure. Do still set targets though (if you get, say, 30 consecutive green then promise yourself a treat).
     
  13. I've tried both just using a counter and only working with a spreadsheet. Interestingly, as was said before, the counter gives the false impression upon failure of going back to square one. Using a spreadsheet however I found myself rationalizing pmo like : "oh, you only did 4 per 30 days, thats not a lot." trying to come up with the "right quota" of pmo per month which is bogus of course and doesn't address the root problem.

    At any rate, this time I am combining the best of both approaches, the motivational, directional push of the streak count (without relying on widgets. Etc. but just as an internal compass) and the overall big picture view of streaks and resets to not lose faith when I do fall.
     
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  14. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    I agree that a counter is a double-edged sword: if in 3 months you relapsed on the last week of the final month, your counter says "day 2" even after keeping yourself clean the other 88 days. That is not true, 88 days matter (if will still suck to relapse at that point, but some healing must have been achieved).

    In my case, once I reach 120 days I will probably stop the counter and move to the spreadsheet. Looking at the increasing number feels good and everything, but I want to believe I can move on and maintain a porn-free lifestyle without having to depend on something. Besides, keeping the counter forever makes me feel like (, paranoic me, :) ) I am closer and closer to relapse instead of a full reboot.
     
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  15. TheLoneDanger

    TheLoneDanger Fapstronaut

    I too endorse the spreadsheet. It's just a more accurate account of your journey. I'm documenting my first 90 days, but that's just so I can look back at my feelings during certain parts of my journey. But I don't really look at my number of days and think anything good or bad about them. The actual number of days that I've abstained is much less significant than the changes that have occurred during those days.
     
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  16. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I have done reboots both ways. At first it was nice to see how I was getting those days behind me and getting closer to the goal. On one of my reboots I just remembered about when I started and didn't think about it and it seemed like the time passed a lot faster. My current reboot I am checking in daily to closely monitor my thoughts and feelings. I would probably choose not to have a counter if I weren't examining myself so closely.
     
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  17. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    I don't count days as such. When I decided to go sexual-abstinence mode I challenged myself to a year. Wrote down the last date I had sex and then just reminded myself the deadline was a year after that. 1.5 years later and still going strong with no fixed end date anymore.

    Decided to add nofap, meaning I'm in total monk mode now. My nofap date is February 4th and that's all I care to know and then I can just check in every once in a while. Rigorous day counting does not work for me as it makes me anxious.
     
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  18. 1of7Billionorso

    1of7Billionorso Fapstronaut

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    Worked for me. I stopped counting once and it brought me to my longest streak of more or less a fortnight
     
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  19. Hiraeth

    Hiraeth Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same way, a counter may avert you from PMOing but it also distracts you from doing stuff in your life and focuses you on 'not pmoing'.
     
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