I think I'm possessed by the devil

You, and your pastoral team, will have to write off physical or psychological causes first. Can you proclaim aloud that Jesus Christ is Lord? I'm sorry for your troubles, I won't pretend to know what it is like to be in your shoes. But I do know that the worst thing you can do is to give up; that's what the enemy wants you to do. God permits all sorts of evils, including our temptations, in order to bring about a greater good, "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose." Also, St Paul says "The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Just keep standing up, sir, it's not going to be like this forever. God will not leave you orphan. Keep trying. If you are concerned about real demonic activity, see a priest for healing or deliverance, especially with the sacrament of penance and the holy eucharist. And if you are having suicidal ideation, please do all of humanity a favor and call 9-8-8. Seriously

 

I have lost a daughter due to cancer. I have been through many, many difficult things in my 60+ years but undoubtedly this was absolutely the saddest thing I have ever endured. If you love your family, do not take your life. The ramifications of your loss would not only be incredible sorrow but feelings of guilt for them too.

As far as the consequences of 36 years of sin, I must admit my years of sin are even greater than yours. I admit, there are moments when I feel despair over the decisions I made however, when I am reminded that God has forgiven me, I am reminded to forgive myself. Until 2 years ago, I refused to let my guilt and shame go, despite numerous heartfelt confessions. I felt that my shame must be an essential deterrent from sinning again. Then, I looked back at my history of hundreds, perhaps thousands of failed attempts to repent and I realized that shame had done nothing but drive me to despair.

Our Precious Lord died on the cross in atonement for sins because no human could have born that burden. As individuals, we do not have the strength to bear the burden of repeated sin. Drop your shame and guilt. Accept God's forgiveness. You and your soul are incredibly valuable entities. You are a good man! I am praying for you

 

jarvyjarvison, you stated "Anyone can" [say "Jesus Christ is Lord"] but St Paul wrote, "No one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except by the Holy Spirit" (1 Cor 12:3). I'm just trying to put your mind at ease here. If you were possessed, they would not allow you say the Holy Name. Period. Can you receive the sacrament of penance without writhing uncontrollably? Can you approach holy communion without frothing at the mouth? I don't mean to sound pedantic, sorry about that, but it's worth asserting that being mentally unwell does not mean you are possessed by a demon. Fr Ripperger or Fr Vince Lampert are good resources for basic information on this, if you are concerned about it. Jesse Romero has some crazy stories as well.

CPilot, thanks for sharing your testimony.

 

Greetings of peace, brother! I might not fully grasp what you are going through right now but please do know that you are not alone in this battle. I am no exorcist nor a psychologist/psychiatrist but maybe you are having obsessive or intrusive thoughts. To be honest, I also have some problems when it comes to prayer because blasphemous thoughts would enter into my mind which is out of my control and not only that, negative thoughts would also enter my mind. Bro, this is to remind you that you are not alone in your struggles. Keep fighting because the Lord is with us when we reach out to Him with a sincere heart.

 

Where there is good, there will also be evil. I have also gotten blasphemous thoughts while praying. I suspect that many, many people do. I have found a few ways to combat this, I hope these are helpful to you.
1) when praying in silence picture a holy scene floating above a highway. Example - Christ and His Sacred Heart. When a bad thought or a distraction enters your mind, consider it as a car passing on the highway. Let it go by and return your gaze to Christ and His Sacred heart.
2) Feel your breathing and with each exhale, say the name of Jesus, slowly and deliberately.
3) If you are praying before a statue or a crucifix, fix your eyes on the eyes of the statue. Look at no other feature but the eyes as you pray.
4) Remind yourself that the devil only tempts those who are on a path towards God and purity. He need not bother tempt the others, they are already his.
5) When praying the rosary or reading the gospel, picture the mystery or the scene. Put yourself in that place. Smell the smells of the place and time. Feel the heat or cold of the day or night. Hear the sounds of the people and animals. This is a method of prayer known as Lectio Divina. Google this and learn more, it is a very enjoyable way to pray.

 

I will keep you in my prayers, brother. I wish I could comment on what the cause of your affliction is but I’m not qualified to give advice in that area.

What I have found out is that the journey to holiness is a war and in it there will be many battles. It’s not uncommon to have movement of peace and then intense combat. When I started this journey I thought that things like temptations would become less frequent or less intense, but through spiritual reading I have found that it’s actually the opposite. Temptations can increase and become more intense since you’re finally putting your body into subjection and at times the devil must work harder to get you to fall. Trust in Christ and you will overcome all temptations.

With that said, I don’t like to think about everything bad as being from the devil. As Fr. Ripperger once said “the devil isn’t under every rock, he’s under every other rock.”

Just know that things like mental illness are not obstacles to sainthood. Also know, my brother, that a possessed person isn’t always an unholy person and that no possessed person is ever held morally culpable for their actions while being possessed.

 

I’m happy to hear you’ve decided against suicide! Praise God!

I’m sorry to hear this as it’s not good for your soul. Please reconsider this outlook.

Not trying to offend, but you don’t sound happy now either, so I don’t understand why you would want to keep masturbation around.

We’re human beings capable of love and we’re called to love not called to be sexual. Yes, we have the capacity for sexuality; however, if this is not being ordered towards love then it’s being misused and will become disordered. This disorder will then start impacting the faculties of your soul such as darkening your intellect and will.

Marriage is hardly about luxuries, but rather the mutual self-giving of spouses and the procreation of children; It’s an invitation to live the selfless love of God and the image of the Trinity. I know you’re not married but I would encourage you to read “Three to Get Married” by Fulton J Sheen. It’s a great book to help Catholics, married or not, understand the dignity of the vocation of marriage.

While I agree with the divorced part, the rest of the stuff just sounds like excuses to masturbate. I’m 39 and unmarried but so what? This doesn’t give me permission to violate Gods law or offend Him; I’m not entitled to sex or sexual pleasure when it’s contrary to, or divorced from, love.

 

A saint, by definition, is someone who is existing in heaven. You need not be canonized by the church to be a saint. Therefore, there are people in heaven, probably millions of them, who spent some time in purgatory to be perfected before being brought to heaven. It seems likely that suffering which we can choose to undergo for the glory of God and in atonement for our sins can also be performed while we are earth, not only in purgatory.

Could it be that your celibacy, including abstinence from M, is a means that God has offered to you to speed your soul to heaven when the day comes?

 

"A saint is a sinner who keeps on trying"
I used to hate this quote when my addictions were more imposing, but nowadays I see the truth in it. One of my favorite passages from St Paul is in Philippians when he reminisces about his past life and how he has come to accept it and move on, "forgetting what lies behind, I press on toward God's call upward." You will always, always, always have a future. What you're describing about your lack of willpower is the essence of addiction. Addiction is not a choice; it is a disease 'of' choice. Your spirit and your soul is not any less; your brain is messing you up. This mitigates your culpability, which only God knows, sees, understands. You gotta get back up on the horse, man. Find new people, places, and things that support the healing of your brain, and as often as possible return to the sacraments. "Grace builds on nature." The gospel reading today is about forgiveness... not 7 times, but 77 times. As far as the Holy Trinity is concerned, you have unlimited forgiveness which Jesus was pleased to win for us. As Pope Francis said, the Lord does not tire of forgiving us; it is we who get tired of us asking for forgiveness. Listen to the things you are saying... you are settling for a life of lukewarmness and, basically, tacitly accepting a life of despair. Does this sound like voice of God? Whose voice is that? You are buying into a lie, bro. If I were in your shoes, I would wage war. Find an addictions specialist; find a sex addicts anonymous group; educate yourself on the science behind addiction and porn abuse; come up with a game plan; create a rule of life; list your non-negotiables in your relationship with God and commit to daily prayer, true relational prayer, not just reciting Paters and Aves. There are 1,000 saints - known and unknown - who started way later than you, and with way worse things on their soul. You're still in a good place, it is a long way to fall. Trust that the Lord is present in your life and will never stop inviting you to a life of communion and grace with him, period, Amen. He has counted all the hairs on your head.

 

I’m sorry but you don’t need to masturbate in order to continue living; You think this way because you’ve made a god out of lust. Life isn’t about sex it’s about Love; you weren’t created to be sexual, you were created to be loving, to experience the agape Love of God. The problem is you’re too preoccupied with yourself, so much so any invitation to direct love outside of yourself becomes stifled within you.

You should pray for a conversion of heart to heal the wounds of selfishness caused by lust and your continuation in it. Pray for the light to see past the ridiculous position that lifeis not worth living without sexual gratification.

God is inviting you to carry the cross, to live like Him selflessly. To offer up your suffering for souls in need and to challenge your incorrect position that life is pointless and unfulfilling without sexual pleasure/gratification. He’s calling on you to live a life of faith and put your trust in Him instead of yourself.

 

I have begun thanking God for the things He has NOT given me as well as those which He has given me. I am not a tall man and I was not blessed with much athletic skill. There are silly moments in my life when I look at tall, handsome actors and athletes and wonder what it is like to be so attractive to women but in an instant, I thank God that is it not so. What sort of sinful behavior and ultimate unhappiness would I have received if I had such shallow attributes? How far would I have strayed from God while trading solely on good looks? Good looking, famous actors who are devoted to God are such a rarity that they are news worthy. I doubt seriously that I would have been one of those if I had their good looks. No, I thank God that He did not give me this gift.