I think I'm scared of rebooting.

D

Deleted Account

Guest
Hey everyone,
I had a relapse 3 days ago and then I did it again today. The plan was to let go for a few days and start my streak today so it'd be day 1 but I just broke that. I have no idea why I did it. I wasn't "that" stressed and I wasn't sad either. I was numb you know not happy not sad.
I think I have been in this addiction loop for so long that life without it seems impossible. I literally had my entire adolescence years with PMO as a source for pleasure and to make me feel good after a bad or stressful day...it was like the happy part of my day where I could just escape all and any social interactions and be alone where I don't bother anyone and where no-one bothers me. Except that I'd feel so so bad about myself when it's over. I think this is how my life has always been. Something good happens then something bad happens right after. I even became scared and worried when good things happened to me because I knew I'd either mess it up or something bad will happen.
I have things I want to do and I want to stop being so sad all the time about all the relapses and worried about breaking my streak again. I just wish PMO would disappear from my life and I'd never have to think about it again. Last weeks I had a 15 day streak and looking at that streak now I think the only reason I had that streak is because I had no urges in the first place and the moment I started getting urges again I relapsed.
PMO affects my mood, self-esteem, confidence, I even stutter while talking and get so nervous for no reason. I usually get that voice telling me I'd mess everything up the same way I've destroyed my health and broke all those past streaks.
 
I'm trying to change said:
Hey everyone,
I had a relapse 3 days ago and then I did it again today. The plan was to let go for a few days and start my streak today so it'd be day 1 but I just broke that. I have no idea why I did it. I wasn't "that" stressed and I wasn't sad either. I was numb you know not happy not sad.
I think I have been in this addiction loop for so long that life without it seems impossible. I literally had my entire adolescence years with PMO as a source for pleasure and to make me feel good after a bad or stressful day...it was like the happy part of my day where I could just escape all and any social interactions and be alone where I don't bother anyone and where no-one bothers me. Except that I'd feel so so bad about myself when it's over. I think this is how my life has always been. Something good happens then something bad happens right after. I even became scared and worried when good things happened to me because I knew I'd either mess it up or something bad will happen.
I have things I want to do and I want to stop being so sad all the time about all the relapses and worried about breaking my streak again. I just wish PMO would disappear from my life and I'd never have to think about it again. Last weeks I had a 15 day streak and looking at that streak now I think the only reason I had that streak is because I had no urges in the first place and the moment I started getting urges again I relapsed.
PMO affects my mood, self-esteem, confidence, I even stutter while talking and get so nervous for no reason. I usually get that voice telling me I'd mess everything up the same way I've destroyed my health and broke all those past streaks.
Click to expand...
why not do things one at a time. First, just no porn or social media crap. Do that for 90 days. Get computer screen porn out of your system. Then work on stopping master nation after that.
 
I'm trying to change said:
Hey everyone,
I had a relapse 3 days ago and then I did it again today. The plan was to let go for a few days and start my streak today so it'd be day 1 but I just broke that. I have no idea why I did it. I wasn't "that" stressed and I wasn't sad either. I was numb you know not happy not sad.
I think I have been in this addiction loop for so long that life without it seems impossible. I literally had my entire adolescence years with PMO as a source for pleasure and to make me feel good after a bad or stressful day...it was like the happy part of my day where I could just escape all and any social interactions and be alone where I don't bother anyone and where no-one bothers me. Except that I'd feel so so bad about myself when it's over. I think this is how my life has always been. Something good happens then something bad happens right after. I even became scared and worried when good things happened to me because I knew I'd either mess it up or something bad will happen.
I have things I want to do and I want to stop being so sad all the time about all the relapses and worried about breaking my streak again. I just wish PMO would disappear from my life and I'd never have to think about it again. Last weeks I had a 15 day streak and looking at that streak now I think the only reason I had that streak is because I had no urges in the first place and the moment I started getting urges again I relapsed.
PMO affects my mood, self-esteem, confidence, I even stutter while talking and get so nervous for no reason. I usually get that voice telling me I'd mess everything up the same way I've destroyed my health and broke all those past streaks.
Click to expand...
Hey Buddy Chill, Just Engage In Another Thing and Try Hard Bro I Know You'll Make It. Believe In Yourself ✌️
Alot Of People Engage In This And Get Worse Then You But They Still Manage To Get Out Of It. Not Because It's Easy For Them. No, Not At All, This Shit Is Not Easy For Anyone, You Know That Well As You Are Stuck In It, But You'll Get Out Of It Just Like People Do. Believe In Yourself Brother.✌️
 
IMG_20211020_131202.jpg IMG_20211020_131202.jpg
I'm trying to change said:
Hey everyone,
I had a relapse 3 days ago and then I did it again today. The plan was to let go for a few days and start my streak today so it'd be day 1 but I just broke that. I have no idea why I did it. I wasn't "that" stressed and I wasn't sad either. I was numb you know not happy not sad.
I think I have been in this addiction loop for so long that life without it seems impossible. I literally had my entire adolescence years with PMO as a source for pleasure and to make me feel good after a bad or stressful day...it was like the happy part of my day where I could just escape all and any social interactions and be alone where I don't bother anyone and where no-one bothers me. Except that I'd feel so so bad about myself when it's over. I think this is how my life has always been. Something good happens then something bad happens right after. I even became scared and worried when good things happened to me because I knew I'd either mess it up or something bad will happen.
I have things I want to do and I want to stop being so sad all the time about all the relapses and worried about breaking my streak again. I just wish PMO would disappear from my life and I'd never have to think about it again. Last weeks I had a 15 day streak and looking at that streak now I think the only reason I had that streak is because I had no urges in the first place and the moment I started getting urges again I relapsed.
PMO affects my mood, self-esteem, confidence, I even stutter while talking and get so nervous for no reason. I usually get that voice telling me I'd mess everything up the same way I've destroyed my health and broke all those past streaks.
Click to expand...
Just Like This Guy(Image) You'll Make It Too
 
DeeJ4y said:
Keep going, it is normal. Good thing is that you know porn is bad. Now do everything to get rid of it.
Click to expand...
Thanks I'm trying really hard abd I get frustrated when i relapse and i feel liie i'll never succeed.
 
boyrose said:
why not do things one at a time. First, just no porn or social media crap. Do that for 90 days. Get computer screen porn out of your system. Then work on stopping master nation after that.
Click to expand...
I tried stopping porn but i keep relapsing.. i usually don't masturbuate without it. So O guess if I elemenate porn my problem will be solved but I just don't seem to control myself and I'm so terrified of the consequences as well.
 
Kushina said:
Hey Buddy Chill, Just Engage In Another Thing and Try Hard Bro I Know You'll Make It. Believe In Yourself ✌️
Alot Of People Engage In This And Get Worse Then You But They Still Manage To Get Out Of It. Not Because It's Easy For Them. No, Not At All, This Shit Is Not Easy For Anyone, You Know That Well As You Are Stuck In It, But You'll Get Out Of It Just Like People Do. Believe In Yourself Brother.✌️
Click to expand...
Thanks but the frustration I get after stopping for 15 days and then relapse..it just feels so awful and it's exhausting to try again knowing that you might fail again and he sad again. It's torture.
 
I'm trying to change said:
Thanks but the frustration I get after stopping for 15 days and then relapse..it just feels so awful and it's exhausting to try again knowing that you might fail again and he sad again. It's torture.
Click to expand...
This Thing Too Happens To Alot Of People But The Reason To Trying Again Is That What If You Got It? It'll Be Crazy Right? So Pick Yourself Up And Try Again. And Unlike Everybody I Know You'll Make It.✌️
 
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I started PMO in my teen years and done it about 25 years. I notice you mentioned you have things you want to do. That is good! Think of and write down all the things you want to do and think on those things. PM has consumed a lot of time in my life that I wish I had back. I can tell you, I wish I would have started this journey a long time ago. Stay in the fight!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top