I think my mom just told me to relapse (Day 15)

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Grant Richard

Fapstronaut
It's Day 15 for me and I've been feeling just kind of off today, feeling more sad and anxious and lonely and unmotivated to do the work I have to do today more than ever. My mom knows about my porn addiction because I've told her about it a while ago.

For context, my mom is radically left-leaning and believes that porn and masturbation is fine. Yes, bizarre, but true.

I told her about NoFap and how it's literally changing people's lives, and all she thinks it is is just telling people not to masturbate and watch porn, she just thinks it's about guilting people into not doing these things. She said told me that 'porn isn't causing the problems in these people, people are causing the problems'. She also gave me this analogy that you can get hooked on basically anything, like eating or playing video games, so that's why you do it in moderation (basically she's telling me that it's okay to watch porn as long as it's in moderation).

Anyways I sometimes forget this so I was really tired today, feeling off and unfocused, and a little bit lonely and sad, so I went up to her just to have someone to talk to, since we're still on lockdown. She told me that I've been making lots of changes and I've been more productive in the past 2 weeks than I have combined the past 10 years, and told me (I shit you not) that I should just do nothing and 'be mindless' to alleviate my lack of focus today.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds a lot like her telling me to relapse. I told her that she was triggering me and I left as soon as possible.

Also, with the whole 'moderation' thing, correct me if I'm wrong too, but that's like saying, "Oh it's okay to use the crack pipe only like once a month or something, doing it in moderation is okay." Am I crazy to think that analogy is stupid, and it applies in the same exact context with porn and video games and whatnot, since the side effects of both porn and drugs are extremely similar??

It's bad to have a porn addiction, but fuck... it's even worse to have a family that's literally pro-porn, telling you it's fine to relapse. Everytime I relapsed before it was because I read something online (cherrypicked info, rather) that 'rationalized' the decision to watch porn (digging into 5 pages of google search for a random sexual blogger telling me 'it's okay' with the first 5 pages telling you it's destructive), and I'm worried being around my family with those ideas is going to fuck up my reboot bad and is going to spiral me into a relapse at some point. Is anyone else in this situation? What can I do about this so I can have a successful reboot?
 
You should just ignore your family and continue on your NoFap journey. Don't let them influence you in any way.
Grant Richard said:
She told me that I've been making lots of changes and I've been more productive in the past 2 weeks than I have combined the past 10 years, and told me (I shit you not) that I should just do nothing and 'be mindless' to alleviate my lack of focus today.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds a lot like her telling me to relapse.
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I don't know if she was deliberately trying to make you relapse; what she said is kind of ambiguous and could be interpreted in more than one way. I can see why you'd be suspicious though. One thing I notice about a lot of left-leaning people is they're kind of similar to religious people in the sense that they get a little annoyed when a family member or friend isn't part of their hive mind.
 
If you do pmo in moderate I am sure you won't be here on nofap. Since you are addicted to porn and it's not something that's in moderation.... You do nofap. Nofap is mainly for addicts to come out of it. Being an addict which you told yourself...I think you should come out of it completely.. because science says ones addict always an addict. So to have healthy mind and body and we being addicts it's a life long challenge. It's your call now.
Beyond this... Semen retention etc are interest of people and nofap doesn't force anyone on it or says to follow compulsory...it's just we look into these ideas because they reap benefits. And keep it if it works. Or else carry on with life.
 
Hello Grant Richard,

just one small aspect: I do not think that your mother explicitly meant for you to go and relapse. Maybe looking at it this way may help you:
Compare your brain which does the "focusing on things" to a muscle. A muscle cannot perform the whole time on full power. It does need a break. So when you cannot focus this may have many different reasons (albeit it can have its roots partly in porn consumption). Just like giving your muscles a break, give your brain a break, too. Just unfocus (prefereably far away from any triggering source) and try to enjoy life. Enjoy your breathing, enjoy how it feels when you walk through a park and see all the greenery, listen to some music.
Could be that she meant something along these lines? :)

That being said, stay away from porn. Just like unused muscles, your brain will lose the tracks to it more and more the longer you do not use these specific neuronal pathways in your brain. Keep on going!
 
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