I think porn made me Bi

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by UncertianSexuality, May 13, 2020.

  1. UncertianSexuality

    UncertianSexuality New Fapstronaut

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    Idk how to start other than with a bit of history. When I discovered porn I was 9, and of course the first thing I discovered was gay porn. My young self found it to be so unlike anything else that I became fixated on it. It was gradual, to the point where I am now in my early 20’s and require the strangest porn to get off. When I was 12 I discovered the sex section of craigslist and after a bit of persuading I met a guy up and he... did things to me. I was scared and confused but all I knew was that it felt good. After that, I was exclusively dating girls and lost my virginity around 16 to my then girlfriend. I was extremely attracted to her but couldn’t get it up for long. I remember having to rush in the bathroom to watch gay porn to get it up. The next girl I fucked, same problem. When fucking guys it was a bit better, but I still had some issues. I think I’ve conditioned my brain to be turned on by dudes, honestly. Either way, I’m now in a two year long relationship with a guy and in many respects he’s perfect. Sexy, funny, intelligent. But I can’t help but look at women and feel a longing that goes beyond sex... a desire for a family. I just feel like there’s this quality that women have that I desire. Now that I’ve stopped bogging down my brain with porn and imagining dudes when I jack off, I really just want to fuck a girl. I can feel my brain reverting somehow. Obviously I still think guys are hot but women are becoming hotter. My relationship and honestly future is so clouded now. Am I going crazy?
     
  2. Cloudstephen

    Cloudstephen Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, you should better know your values and if objectifying people (Men or women) is something you find in a relationship because the way you said it, you are objectifying both men and women most likely due to porn.

    Anyway, watching porn at 9 and with that kind , have changed drastically the way you have grown up as a person mentally and emotionally. You will definitely need a lot of effort and time to know yourself.

    DEFINITELY, nofap, will help in your journey in discovering what you really want.
    PORN definitely brainwashes our mind to the point that we lose control of what we really want.

    Being attracted with girls is normal and a step in the right direction.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2020
  3. monkeyfonics

    monkeyfonics Fapstronaut

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    I hold a somewhat controversial opinion that most gay people are gay due to conditioning, not biology. Your brain is very impressionable and plastic at a young age and certain experiences can mold it, and this includes your sexuality.

    I think the only way to know your true sexuality is to go 1 year of no porn, no sex, and minimal fapping, and see how you feel at the end of it.
     
  4. DyingStar

    DyingStar Fapstronaut

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    I'm so sorry that you were molested, especially at such a young age that's just dreadful. I definitely believe that gay porn had an effect on your sexuality along with that horrid experience. If your desire to be with a woman is stronger than it is to be with your partner, the best thing you can do is let him go and pursue a relationship with a girl.
     
  5. Totally different story but I believe my identification with bisexuality, even letting a man have sex with me despite the fact I was unaroused the entire time, also arose from ridiculous over-consumption of porn. As the others have said the only way to confirm such a subjective reality is to abstain for a long time and work on ourselves in the process. Godspeed, my friend.
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, being driven to men since such a young age may be a sign. Porn or not you may wanna accept your sexuality how it is: heterosexual people is just not driven by same sex people. Expecially at that young age!
     
  7. marekasap

    marekasap Fapstronaut

    take the courage to stop watching porn and masturbate. You will see first results after 14 days. Its not easy, but it really helps. Next target 30 days and then keep going. Stay away from porn and it will fade away. I've been there so i know how it is.

    And yes, regular porn gets broing after months of fapping to the same content, but you are exposed to penis pictures everywhere. There you look for other content and here you go... you start to watch shemale / gay porn and start to question yourself.

    Unless you find men attractive physically and romantic, therefore you need to accept your sexuality. If you still prefer women and don't like men besides porn then you have your answer. Porn changed your tastes and makes you dopamine high.
     
    millz5231 likes this.
  8. millz5231

    millz5231 Fapstronaut

    Yeah I've been here before, for a brief minute I was identifying myself as bi online, on my secret Twitter and Tumblr. But once I started doing NoFap I noticed that it was really just the P I was into. Just from all the years of edging and over stimulating. I don't ever see myself being romantic with a man nor do I look at men and find them attractive in everyday life. I'm pretty cemented in my sexuality. Just take some time to your self, do NoFap and see how you feel.
     

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