honeycrisp
Fapstronaut
My girlfriend and I are on our second go-around.
Meaning, we broke up last year and got back together this year. One of the things I have noticed about her lately is that she is much more attached to me now than before. We have always spent much time together, whether before or after. She used to value her alone time a lot more than she does now, so there would be times when we were apart. When we broke up and were apart for half a year, I noticed that I had stopped working on all my hobbies and gained weight while we were dating.
I was a shell of my former self. All I did was go to work, be with my girlfriend, eat, sleep, and repeat. I figured this meant that a relationship would distract me from being my best self, so I avoided them until she came back into the picture.
I think I was wrong.
She has been on an out-of-state vacation for almost 2 weeks now. She does not get back until Wednesday. She is out every day doing something, so we do not talk too much. I have had a TON of alone time in the last 2 weeks. Before she left, I was excited because I thought I'd get so much done. But it's been the exact opposite.
Most days, I sit around doomscrolling in my room. I could be working on my music journalism, making music, fiddling with my cameras, going out, etc. Even more so, one of the biggest reasons I joined NoFap was because I have been insanely hypersexual ever since she left. I typically PMO'd once or twice every two days when she was here. I was at three times a day in the first two weeks after she left. Besides that, the most I have done was Doordash every night to save money for when she gets back. I have all of the time in the world, yet I am not using it. Why am I letting this happen to myself?
I resent her for using up my time, yet I do nothing when I'm alone.
None of this is fair to her. Is it possible that I am just some sort of depressed and was incorrect about the source of the problem all along? I don't mean any ill will towards her, I just wanted to figure out why I felt the way I did. I have no feelings of loneliness, though I do miss her.
The good news is that I am doing much better since starting NoFap a couple of days ago. Everything seems to be turning around.
I just want to know why this was happening so that I don't repeat it again.
Meaning, we broke up last year and got back together this year. One of the things I have noticed about her lately is that she is much more attached to me now than before. We have always spent much time together, whether before or after. She used to value her alone time a lot more than she does now, so there would be times when we were apart. When we broke up and were apart for half a year, I noticed that I had stopped working on all my hobbies and gained weight while we were dating.
I was a shell of my former self. All I did was go to work, be with my girlfriend, eat, sleep, and repeat. I figured this meant that a relationship would distract me from being my best self, so I avoided them until she came back into the picture.
I think I was wrong.
She has been on an out-of-state vacation for almost 2 weeks now. She does not get back until Wednesday. She is out every day doing something, so we do not talk too much. I have had a TON of alone time in the last 2 weeks. Before she left, I was excited because I thought I'd get so much done. But it's been the exact opposite.
Most days, I sit around doomscrolling in my room. I could be working on my music journalism, making music, fiddling with my cameras, going out, etc. Even more so, one of the biggest reasons I joined NoFap was because I have been insanely hypersexual ever since she left. I typically PMO'd once or twice every two days when she was here. I was at three times a day in the first two weeks after she left. Besides that, the most I have done was Doordash every night to save money for when she gets back. I have all of the time in the world, yet I am not using it. Why am I letting this happen to myself?
I resent her for using up my time, yet I do nothing when I'm alone.
None of this is fair to her. Is it possible that I am just some sort of depressed and was incorrect about the source of the problem all along? I don't mean any ill will towards her, I just wanted to figure out why I felt the way I did. I have no feelings of loneliness, though I do miss her.
The good news is that I am doing much better since starting NoFap a couple of days ago. Everything seems to be turning around.
I just want to know why this was happening so that I don't repeat it again.
