I thought she was interested - how confusing!

Women tend not to tell you that they're not interested, because they often get drama from the men whom they reject. In other words, some men have trained women to be indirect.

Instead, a woman will hint, and hope that you get the hint, without realising that men are bad at getting hints. Her failure to reply is a hint. Back right off, and if she gets back to you, organise a date. If she vacillates or says "Maybe", it means "No"; move on.

You also acted too eager, texting her last night and again this morning. It makes you look desperate (which you might be ). She probably gets a dozen eager men texting her ad nauseam each day especially after a party. She'll be sick of it.

So, give her some time to think about you and to miss you! If you hadn't contacted her for a couple of days, she'd be far more likely to want to meet up. Don't contact her again. Wait for her to get back to you. If she's interested, she will, and you can organise a date; if not, she won't get back to you. Easy.

 

Yes, totally agree with @Mordobarn.
Let it go man, it's not worth stressing.

 

I still find it shocking how difficult it is to communicate with women compared to men. At least with regards to dating, that is. Move on, my dude.

 

I would say yes, a response out of courtesy is very reasonable. But if you really want an actual answer to this question:

I can't speak for all women, and I personally haven't really had many experiences like this, but I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of women very, very politely and honestly rejecting a man, only to have him harrass her like crazy afterward because they can't handle rejection.

If you want some examples of this, go watch SorrowTV's videos on r/niceguys. Man alive, some people are just insane. It's not uncommon to see an exchange like this:

Man: Hey! So nice meeting you you seem like a lovely person. Would you want to go on a date sometime?

Girl: Oh, hey! It was nice to meet you, too. Honestly, though, I'm not really interested in a date. I'd be happy to hang out as friends though

Man: Wow, seriously? Whatever, bitch. You're ugly as fuck anyway and probably a slut. I could do way better.


I know that might seem like an exaggeration, but it's really, really not. I've actually seen worse, but I'm not comfortable using that kind of language. I've seen people legitimately harrass people with cruel messages for hours and tell them to kill themsleves, just for a very kind and reasonable rejection.

Personally, I haven't had many experiences like that myself (just one that I can think of, and it was incredibly upsetting... actually someone I had been friends with for years), and I always try to at least attempt to respond in kind. But if a woman has had experiences like that, I can't really blame her for just not wanting to open up that conversation. It's unfortunate that nice men have to suffer the consequences of douche bag men, but unfortunately that's just the way it goes sometimes.

Anyway, I would say to do your best to take it in stride and move on, for your own sake. But sorry, I know that can be really annoying. :/

 

Rejection sucks. But at least it all happened quickly. How much time you invest in someone seems to influence how long it takes to deal with the rejection. It is much worse when you meet someone, get to know them over time and develop feelings for them and are then rejected.

 

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You've only just met her! Don't be crazy; you can't possibly know a person's character based on a single meeting. According to one author, a person can hide their true nature for a full three months. According to a therapist I know, up to two years! So, to say that she ticks all those boxes, you must have been (unconsciously) projecting your fantasy onto her.

Use this as a learning experience, so that you don't repeat the mistake.

 

Being rejected by anyone is a bad feeling. Try being rejected by your husband because he was into porn instead. He is now 12 weeks Pfree and I have him back, it's been a slow process.
This is one girl in a population of millions of them. She was nice but obviously not interested, so what! There will be others that make you feel this way too, as the saying goes ..... plenty more fish in the sea.
I would say that if there is no reply within a few hours to not text again, saves you the rejection embarrassment and helps you. You should have gone to gym after no reply to first text to take your mind off it.
Women smell desperation from a mile off and it isn't nice. It comes across as needy which most of us hate. We struggle looking after our own feelings let alone someone elses.
I hope you find love soon because it sounds like your ready to commit, and most men have issues with this also, which women also hate.
Being in limbo for either sex is not nice, especially when you have so much to give. Be happy and love yourself and the rest will follow.

 

I don't think you did either. You didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes you feel a connection and the other person doesn't. It happens to everyone.

 

That's what every other man who predictably texts her the same night and again the next morning thinks. You came across as needy and predictable.

Do you really think for even a moment that she didn't know that you were interested? You took her number. That made it obvious, if it weren't already obvious by the way you spoke to her. Women have razor-sharp intuition.

Anyway, from her point of view, it isn't about whether or not you're interested in her. It's about whether or not she is interested in you. If she were interested in you, she would have contacted you — if you hadn't messed up by coming across as needy.

By being the same as every other needy man, she's already forgotten about you. If you had held back, she would be wondering why you hadn't contacted her, which means that she would have been thinking about you.

Next time, hold back, give the woman time to think about you and wonder about you, and text her once only after a couple of days. If she doesn't remember who you are, she never was interested, but if she does remember and is interested, she will respond.

 

How could you possibly know that? You don't even know what he texted her, how he was speaking to her in person, what his demeanor was, how attractive he is. You know next to nothing about the situation. There's no way you can know whether or not he seemed desperate.

As a woman, I personally didn't see anything in his post that sounded desperate to me.

Which, again, you have no clue about....

Sorry, but I think all of this is dumb as hell. It's ideas like this that are ruining romance for all the women out there who want to be pursued. It's hard these days to find a guy who isn't acting all aloof like he barely gives a crap about you. I don't want a guy like that, and neither do many other women. We want someone who will show interest in us and pursue us and make us feel special.

OP, don't listen to this guy. If you're the kind of guy who wants to let a girl know you're interested and text her back the next day, I think that's absolutely amazing and so sweet! And eventually you will find a girl who totally loves that and it makes her feel special, and you will stand out among a sea of men who stupidly think that women only want guys who act like they don't care about them. You'll be the guy they meet and tell their friends "this guy's different, he's actually pursuing ME, instead of making me chase HIM. What a refreshing change!"

I really don't get why so many guys believe this BS. It's not how a vast majority of women I know think at all. We don't want to have to do the chasing. We want to be woo'ed and pursued. Of course if we aren't interested in the person, then we might not want to be pursued by them, which is natural. But if we are interested, that's what we want. Who the heck would want to chase after someone who is intentionally acting like they barely even care if you respond? I certainly wouldnt. I would say I deserve better than someone who seems to not really give a crap about me, and I would stop chasing that guy and go find one who actually cares enough to pursue me.

In fact, I actually did that once and it almost led to me and my husband not getting together. I went and dated someone else, because he wasn't seeming interested in me or pursuing me at all and I decided I deserved better than that. Things changed later, of course, because we're married now, but we got together in spite of that, not because of it. I was not interested in chasing after a man who didn't care enough to show me he was interested and pursue me. So I found another one who did.

This tactic of acting like you don't care only works to attract women with little self respect and some kind of affinity for "bad boys." If that's what you want, then I guess go ahead. But if it's not, then this is really dumb advice. You have to think about what kind of woman you're trying to find, and what kind of relationship you're wanting.

Keep doing you, @Depressed&Out. You'll find someone who likes the you that you are eventually. You don't need to change everything about yourself to find someone. And if you do, then you'll be finding someone who likes a person that isn't even you. If you're looking for something long term, that will be impossible to keep up, and it'll get old really fast.

 

I'd move on man. Woman can play men so easily and take it for granted like taking candy from a baby, but it could honestly mean a number of reasons.

She could of possibly met another guy before you or something like that not getting you down or anything at all man.

She might be nervous about starting another relationship so quick, but I understood it was only like a get to know each other gig/hookup. Give it a day then text/message her again and see whats up. If she doesn't actually respond after that then maybe its time to go on to the next. Woman are stubborn and are very selective to what they want in a dream man or boyfriend. How far in conversations did you get if you don't mind me asking? I mean was it pretty much until the end of the night?


If it happened like that then I don't see why she wouldn't text you the next day. It's unreasonable to have a night like that and then ghost/ditch someone.

 

testing sig.....

 

Some girls are very confusing. They are very hard to read and are very indirect. At this point in my life I have no time when someone decides to put off a text.If she doesn't reply to 1 or 2 texts you sent I would not even worry about it. Maybe she has things going on in her life thats putting off the reply. Give it a week and then delete her number

 

I'm no dating expert but from I heard women may think they could do better than you by your interaction with them alone. Also sending them multiple texts without any answers from them is a no no. That shows desperation or neediness. You probably invest too much in talking to her.

 

she aint instreste dif she doesnt grab your cawk

 

I presume you mean that if she were interested, she would have grabbed the OP's penis at the first meeting. That presumption is incorrect.