I told my family about my porn addiction, but they aren't supportive

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kishi, Sep 22, 2019.

  1. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    About me:

    I'm 17, I have been struggling with this addiction for over 7 years and trying to stop for over 1 year.

    Yesterday, I told my family about my porn addiction. And the most discourage part is my dad's speech. I was trying to set blocker on his devices. Because I had asked him for helping me before by setting password for his devices. He denied and said:" These are my devices, you should control yourself or I will take you to therapy"...

    (Honestly, I don't want to be offensive or negative but... My dad is a absolutely loser in my opinion. His devices is the hard-work income from my grandmother [My grandparent is living in USA, my family is living in Vietnam, they must work hard to afford for my family's living]

    And my dad, is an former alcoholist and doesn't have any work [He retired in his 20-25, I don't exactly know] (His age is 42 now). He is lazy, unmotivated, easily angry, addicted (He's addicted to Clash of Clan, Facebook, maybe he has nothing to do in his life).

    This is somehow ridiculous, I was crying, lauging, crying for my dad and my own situation. I know I have to forgive for my dad, maybe he encountered something bad in his past. I don't know what to do..

    My will-power is limited. The smart devices are staying around. My dad won't help me setting password. My dad is offensive by convincing me that I should control myself, while he is an addict.

    Help me... please. Thank you very much, thank you from my bottom of my heart.
     
    Hello Friend likes this.
  2. Deesorf98

    Deesorf98 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Kishi, I think you don't need any blocker. You can just make porn sites unavailable.
    You can do this going to C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc
    Then modify the "hosts" file writing 127.0.0.1 and near this IP address the name of the site you want to block. Then save the file and that's all. You don't need to change any password and your dad can still use his device. I hope this will help you. Stay strong :)
     
  3. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice. My dad doesn't have laptop/pc except iPads, samsung tab and his phone. I have already restricted my pc with cold turkey so I don't get tempted when using it except these smart tab...
     
    Deesorf98 likes this.
  4. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    No matter what you do... never ever give up. Learn, analyse, try again!
     
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  5. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes in my weak moment, I unconsciously picked up his devices and...

    I'm aiming to use my PC only (I have Cold Turkey restrict my Internet usage, just 15mins at Sunday per week) and not pick up any of his devices. But it's simply so hard...
     
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  6. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    Of course it is. What did you expect it to be ? It doesn't matter how difficult it is.
     
    Xargs likes this.
  7. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    If he offered to take you to therapy, you should accept.
     
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  8. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Only me who can help myself. No one is gonna help me, my family is unsupportive.
    Thank you for encourage me.

    Btw, my statement is somehow weird after my relapse, ehh
     
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  9. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Going to therapy will definitely cost my grandma money, she’s still working hard right now. So...
     
    Xargs likes this.
  10. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    I abstained 90 days without any porn blocker. Just set it in your mind you won't do it.

    You are right in wanting to mend your ways towards better sexuality, but you can't force it to your father. He probably said that because he's afraid of losing his porn. If he's into Clash of Clans, probably he watches porn from time to time also. Set a good example in your attitude and don't argue anymore.
     
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  11. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    I will close this thread. The more I engage in writing about my circumstance, the more I feel worried because I may make you distracted. Thanks for your kindness.
     
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  12. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    No problem, man. You're welcome.
     
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  13. Xargs

    Xargs Fapstronaut

    From my experience setting up a blocker while haven't repaired my self-control is quite useless. My country blocks all of those explicit content sites, even reddit, by default. But I know how to overpass the blocker, once I know, especially when I haven't repaired my self-control, I can open those sites again if I want easily because I can't lie to myself. You know it is like a drug user having no money, if he wants to consume the substance, he will get it no matter what obstacles are there, they even can steal money from someone, etc. Once the urge is accompanied by your attention and commitment (though unconsciously because it is your brain that wants it, not yourself), it become so unstoppable.

    However, ad blocking extension is quite useful for me so that I don't get an unwanted explicit ads which can urge me to relapse again if my self-control is weak.

    Try to practice self-control :) it is easy like just saying no to the urges or just ignore it and focus to the present, though it is hard on the first time, it will become more automatic day by days, try meditating. I agree with @DerSchütze , if your dad want to take you to theraphy you should take it, I personally never talked anything about this to my parents so I don't get this chance, but you have stepped into this step, and you got this chance, take it, not everybody can..
     
  14. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Thanks you :). Since I started this NoFap journey, I have been taking my biggest self-discovered movement never before.
     
    Xargs likes this.
  15. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Maybe you can talk to your grandmother about your problem. She sounds like a really good person and may be willing to help.
     
    Kishi likes this.
  16. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    Thanks you for your kind advice.

    I will try to focus into the momentum the more and more.

    My first philosophy (or my self-control method) I have discovered is that (summarize from Buddhist’s teaching and the other self-help books):

    “There is two wolves living inside me. The first one is the white wolf with a good personalities: courage, happy, awake, confident, growth. In contrast, the second one is the grey wolf with a bad personalities.

    All after all, I will probably die. Therefore is it matter to feed the grey one which eventually become betrayal?...”
     
    Xargs likes this.
  17. Kishi

    Kishi Fapstronaut

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    She is really a good person. I respect her very much. She’s still living in the USA so I can’t...
     

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