I told my wife.

Welcome here! This community is a great support and we need to encourage each other on this journey. So I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best in your healing. It is a long, difficult road, but we are stronger together. Cheers!

 

Congratulations on doing the right thing. I wish I would have been as aware of what my problem was and opened up about it before everything came out in the open.
It sounds like you are also blessed with an amazing wife who is willing to help and support you.
You will grow closer than you ever have been before. Cherish and honor this.
Wish you both the best.

 

Congratulations. I've been through this exact thing with my wife, and my addiction still troubles me. The worst part is when you have to tell her again that you're still struggling, even months after the first d-day. Don't let that day come. Don't let it back in. Your marriage, your faith, your entire life will be better off without ever going back to P again.

Best of luck to you, my friend.

 

Thank you for sharing this! It's super encouraging to hear.

Keep fighting the good fight!

 

C

 

Congratulations!!! It takes courage and honesty to come clean with your wife. I know you feel much better now because you are only as sick as your secrets, and your life with your wife can now truly be one of honesty and truth. I lead a group using the conquer series which dives into the effects of porn on the brain and I see many great things happen in people lives along with the struggles we share. Thnaks for your encouragement to others and for having the balls to step up and take control of your life.

 

We ended up making a rule that said we never go more than 24 hours without coming clean. If there's something I need to come clean about, I tell her that day, no waiting around. It's better to just get it out in the open. You don't have to go into a lot of detail, but basically if something happens, I tell her "Hey, I screwed up today, here's what happened, and here's what I'm going to try to do to fix it/prevent it from happening again". I think if you do that, and show that you're actively looking to work against it the next time, and you follow through with that, then you'll be way ahead.

 

Can you share the links to the Ted talks, I am currently also having some heart problems due to Fappping since age 15 I'm 31 now. My girlfriend doesn't know and no one knows. I'm rock bottom with my life and even just to weeks away from PMO makes me feel strong like Thanos but then I relapse again. I feel so dirty and so low that I also joined nofap today to try and save mylife.
I know I will never be same again, I just want to be able to live happy before I die.

 

You did the best thing that you could have ever done with this addiction by telling your wife. It is a game changer for sure. Happy for you!

I am in a similar place and had some amazing long streaks without the secret in the closet but I did have some relapses after I first told her. Perhaps 3 relapses in 70 days which is pretty good.

My mistake is that I did not tell her about the relapses when I promised her that I would. Wow, it was a devastating day when that truth came out. If you stick to your rule you will save yourself from so much heartache. A wife feels not upset about the relapse as much as breaking the rule to tell her. That compromises trust and trust is hard to get back.

Just wanted to share the encouragement that this step you made changes the marriage for the better, however do not do what I did. She will support you if you relapse but needs to know when it happens. Best of everyhing to you!

 

Best of luck man. Take it from me, it never gets easier to have that conversation, but it always needs to happen. Lying is one of the most painful parts for our wives. The porn hurts, obviously, but dishonesty hurts at a deeper level I think.

I get to have that conversation with my wife again today. Hopefully she'll respond with grace. Hope you're doing well.