I tried to stop

Hey don't give up on it. I'm still in the mood that it doesn't matter because I know I will come back, but still I continue every time. And you'll find woman for sure, even in couple of days without it you can see a difference. A suicide is not an option, and world is NOT gonna be a better place without you. Just NO. Think about others and be strong! You can do many things and be anyone you like, so don't give and even with small steps continue to reach building better life. And one of the most important thing to do is to FORGIVE YOURSELF.

 

A few months back I had the same thoughts. I thought that I was a slave to my addiction and that the devil had won.
I wanted to give up and I almost did. Now I think I can say that I've conquered my addiction.

The universe has a plan for you my friend and remember that not all those who wander are lost.
The greatest people on earth have all suffered and wanted to give up.

If you need any help, feel free to send me a message. Stay strong!

 

It’s a hard road and it can be lonely and often dark with no apparent light at the end. You must accept first that it will not be easy. It can take years to fully recover.

You must also accept that simply giving up is not going to do anything but make it worse. You say nothing works? Why? Did you only do therapy a few times? What kind of therapist are you seeing? Blockers not working? Why are you on your phone?

it’s going to seem hopeless and unbeatable, but is the alternative worth it? You need to get off the floor, stop the crying and toe up with this thing. Don’t let it control you. Don’t let it be the center of who you are. You’re better than that.

 

Dude, I wanted to hang myself, shoot myself - whatever. Thing is... You just have to meditate. Slowly. Start slowly. Meditate for 5 minutes, then more, more and more. You will notice how your brain becomes cleaner.
Our brain has become junk over the years with all the information we gather, things we experience. You've got this
If you die, your spirit will be born again but in different body. Problems will be the same. Suicide won't solve shit.

 

You never know what the future might hold so you can't really say that. Plus, even if you never find a woman or have sex, you can still enjoy life.

Love is a drug. Not every relationship that appears happy actually is happy.

You could try reading this quote from the book Lost Connections by Johann Hari:

"And she discovered an ancient technique called “sympathetic joy,” which is part of a range of techniques for which there is some striking new scientific evidence.

It is, she says, quite simple. Sympathetic joy is a method for cultivating
“the opposite of jealousy or envy ... It’s simply feeling happy for other
people.” Rachel guided me through how it works.

You close your eyes and picture yourself. You imagine something good
happening to you—falling in love, or writing something you’re proud of. You
feel the joy that would come from that. You let it flow through you.
Then you picture somebody you love, and you imagine something
wonderful happening for them. You feel the joy from that, and you let that,
too, flow through you.

So far, so easy. Then you picture somebody you don’t really know—say,
the clerk who serves you in the grocery store. You imagine something
wonderful happening to her. And you try to feel joy for her—real joy.
Then it gets harder. You picture somebody you don’t like, and you try to
imagine something good happening for that person. And you try to feel joy
for that person. You try to feel the same joy you’d feel for yourself, or for
somebody you love. You imagine how good they’d feel, and how moved
they’d be.

Then you picture somebody you really dislike, or someone you really
envy—Rachel pictured the relative she’s been jealous of. And you try to feel
joy for them. Real, true joy. “When you’re meditating, you may not feel that
way at all. It might actually be almost killing you to say those things,” she
explained. “You might hate the person and their success—but you say it.”
You do this every day, for fifteen minutes. For the first few weeks, Rachel
thought it felt pointless. Nothing changed. But then she started to notice, over
time, “I don’t feel that same churning punch in the gut. It’s just not there.”
She felt the toxic feelings slowly abate. Envy wasn’t puncturing her several
times a day in the same way. The longer she did it, the more these feelings
ebbed. Thinking about the relative she had a particular problem with, she
says, “It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel envy at all about her ever again. It just
means that it’s been taken down so many notches that I don’t experience the
same pain.”

This kind of meditation is about “setting the intention to feel different,”
she told me—“almost like saying ‘I want to feel differently about you,’ and
saying it enough times, until you really do. I think it works on you below the
level of ordinary consciousness.”

As she kept on practicing, she started to feel something more. Part of the
point of sympathetic joy meditation is that you feel less envy, but an even
more important part is that you start to see the happiness of others not as a
rebuke, but as a source of joy for yourself, too. One day Rachel was in a park
and she saw a bride in her wedding dress, with her groom, posing for
pictures. Before, she would have felt envy, and comforted herself by finding
some flaw in the bride or groom. This time, she felt a rush of joy, and it really
lifted her for the rest of the day. She didn’t feel that the bride’s happiness
took away from her happiness—she felt it added to it. She didn’t start
mentally comparing this bride to how she looked on her own own wedding
day. She would never see this couple again, but her eyes welled up with
sympathetic joy."

 

And you can continue therapy on your own. Journaling is particularly helpful. Also reading up on addiction, listening to podcasts (pick ones who are actually experienced in their field) and of course this forum.

I think the most important part of all this is making better you. Getting a partner is secondary and will happen when you are happy with yourself. Alone is not the same as lonely.