I wanna know what Love is....

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by CAKCy, Jul 10, 2021.

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  1. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    Being an introvert/unsocial person I spent almost my entire life in loneliness. I learnt from the very early stages of it, to keep company to myself, to lose myself in thinking, reading, playing, watching a movie, in general doing something alone. One thing, though, that I always craved for was to have someone to love and be loved by. The absence of such a luxury, always made my loneliness unbearable. I had the chance to meet and fall in love with a few women and those were the calm periods of my life. In times when the position of a "significant other" was empty, I would be deeply depressed and I would feel that life had no meaning at all.

    I always thought that Love is a selfish feeling. One loves the person who makes them feel good. About oneself, about life, about every little thing that one considers important.

    I discovered, the hard way, that Love, in its ultimate form, is one of the most altruistic emotions one can have: to sacrifice one's own happiness for the happiness of the person one loves.

    What does Love mean to you?

     
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  2. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

    In my opinion love = lust....〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
     
  3. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    No, kid. Love is not lust. The need for intimacy should be the completion of a relationship.

    You meet a person.
    You like a person.
    You fall in love with a person.
    You love a person.
    Intimacy should start somewhere between falling in love and loving...
     
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  4. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

    But I don't see any difference.
     
  5. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    For you, lust is a given! Whether there is love or not. Of course there is a difference!
     
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  6. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

    Why did you start this thread, when you have so much knowledge of all this?
     
  7. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    Because I need to talk about Love. Especially when I don't have it.
    And because I want to hear what other people think about it.
     
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  8. Then what are you doing here? Go and put yourself out there. I assume you're new to the dating game, so you're obviously gonna have many awkward moments like everyone does when they're new - but I know, and we all know, that you can do it.
     
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  9. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

    He is a 58 year old man, he is not the beginner
     
  10. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

  11. Love can mean many things. Depending on your age, it'll change over time.

    There are stories of dogs dying trying to protect their masters from burglars. There is this mother on CCTV footage somewhere in China who got stuck inside an escalator and throws her baby to the nearest bystander and died for it. There are husbands and wives donating their organs for family member of their other half.

    And then you meet people like this who have a very narrow and utilitarian definition of love.

    So, love is everything and nothing at the same time. It all depends on the person and can be different from one person to another. To try and put it in a concrete form is foolishness.
    -J29
     
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  12. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    Hey Cowboy! Thanks for your reply and your encouraging words!

    No, I'm not new to the dating game. I've been there with a lot of happy moments and a lot of heartaches. I am at an age and a physical condition that "going and putting myself out there" is not an option. :)
     
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  13. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    Hey J29! Thank you for your reply!

    You try to give a global interpretation of the meaning of the word. The instances you mentioned are very true and give a very powerful meaning. I was mostly referring to the romantic version of it. And the impact on one when one doesn't have it. Even at my age...
     
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  14. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    And the message you get from this song (that I don't understand a single word of it) is that "love = lust"?????
    What is wrong with you?
     
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  15. Kung_fu_panda_

    Kung_fu_panda_ Fapstronaut

    This is just the movie definition of love. This is the detailed definition.
     
  16. Actually even if it's true love, where it's more than just romance and two people are best friends there's still a question of context. Suppose two people are truly, deeply in love with each other - but they give no thought to any of their neighbors or the well being of others around them - in the broader context that's clearly an issue. Because of this I find it kind of funny and appropriate the name of the band is Foreigner. It's as if people are so estranged from each other outside of the context of romantic partnership there is no love on the broader level.

    It seems to me people can go through life being fixated on just the context of romantic love, even if it's love lost. Meanwhile you may have a lot of love just waiting for you in the world, it may not be romantic, it may not even be interpersonal, (nature) but people may simply pay no attention to it.

    So in that sense, the question may be not so much what love is, but where love is - or can be.
     
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  17. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    I don't think that that's just a "movie definition".
    What you call a "detailed definition" is what you see through your eyes.
     
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  18. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    Hey OrganizedInformed! Thank you for your reply!

    The romantic partnership is at a class and level of its own. Clearly the couple of your example had issues with their neighbors as individuals before they met and fell in love with each other i.e. it wasn't their romantic love that caused the indifference to the environment.

    You are right that people can be fixated on just the context of romantic love. I believe this is because a romantic love is at a very personal level, which rewards a person for who they are, boosts their self-esteem and reinforces their ego. Although nobody can deny the existence of non-romantic love people may pay no attention to it simply because they don't get a direct gratification by it.

    To love a pet, one's relatives or nature are forms of love that may make one feel positive at some level but they don't trigger the same emotions as those triggered by being in love.

    Clearly the song talks about romantic love and especially the kind of a romantic love when one is at the recipient's side. That's why the author questions how (or what) a (romantic) love is.
     
  19. Of course if we look at that level it naturally expands to a broader context when it's healthy, the couple might have a double date with another couple maybe, and they may have pets, kids etc. When it isn't about a romantic candlelit dinner maybe they can include some members of the family, eventually maybe mentor the kids a little bit as they grow up and so forth. We may not see that as much today but it is possible and still exists.
     
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  20. CAKCy

    CAKCy Fapstronaut

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    A healthy romantic relationship is one that encourages and reinforces the growth and personal improvement of the individuals involved. The gratification or the rewards one receives from being in such a relationship help one feel love of different kinds and levels. An individual being "happy" in a romantic relationship may start emanating non-romantic love towards one's environment.
     
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