I want a better life

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Bobcat Bandit, Apr 27, 2018.

  1. Sad_but_true

    Sad_but_true Fapstronaut

    @Bobcat Bandit we fall down, we get up, we fall down we get up, we fall down, we get up... the only way to succeed is to keep trying. welcome to the human race, flaws are natural. discipline leads to success.
     
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  2. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    Thank you. I'm doing much better now. Still gotta remember to stay humble though! God is good.
     
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  3. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    Great to hear that you are doing better! Relapsing is tough when you’re already trying hard to stay on track. Everyone here has that in common. I know it can feel like the next time is inevitable, but just keep at it.
     
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  4. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    Does it have to feel inevitable? What am I believing sometimes that makes it feel inevitable? Working on these questions now...
     
  5. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    Good questions to consider.

    This is completely off topic but have you ever had something like a faith crisis? I stumbled on some material a while back that made me really question a lot of things. The YouTube video below is what started it. Ignore this if the subject matter is offensive.

     
  6. Hi Bobcat and welcome, had u try cold showering? it had a great impact on my self discipline. its a pain in the begining but eventually it kinda nice.. ^^
     
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  7. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    Okay. Breakthrough. Why does it feel inevitable? Why is going without it such a scary thought? Because I have the false belief that I deserve PMO. I have the false belief that I am entitled to this. And that I shouldn't suffer from it, because I deserve it.

    This is of course false, because that's like saying you deserve to put your hand in a fire every now and then. You deserve it!

    This is gonna be a tough lie to replace with a truth. My brain gets it very easily, but my heart is still holding on, I can feel it. The truth is that what I deserve is God's peace and the ability to choose!
     
  8. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    I have actually never had a faith crisis. I don't know how I got so lucky. The video is what started it? I didn't watch the video, but it was titled why people leave the church and how to help them. Sounds like a video designed to help people out of a faith crisis, not start people into one.
     
  9. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    True that’s what it sounds like lol. Then I googled the guy’s name, found his podcast, and ended up listing to his early podcasts interviewing current and former Mormons on various topics. Long story short, I still believe God wants me to be a member of the Church and I still find spiritual value in attending and participating, but their was a lot of information that I was not aware of that has impacted my worldview. It’s something that felt like a crisis at first but in the end has been a blessing. That’s neither here nor there. I only bring it up because you seem open minded, albeit very devout in your faith and this is a subject I don’t feel is generally up for conversation in our culture. Since you haven’t gone there, though, don’t worry about it.
     
  10. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    I can definitely relate to the feeling of deserving PMO without the negative repercussions. For me, I would also have to admit that PMO is actually what I want in the moment even though I don’t want it or the effects on a long-term basis. Somehow I want to have that pleasure in addition to keeping my family intact. I need to rewire the part of my brain that is designed to always seek the most pleasure to yield to the part of my brain which understands that what is best for my overall well-being and happiness is being 100% morally clean.
     
  11. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    I'm happy to have a conversation about it! I served in the south. At first I was scared of bible bashing. Later I spent a lot of time with a missionary who loved to argue (for better or worse). He taught me that with the truth you have nothing to fear.
     
  12. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    Rewrite it to always seek the most joy and happiness. That pleasure lasts for a moment and costs far too much. What the Lord offers lasts forever and in the end costs you nothing except the decision to have it.
     
  13. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    I see what you’re getting at. I could be misinformed, but I read that there is actually a part of our brain, forget what part it is, that is designed to go for the most pleasure, which is partly what makes PMO challenging. And there is another part acting as the “adult” which can tell the “child” no, not today. Kind of rings true, I should research it more though. I feel more in control with the thought that sexual cravings and temptations come from the way my brain is wired and that by “rebooting”, I will gain greater ability to choose the things that lead to the most joy and happiness, which is what my spirit craves constantly. I feel less in control when thinking of Satan/evil spirits barbarding my mind with thoughts to lead me to PMO.
     
  14. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    That’s cool I went to California.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2018
  15. Bobcat Bandit

    Bobcat Bandit Fapstronaut

    I understand completely! I haven't really figured out the balance between blaming satan or blaming my brain for the temptations. If it's satan, then it's good I'm not responsible for these evil thoughts, but he isn't ever going to stop. If it's me, then shame on me but at least my brain will stop eventually as I train myself.

    Sound familiar?

    I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. Satan will try to tempt you always. But as you practice self mastery the task of defeating satan will become easier because you will be better at it. The same way any task requires less brain power (or will power) the more often you do it. Think about the first time you ever drove a car. How much focus did that take then vs now? Heck, how about learning to walk? Or learning how to get along with someone you know? As tasks are repeated, our brains sorta take over a lot of the workload for us and make it automatic. That's why you can literally drive home on accident. Your brain took over and took you where you normally go.

    Unfortunately that works both ways. If we train our brains to give into impulses, that will become (has become) practically automatic as well. That's why I'm having a bit of a hard time right now. Because my brain is trained to fantasize and I have to focus to stop it.

    It's like turning a container ship around when it's at speed. It's just A LOT of momentum to bring to a halt and turn around. But eventually you can be full steam ahead in the right direction, and satan will have as hard a time stopping you as you do stopping him now. What a wonderful thought!
     
  16. myspirithurt

    myspirithurt Fapstronaut

    Great comment! It’s funny reading some of the superpowers people report from doing well with nofap. I have wondered if part of the increased attention many of them notice from the ladies might relate to Satan being allowed to turn up the heat on them since they are doing well with avoiding PMO. There are a lot of things people attribute this to, but I haven’t seen people mention that Satan might be setting them up to screw up even worse.
     
  17. wolflarsen

    wolflarsen New Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I am a fellow Mormon and looking for an accountability partner. I am also very active in the church!
     

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