I want to be free

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Singersargent84, May 12, 2014.

  1. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    I am new to this , I am hoping this will help me . I have so much to give and offer . And I have have been livin my life for the past few years in denial . I realize now I have a major problem . I am tired of the cycle . thanks for listening
     
  2. samrath71

    samrath71 Fapstronaut

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  3. noblerabbit

    noblerabbit Fapstronaut

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    We understand the cycle. Breaking free can allow you to be yourself again. Fight on bud.
     
  4. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Last night was tempting for some reason . However I pushed on through . I need to get back to my hobbies , and stay busy . Thanks for the support guys .
     
  5. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Last night was a struggle , found myself doing some searches again . I am thrilled I installed my filters
     
  6. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Interesting day . I find myself wasting a lot of time . I believe this one of my triggers . I procrastinate then become frustrated when the deadlines approach I feel stressed consequently , and the cycle begins . I realize I need to prioritize much better . Also I love this counter , with it's progress percentage . By the end of this weekend I will be at 15% closer to my goal . It makes it seem more attainable and reacable that way . Its just stringing each day together . For me , somehow it doesn't make it do daunting . I feel better today
     
  7. MartinSiilak

    MartinSiilak Fapstronaut

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    I went for stronger filters too and keep my MAC on one browser only. Time wasting part is absolutely right, my main problems currently are sleep cycle and prioritizing aswell.

    Best Wishes,
    Martin
     
  8. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday was a triumph . I was in a social setting , I was frustrated over a couple of things . Small things inconsequential events . However this time I was able to overcome those feeling by focusing on the positive conversations . Normally the stress would have caused me to masturbate or watch porn or both . However , I went home and went straight to bed . Woke up Early this morning refreshed . I received a pleasant from an old australian friend . Had a great conversation . I am thinking about going to australia next summer .Anyway I am so pleased I didn't give in that repetitive cycle .

    Thanks for reading
     
  9. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Last night was a busy stressful night at my job . Came home began searching for images , normally would have lead to then searching for porn videos or M . But something was different this time . I felt accountability , I had made this goal .And I use K9 web browser , so I would have had to go unlock the other browser disable the restrictions . And that gave me time to pause and think . So after I would say 10 mins , I turned my phone off And went to bed . Although I wish I wouldn't have looked at the images . I am so glad I stopped when I did instead of starting a porn binge ,which would have lasted an hour or two, or MORE .
     
  10. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Golly ! Last night was stressful at work , or again was it ? I question myself about the stress level , because we have all have a choice . We can can chose to ALLOW something to effect us or we can simply brush it off . Sometimes it's a matter of WHO has said something or done something that gets under our skin . Two people could say/do the exact samething . However depending on whom it comes from can effect how we react . Either we could get irritated or laugh to ourselves . So that's what I learned about last night . Don't focus so much on who is saying or doing something that's bothering me . But rather examine the content or action . And react accordingly . And always find the humor in the little things .
     
  11. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Today was a great day . I still have some brain fog that I have read effects many for maybe a couple of weeks and longer . However I have some fantastic mediation sessions . I have been reflecting on things much deeper than I have in a while . This may seem strange but my brain feels , literally feels more active . Today at work was very succesful . They gave me more responsibility and talked about me being a bartender in the future . in fact I did some training today for an hour and change . Customers reacted well to me working behind the bar . I can't believe the way I feel compared from a week ago .

    Thanks for reading
     
  12. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Last night I went on a binger . Now I must ask myself how did it happen ? What steps lead up to me losing control . I know alcohol contributed to it . I have come this realization . I need to stay away from drinking beers late at night . Totally impaired my judgement.
     
  13. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    I have recently decided to keep my phone in my car at night . For a couple of reasons 1. To not watch porn at night 2. Not waste time on useless social network sites 3. Gives me more time to read .
    So far has been an execellent choice .
     
  14. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Last night was challenging . Its very challenging not to relapse AGAIN after a recent relapse where there had been a long streak . However I am so pleased I have been leaving my phone in my car . It's definately prevented me from relapsing .
     
  15. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Damn! Relapsed again ! This is getting discouraging
     
  16. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Almost 4 days now . Although I have had some relapses . I wholeheartedly believe I have made progress in my daily habits . For one I am much more organized and structured . I don't waste time like I used to . Also I have gone to the extreme and removed wifi from my house . I am very serious about beating this addiction . I think this will alleviate some stress . Just the knowledge that I CANT watch porn in my house has relaxed me .
     
  17. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    Almost 5 days now . I feel a huge load lifted off my shoulders . Mainly because I have removed wifi access to my house . And I don't have phone signal . My confidence is coming back . Had a wonderful time with my new fiend today . We are talking about going to australia together or perhaps Sweden . Its a wonderful thought . Stay strong everyone . I wish everybody a clean and free day
     
  18. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    So last night was a struggle , but I pushed on through . I am at 7 days now AGAIN , any suggestions how to get through the next week ?
     
  19. Singersargent84

    Singersargent84 Fapstronaut

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    so I have set my goal to two weeks since that seems to be the the breakthrough number for me
     
  20. Jimb0

    Jimb0 Fapstronaut

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    When I was addicted to pot many years ago, I had a choice whether to throw away all my stuff or just leave it outside in my garage. The times when I threw it away the more I bought it. I can say to you that I still have some even today but I made a choice not to use it and have no cravings to smoke. I guess it's like when you're a kid and you can't have something, the more you want it. So far I've applied the same method to PMO, I just make a choice not to use it and for me that's been working very well.

    The best thing is just to avoid P. Get yourself busy and do things that are time consuming (playing video games or watching movies, reading). If you feel yourself coming to fantasize, stop and continue doing whatever it is you were doing. IMO it's about changing your mindset. By resisting temptations you develop more self-control in the process. Stopping PMO can only go so far, what matters most is how you come to manage it.

    Just my 2 cents

    Jimb0

    Edit: I reread what I wrote and I feel like I didn't explain myself clear enough. What I meant by the first paragraph I wrote was I read that you gave up your wifi. I was trying to relate it to my pot addiction in that taking something away doesn't necessarily guarantee you'll be free from your addiction. The simple message I was trying to give you was that I think it is better to have a choice rather than to have something permanently taken away from you. To me the choice is less taxing on your mind and in my experience with my PMO so far, it has been manageable. Just trying to give you my own perspective and what worked for me in the past and what has seemingly been helping me now.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014

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