I've been struggling to do NoFap for the last four and a half years. So many beautiful women have taken the time to get to know me but my unhealthy relationship with sex and pornography have left me a kissless virgin at the age of 19. I can remember being inappropriately touched as a kid and porn has become a way for me to escape from reality. I've dropped my drug addiction but I still can't stop compulsively masturbating. I've even started reading gay sex stories which has created a tear in my identity and has led to me feeling empty and lost. I worry I'll never be able to have a healthy relationship with a women. I worry I'll continue to chase sex and porn for the rest of my life, always unsatisfied. I'm tired of hiding all this. I'm tired of keeping secrets, of hiding a "true self." I've even started going to church as of last week in hopes that maybe God can save me from this. I want to beat this. How can I fight urges and sexual thoughts that come to me? How can I one day not have to worry about this again? Is that possible? Is there any foolproof way that I can not relapse again so I can be sure I'm always in control of my body? Somebody please help.